Wednesday, March 15, 2017

"On Fire": What an 'ELIGIBLE BACHELOR' *Really* Is

This quote courtesy of @Pinstamatic (

I'm a quotes girl...

A "movement" that goes by the name Godly Dating recently shared this:

"They're interested, but did God say they were eligible
We have to pray before we make decisions."

I can't tell you how many counseling sessions I have sat in with couples who are currently bearing the fruit of the reality that they did not make building a spiritual relationship, following biblical instruction and making sexual purity as much of priorities as they should have. When you don't and you decide to get married anyway, this is what tends to happen; the "sand" part:

Building on a Solid Foundation

“'Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.'

When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, for he taught with real authority---quite unlike their teachers of religious law."---Matthew 7:24-29(NLT)

Matthew 19:6(NKJV) says "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” This means that God is involved with and a part of biblically-defined marriage (Genesis 2:18-25). This means that when two people who are courting each other honor God and build on *his foundation*, they are able to withstand...*anything*.

That's what's so cool about that quote...

Entertaining the notion of dating a guy just because he's interested in you is a *very low bar*.
A woman who knows her worth (I Corinthians 6:18, I Corinthians 7:23, Proverbs 31:10) really does ask GOD "Is he eligible?"

And here's the deal. Words have life (Proverbs 18:21) and a truly eligible bachelor isn't just a single man (and ANYONE who is NOT MARRIED is "single" by the way---act married when you *are* married). Look at all of what the word "eligible" means:

Eligible: fit or proper to be chosen; worthy of choice; desirable; meeting the stipulated requirements, as to participate, compete, or work; qualified; legally qualified to be elected or appointed to office

Have you asked God if the guy is the one GOD has chosen for you?
Have you asked God if he's worthy of the position?
Have you asked God if he meets all of the requirements to court and then marry you?
Have you asked God if he's legally qualified (if he's married or even divorced, he's not)?

*This is what it means to be with someone who is eligible.*

Just something to think about....


"On Fire": Do You REALLY BELIEVE What God Promised You?

Luke 1.45                                                                                                                                                                                 More:

"Now Mary arose in those days and went into the hill country with haste, to a city of Judah, and entered the house of Zacharias and greeted Elizabeth. And it happened, when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, that the babe leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.  Then she spoke out with a loud voice and said, 'Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! But why is this granted to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For indeed, as soon as the voice of your greeting sounded in my ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy. Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.'"---Luke 1:39-45(NKJV)


I penned a devo that has brought me to the conclusion that I am going to stray away from saying that Christ was single. In the physical realm, to one human woman, he may have been but there is TONS of evidence in the Word that he was indeed married---married to the Church. Literally:

"Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls filled with the seven last plagues came to me and talked with me, saying, 'Come, I will show you the bride, the Lamb’s wife.'"---Revelation 21:9(NKJV)

If you're not on the devotional list, if *ever* I would encourage you to shoot me an email ( so that I can send one of 'em to you, this one would be it! Marriage plays SO MUCH MORE of a spiritual and ministry purpose than, even most of the Church, teaches. I discern that reading it will provide you with more than a couple of "ah ha moments"!

That said...

As I was praying for the "On Fire" women this week, three things came to my spirit.

1) DO NOT COVET OTHER PEOPLE'S SITUATIONS. For one thing, that is breaking the Tenth Commandment (Exodus 20:17). A quote that expresses how people do this well is "Trust God's timing, don't seek something simply because you see others with it." A lot of women probably do not think about what they are *really saying* when they make statements like "Everyone else has a husband or a baby. I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't." Is *that* a healthy motive (Proverbs 21:2&8-Message) to be in a relationship? No. It's not.

2) As I continue to work through the healing of my own past (Romans 12:2), a verse that I try to keep before me is "Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright." (Hebrews 12:14-16--NKJV) Not only is peace *paramount* (Romans 12:18), not only is this verse a CLEAR WARNING about fornication, but peep the part that's underlined and in bold: BITTERNESS IS A TROUBLEMAKER. To be bitter is to be "hard to bear; grievous; distressful". To be bitter is to be "causing pain; piercing; stinging". To be bitter is to be "characterized by intense antagonism or hostility". Guess what else bitter means? This: "resentful or cynical" and "hard to admit or accept". The Message Version of Ecclesiastes 7:18 is one of my favorite verses is "It’s best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it." If you're not willing to accept the season that *God* has us in (Ecclesiastes 3, James 1:4), it can indeed start to make you cynical and yeah, *bitter*. And look at what the Word says about that kind of woman: "There are three things that make the earth tremble---no, four it cannot endure: a slave who becomes a king, an overbearing fool who prospers, a bitter woman who finally gets a husband, a servant girl who supplants her mistress." (Proverbs 30:21-23--NKJV) Rinse and repeat: THE EARTH CANNOT ENDURE A BITTER WOMAN WHO *FINALLY* GETS A HUSBAND. If you know you're dealing with bitterness in your life, God may be keeping you single for you and your future husband's sake! That's something to really ponder (Proverbs 4:26) and pray about (I Thessalonians 5:17). Psalm 84:11 tells us that God withholds no good thing. If you're bitter, being married could be a bittersweet experience *and that* makes me think about this verse: "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!" (Isaiah 5:20--NKJV)

Hello to my future husband I will say to thee you're the proof that God answers prayers. :) yeaaah #AMEN <3:

3) This final point connects to the lead Scripture for this message. It's a verse that a wife shared with me years ago and one that I revisit as a "faith gut check" (Hebrews 11) from time to time. It's some of the words that Elizabeth said to Mary after an Angel of the Lord came to Mary to tell her that she would be carrying Christ. "Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord." I like this for a few reasons too. 1) It's a reminder that we're not only blessed once we get something; we are blessed the moment we *believe* that we will!; 2) Mary had a season of being told she would conceive (without having sex, which makes this a miracle and something that ONLY God could do! God can do what seems to be impossible in your life as well!--Matthew 19:26), a season of growing the child and a season of birthing him. If you've never read the Message Version of Romans 8:22-29, check it out sometime. A line in it says "That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy."; 3) It's also a reminder that while the Word does indeed tell us that "For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us" (2 Corinthians 1:20--NKJV), just because we want something (or one), that doesn NOT automatically mean God promised it (or them) to us. *Desires must be surrendered, completely, to the Father*: "But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death." (James 1:14-15--NKJV) Whatever it is that you want (especially if you are becoming frustrated about it), are you *sure* God promised it to you? Because if you are, waiting isn't something to be/get upset about. The Word says that we are to become *more joyful* in our expectancy! This is what a big part of "walking by faith and not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7) is all about!

This reminds me. If you were one of the women who partook in the "future husband project", I've figured out what to bless you with. I'll be ordering it the first of the month. Luke 1:45 is involved. ;)

For any other "On Fire" woman, if you'd like prayer concerning any three of these points, feel free to shoot me an email. Because what we can be sure of is that there is power in agreement (Matthew 18:19-20) and "Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him." (I John 5:14-15--NKJV) No matter what, *that* you *can* believe!

His Purpose, His Presence, His Peace...


Friday, March 3, 2017

"On Fire": Avoid IMPATIENCE. Stop WORRYING. Don't TORMENT Yourself.

Image result for I john 4:18

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."---I John 4:18(NKJV)


In the wee hours of this morning, I received an email from someone who had written me a couple of weeks before.  She graciously granted me permission to share (anonymously) share parts of it. Once you check it out, you'll probably understand, off top, why this post has the title that it does. Actually, I'm going to share a part of her initial email too so that everything is in its proper context:

First email:

I read your blog about 'God revealing our future spouse'. I'm a believer,a worship leader with a burning passion to do something for God and I have dated a few men in the past but God clearly spoke to me that It wasn't his will so I chose to obey and walk out of every relationship. There's this guy called [I pulled his name out] who is a man of God whose family is serving God. He was my bestie's schoolmate and She had always told me "[I pulled her name out], you would get married to [him] someday. You guys would be a perfect couple serving God", but I never even bothered to know who [he] was until recently; my bestie mentioned the same again. 

So when she mentioned it this time, I had a different kind of feeling and when I checked out his videos (he is a musician who serves God), I had a strong feeling that he was the 'one' but I thought it was my flesh until God spoke to me the following: "He is the one from whose ribs I made you. I will use you both in future to carry my Word to nations. But as of now, I just want you to pray for him and his spiritual growth. I don't want you to approach him. I'm talking to Him as well. In this waiting phase, I want you to prepare yourself and I'm preparing him as well. At the right time, I will give him to you as your husband and your generations will be blessed. Until then, I just want you to pray and prepare."

I was so shocked! I just couldn't believe! I was thinking about my shortcomings and insecurities, but I get peace whenever I pray. I have already started praying for him and his family. My heart is filled with so much love for his family. And, after this revelation, I feel like a different person. Everyday I'm just getting closer to God and becoming a better person.

Now, this is the email I received this morning:

I know I'm bothering you so much but I have no body else to help me out in this. I'm going through this phase where I have started doubting if I really heard it from God or was it just my flesh speaking. I'm wondering if I am even in the right track because if it ain't from God then I would end up grieving God. Wouldn't I ? 

God revealed so many things about him, his character and about our future, but I wanna know if it's really God speaking or just my flesh. I keep hearing this voice saying "I am no man to lie". When I pray, I feel so much at peace. But when I don't ,all these worldly thoughts come creeping in and I start thinking about all the impossibilities, my insecurities, the possibilities of getting my heart broken and I feel so disturbed that I wouldn't even pray. But the truth is I feel at peace only when I pray and God keeps reassuring only when I pray. Now I have even stopped praying for him. Please pray and confirm if it is from God because if it is then I'll continue praying for Him else I'll just stop praying for him, forget him and move on.

Layers. Here.

Let's start with this point. This woman is *extremely responsible* to want to make sure she's not being caught up in her flesh. So many of us are "quick, fast and in a hurry" to say "God said he'd give me the desires of my heart, this is what I want and so I know I'm going to have it" without taking this Scripture into serious and sober-minded account: "But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death." (James 1:14-15--NKJV) Your desires---and your heart (Jeremiah 17:9, Mark 7:20-22)---can get you caught up in a sorts of foolishness if/when they are not FULLY SURRENDERED (Matthew 16:24) to the Lord. And, since Galatians 5:16-17 tells us that the flesh and the Spirit tend to be at odds with one another, praying "not my will but thine will be done" (Matthew 26:39) is a very Christ-like thing to do. Literally. So yeah, big ups to her on that.

Here's where my concern comes in...

If you read this, there seem to be three things that have popped up between the first and second email:

1) Impatience
2) Worry/anxiety
3) Self-torment

God is working on your prayers :) I slip mine into a box and it's like sending mail and waiting for it to be processed and answered :):


So, just a few weeks ago, your BFF and the Lord (in that order?) told you someone was going to be your husband. A few weeks later, you're freaking out? Usually, that's not really about wondering if something is from the Lord or not. It's about us wanting to see EVIDENCE that it is. 2 Corinthians 5:7 reminds us that might not always be what happens because we are called, as children of the Most High (Psalm 82:6), to "walk by faith and not by sight". I'm a huge believer that marriage is indeed a "faith-based union" and I've also seen a pattern of women who knew who their husband was *before* their husband actually knew who their wife was. However, since it is THE WIFE who is called to be the HELPER (Genesis 2:18), it's important, even as single women, to become "faith masters". And, the Word doesn't tell us to put faith in people; Christ himself said "Have faith in God." (Mark 11:22--NKJV) God cannot lie (Titus 1:2); it's not his nature because lying is of the devil (John 8:44) and God has no darkness in him---at all (I John 1:5). Putting faith in him, in spite of what you see *and* don't see, is essential to any believer's walk (Hebrews 11).

I will say this: It's interesting that it wasn't until *after* her BFF planted the seed that she started to hear all of these things. So, my first piece of advice would be for her to say to her friend/friends what the Shulamite woman in the Song of Solomon once did: "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." (Song of Solomon 8:4--NIV) I know what it's like to hear something from God and all of the friends chime in with excitement and "prophecies". It can cause voices to become confusing, for sure---God is not the author of confusion (I Corinthians 14:33). If your friends have told you something they heard from the Lord about you, ask them to pray about it more than talk to you about it. If you've heard something from the Lord about one of your friends, seek him (Matthew 7:7-8) about whether it's your job to be "the deliverer" or simply "the intercessor". Timing is essential when it comes to sharing divine messages (Acts 1:7---Message)

Back to what she believes she heard from the Lord. I discern that one of the main reasons why God doesn't tell us as much as we'd like him to is because, just as the Bible tells us, his understanding is infinite (Psalm 147:5). He knows that if a lot of us hear what's going to happen in the future, we'll take it upon ourselves of when that should be. And if it's longer than what *we* expected, we'll start trippin'. Let's not forget that the foundation of Christianity took THOUSANDS of years to transpire: the coming of Christ. We hear first mention of it after the fall in Genesis 3. A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENED between then and when Mary was told she would have a son and that she should call him "Yehoshua" (Luke 1). When God speaks something into your life, it's important to remember ALL of what Ecclesiastes 3:11(NKJV) says; not just the first part: "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end." When he tells us what will transpire, it's usually to keep us on course. However, it's up to him how short, or long, something should take.

For the impatience that she seems to be expressing, there's this:

"All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning."---Romans 8:22-29(Message)

Remember, love IS patient (I Corinthians 13:4--NCV) and patience is not just about waiting. *So much more* is involved than that! Patience is "the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like". A whole lot of people got married, ignoring the importance and relevance of patience. Use your season of singleness (Ecclesiastes 3) to teach you how to love God, yourself and others...better. And more.

Aren’t we all waiting for something? A job. A college acceptance. The perfect boyfriend. A proposal. A wedding date. A baby. And so the list goes on. So often, we live one step ahead waiting on God...:


Matthew 6: 25-34 is crystal clear on its command. In it, Christ told us not to worry. Why? Because it adds *absolutely nothing* to our lives! Christ told us instead to seek FIRST the kingdom of heaven and its righteousness and everything else will be added. What I LOVE about the kingdom of God is that it has these things in it: "...righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (Romans 14:17) Whenever I sense that one or all these three things are lacking, that's my sign that I'm spiritually out of balance.

Something that I found interesting about her email is that she said when she was praying, she was peaceful. That's pretty biblical: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7-NKJV) My discernment says, however, that God is using this time to grow her prayer life (I Thessalonians 5:17) and to mature her spiritually (Hebrews 5:12-14)---that it's not just about a guy. There's A LOT MORE for her to be focusing on than that!

Did you peep how one of the things she mentioned was ministering to the nations? That's speaking to discipleship (John 8:31-32 & 17:6-19). That's not going to start the moment she gets married. She needs to learn be (more of) a disciple NOW (there's a great article on what discipleship requires here). See, a lot of times we are guilty of being *far too one-dimensional* about what God tells us. Whether she marries this guy or not (because the guy has a "vote" in this too), based on what she believes that she heard, there was A LOT MORE that was said than she would be marrying him someday. If she's to "'Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.' Amen" (Matthew 28:19-20--NKJV), she needs to be taking that *very seriously*; she needs to seek God (Matthew 7:7-8) on what that should look like when it comes to her lifestyle even now.

See, something a lot of us miss is when we do hear a word from the Lord concerning our future spouse, we'll start to make it a god; sometimes without even noticing. Our thoughts become so consumed with "him" that we forget about who made HIM (Genesis 14:19). God cares about what we care about---down to the last detail (I Peter 5:6-7); however, there is so much more to your life than who your husband is going to be and/or when he's going to show up.

Be honest. Are you praying *for* your future husband or *obsessing* over him? God doesn't give us gods to serve. That's breaking the First Commandment (Exodus 20:3). When something (OR ONE) becomes idolatrous for us (I Corinthians 10:14), what we're actually told to do is flee!

When you find yourself worrying or getting anxious over something (including some guy), one or all three of the following things need to happen:

1) You need to pray WITH THANKSGIVING for what God has already done
2) You need to confess (James 5:16) what you are truly worried about (usually it has more to do with your relationship with God and where your faith/trust needs to grow than anything else)
3) You need to repent (I John 1:9-10) for being disobedient. Worrying is an act of disobedient and it's a waste of very precious energy and time.

It reminds me of a cool article I read earlier this week entitled "Singleness Is God’s Best for Me Today". When you get a chance, check it out. If God wanted you to be married today, you'd be married today. Don't underestimate the time of preparation, though. Even when it looks like *nothing* is going on, something is. Do you think that when Rebekah went to offer Abraham's servant and camels some water that she knew she was days away from meeting her husband, Isaac? Her heart for others prepared her for that faithful---and fate-filled---day (Genesis 24).

Stop worrying. Pray and prepare instead.

God is working on your life, God is great, don  worry god has plans for you and he will make your life worth living .,Famous Bible Verses, Encouragement Bible Verses, jesus christ bible verses , daily inspirational quotes with images,  bible verses for inspiration, Leadership Bible Verses,:


The lead Scripture tells us that love DOES NOT involve torment. Yet a TON of women do just that: torment themselves over a guy! Torment is about mental affliction; it also consists of EXCESSIVE worry and stirring things up---basically creating drama where there is none. Satan likes to torment us through his accusations (Revelation 12:10). However, a lot of times he doesn't have to do a thing! We will straight-up torment ourselves!

Did you notice how it doesn't appear that anything has happened---or not happened---between email #1 and email #2 as it relates to the guy himself? But still, she is putting herself through all sorts of emotional roller coaster rides? Did you also peep how she said in the second email that if he's not the one, she'll stop praying for him and his family?

Two points, there...

One, Acts 20:35 tells us that it's more blessed to give than to receive. The Message Version of Proverbs 21:2&8 speaks of God checking our motives and how twisted ones will jack us up. She doesn't need to pray because she believes he's her husband. She needs to pray because he's a man of God and those kinds of men need prayer. If there's anything "good" that's come out of the self-tormenting, it's that she can get honest with God *and* herself about why she's spiritually-serving in this way to begin with.

Two, a practice that I recommend is when you find yourself in a similar predicament, ask yourself "What would God get out of this? What would Satan get out of this?" Satan would lust---because he loves nothing (I John 2:16)---nothing more than for a woman of God to stop praying for a man of God. Not just because of the power of prayer but because prayer is an act of submission. A wife-in-training (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22) needs to learn how to submit to the Lord (James 4:7) before her husband. Satan knows how prayer softens a person (I Peter 3:1-6). It would thrill him for her to be like "If 'he's' not my husband, what's the point?" The *point* is that he's God's children, regardless, praying---as the Holy Spirit leads you to pray (Luke 12:12)---*always* has a point. And purpose.

Another thing to remember about torment is that if you really and truly believe that God is the beginning and the end (Revelation 1:8), there should be nothing to worry about. This includes worrying about whether a guy will choose you---or not. This includes conjuring up all of these tragic tales in your head of heartbreak. This includes wondering if you'll be put to shame if things don't turn out the way you thought that they would.

If you're being obedient to God, if you're not "going off script" in your service to him, if you're honoring his boundaries in relationships (which includes NO SEX---I Corinthians 6:16-20--Message), NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, you are a woman of honor and dignity. And if it's not "this guy", the RIGHT GUY will be blessed to have you. Keeping that in mind alone is a way to deaden any self-torment, right? I certainly hope so.

The picture quote up top is so on-point. It took me years to become a believer of it...

Just like Romans 14:17 is a "gut check Scripture", so is I John 4:18.

Whether it's love or you're "in love"...

If you're feeling that, go to the Source of Love (I John 4:8&16)...
About the root of those feelings.

Again, usually it has very little to do with a man or a relationship...
It's usually a self-worth or spiritual brokenness issue.

The sooner you work with God to heal from that (Psalm 147:3)...
The more stable and secure you'll be as a single woman...
And the better help you'll be to your future husband.

His Purpose, His Presence, His Peace...


Monday, February 20, 2017

"On Fire": Listen for this Future Husband 'Trigger Phrase': 'I've Been Praying...'

You are the woman that some guy is praying for. Woman quotes on

 "Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]."---James 5:16(AMPC) 


There's an entertainment personality named Terrence J who some of you might be familiar with. He used to host BET's 106 & Park. Then he was a host on E! News Live. He's produced a couple of films. He's acted in them too (Think Like a Man and the sequel, for example).

Anyway, last week, he posted something about his girlfriend that helped to inspire this post: "I'm so genuinely happy. Man, can't believe God hooked me up with Jas. I hit the jackpot."

Sweet. Very. Mostly because life has taught me that when a man is at a point of PUBLICLY PRAISING a woman, he's emotionally on another level concerning her. And his intentions for her.

Clearly, it's in a man's spiritual DNA to praise a man---a woman he loves:

"And Adam gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the air and to every [wild] beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or a part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh. And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

Then Adam said, 'This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man.'

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence."---Genesis 2:20-25(AMPC)

Whenever I hear people talk about what a woman should expect in a relationship from a man, a guy pursuing them is what usually tops the list. If y'all have been reading this blog even a little bit, then you know that I'm over here instead: "And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man." (Genesis 2:22--AMPC)

You don't have to *pursue* what's been *brought* to you...

Yeah, personally, I'm more focused on the fact that Adam acknowledged the Woman as being *his Woman*. To me, this is what we need to be listening for more than anything else...a man who sees a woman and "calls her out" in the best way possible. A man who says, "she's a part of me!"

And a godly man?
The best way for him to come to that conclusion is through prayer.

A statement that someone posted last week reminded me of this very fact:
"Imagine a boy praying to God that he marries you..."

to my man of God, I will wait for you. I will no longer date or socialize with copies of you.:

How many women look/pray for a man who's a praying man?!

I mean, I know in theory we say that, but when you're on a date with someone or you allow things to get to the point of being in a relationship, do you listen for the phrase "I was praying this morning" or "I prayed about you" or "I prayed for you" or "I've been talking to God about our relationship"?

Because here's the thing about prayer...
As one author stated:

“Ask, and you will receive…” (John 16:24). We complain before God, and sometimes we are apologetic or indifferent to Him, but we actually ask Him for very few things. Yet a child exhibits a magnificent boldness to ask! Our Lord said, “…unless you…become as little children…” (Matthew 18:3). Ask and God will do. Give Jesus Christ the opportunity and the room to work. The problem is that no one will ever do this until he is at his wits’ end. When a person is at his wits’ end, it no longer seems to be a cowardly thing to pray; in fact, it is the only way he can get in touch with the truth and the reality of God Himself. Be yourself before God and present Him with your problems— the very things that have brought you to your wits’ end. But as long as you think you are self-sufficient, you do not need to ask God for anything.

To say that “prayer changes things” is not as close to the truth as saying, “Prayer changes me and then I change things.” God has established things so that prayer, on the basis of redemption, changes the way a person looks at things. Prayer is not a matter of changing things externally, but one of working miracles in a person’s inner nature.

As single women who desire marriage, is it important to pray for our future husband and our future marriage? *Of course it is* (read more about that here, here and here). And, as you're praying, you know what's equally as important? *Praying that your future husband is praying for you*.

I mean, praying about it *regularly* too, for a couple of reasons...

1) As you pray for this, it will change him to be more like God, change you to be more like God and help both of you to recognize the godliness in one another.

2) It will help you to see what kind of woman a godly wife really and truly is. Because as you *serve in prayer* in this way, it will spiritually reveal (I Corinthians 2:14) what God knows you *and* your future husband deserve in a spouse. And in a marriage.

When it comes to praying in general, a particular article recommends praying---not only these things for him, but that he's praying these things for you:


I believe that a relationship with God is the only way you can be fully human---fully yourself. This is the ultimate prayer for your future spouse: that they would become fully formed followers of Jesus.


Wisdom means “learning to live right,” so pray that your future spouse will make wise decisions on a daily basis.


I worked as a youth pastor for a number of years. It was disturbing how many guys wanted to marry a good Christian virgin, but didn’t see the hypocrisy that goes along with sleeping around or looking at porn. It’s such an ugly double standard...Pray that your future spouse chooses purity in their other relationships.

What you need to do: Evaluate what you want versus what you’re doing. By choosing impurity now, you’re stealing from someone else’s spouse and you’re cheating on your own future marriage. Choose purity.


Selflessness is the most underrated value of our generation, and to me, it’s the most attractive virtue. This isn’t about being less selfish---it’s about thinking about ourselves less. Pray that your future spouse will develop an others-focused mentality.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the 5 Love Languages---quality time, acts of service, gift-giving, words of encouragement, beard-stroking. And many many more, of course. Pray that your future spouse will love others the way they need to be loved. Pray that your future spouse will learn to navigate relationships in a spirit of understanding, grace, and love. 

Never settle

It’s pretty obvious at this point: The American dream is the world’s nightmare. It’s also a detriment to our spiritual walk- we cannot serve both God and money.

Scripture is very clear. In fact, the Bible talks more about money than heaven and hell combined. It’s so easy to settle into a 9-5, collect a paycheck, manicure the lawn, walk the dog, juggle the payments, and live in air-conditioned luxury.

Pray that your future spouse will never buy into that house of cards. Pray that they’ll never believe the lie that stuff will bring them fulfillment.


While most people settle for a career, Christ invites us into a higher calling – a vocation where our life speaks of who we are. Pray that your future spouse will enter the fullness of their calling – to do all they were created to do, and be all they were created to be.

What you need to do: Discover your giftings and strengths and spiritual gifts, and put them into action for a mission and purpose that extends far beyond your lifetime.

Chills. Can you sense how praying this for your future husband *and* praying that he's praying this about you can already make you esteem marriage, honor biblical standards and feel closer to him in the spirit realm (I Corinthians 2:14)?

Just think about it:

"God, please inspire my husband to pray for my purity tonight. I'm really tempted."
"God, please wake my husband to pray for my calling. I want ours to complement each other's."
"God, please ask my husband to praise for how selfish I can be. I want to do better."

We have to remember a promise that God has given us concerning prayer; something that Christ himself once said: " “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” (Matthew 18:19-21--NKJV) Marriage is spiritual. MARRIAGE. IS. SPIRITUAL. It's doing the relationship a *huge* disservice to think that you have to, or should, wait until you're united with someone physically in order for the union to hold value. Prayer can unite the two of you---even now.

Another awesome thing that happens?
In the article "How to Pray for Your Future Wife", the author shares this point:

“But wait,” you may say. “I don’t know who she is.”

But God does. He knows her name. He knows how you will meet her. He knows the moment you will propose. He knows the exact look (or how many tears) you’ll get in your eyes when you see her walk down the aisle. He knows every marital struggle you will face. He knows how, through marriage, you will learn to depend upon His grace even more. He knows precisely what He has in store for you and your wife.

Unfortunately, all too often, the average guy does not start thinking seriously about his future alongside one of God’s daughters until he actually meets her.

That is sad, both for the guy…and his future wife...

If you are growing in your love for Him, then you’ll want what He wants, and He wants certain things for your future wife even now. So why would you not go before Him now to ask Him to give her those things?

So ask Him, men.
Ask in His name (John 14:13).
Ask according to His will (1 John 5:14).
Ask (Matthew 7:7), and keep asking (Luke 18:1-8; 1 Thessalonians 5:17).

Let me assure you of one thing: if you start praying passionately for your future wife (or for anything else), all the powers of Hell will try to stop you. You will be tempted to distraction, discouragement or disappointment. The Enemy does not want you to pray. He wants you to remain silent, and he wants her, and you, to remain unchanged.

Don’t stop praying.

This is the woman who will share life with you, the one you’ll promise, before God, to love and honor until the end, and the woman with whom you will become one. God tells us to cherish our wives “just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:29). The word “cherish” means literally “to keep warm” (like a mother hen keeps her chicks safe and warm under her wings). You are called to reflect Jesus to your wife and treat her as a precious gift of God. One of the ways that Christ cherished the church was by praying for her (John 17:20-26).

You don’t have to wait until you know who she is to begin cherishing your wife. (And you don’t have to wait to ask her Heavenly Daddy for her hand.)

If you have the desire to be honorable, masculine, Christ-like and, yes, romantic…then be the leader, man up, go before Him, get on your knees and fight for her in prayer even now.

That’s what women want.

How do I know?

I asked them.

Again. Chills. Only a spiritually broken woman who doesn't understand the true value of marriage is a woman who would want a man who does not have a relationship with God. "Want" (because we all can be, and probably have been, tempted---I Corinthians 10:13) in these sense of seriously contemplating marriage with a person who is not in communication with the Lord *and* honors the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (I John 5:8). For one thing, it goes directly against biblical instruction because we are told to not unequally yoke ourselves with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:11-18). Secondly, spiritually whole women want to be with a spiritually whole man. And, one example of that kind of individual is a man who prays.

So, that's my prayerful recommendation...
That as you're going to God about marriage...
You'll pray that your future husband prays for you.

On surprising levels, it will bring peace and clarity to your spirit...
I promise you that!

His Purpose, His Presence, His Peace...



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Makeup is Art, Beauty is Spirit. #quote…:

go where you feel the most alive | quote:

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Love Notes To My Future Husband:

REPIN IT! Let's be adventurers! #adventure #rving #inspirational:

Dear Future Boyfriend/Husband, they'll NEVER steer you wrong...:

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Love Notes To My Future Husband:

Marriage Letterpress Card:

How about that !? Stop whining and do something for yourself ! If you don't, why would someone else? Live your dreams ->

Note to self: None of us are getting out of here alive... Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you're carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There's no time for anything else. Positive quotes & sayings #inspiration:

Know the difference, know your self-worth, and have the patience to wait for a man who's worthy of you!:

Don't know if this ever possible, but hey gotta stay positive it can/will happen :):

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A Modern Day Ruth:

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To accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now:

I tried so hard to stay...:

Prayer Of The Day – Heal My Heart Lord --- Dear Lord, My heart is broken. For all different reasons really. I know I am not the only one. There are other wives who also have broken hearts. Crushed beneath the weight of unmet expectations, in anguish over arguments, frustrated about having … Read More Here #marriage #love:

Lessons Learned in Life | Wait for the one.:

"On Fire": Use this Time to Ask Questions. Ask Lots and Lots of Questions.

This site has hundreds of AWESOME marriage quotes!:

"Do not give that which is holy (the sacred thing) to the dogs, and do not throw your pearls before hogs, lest they trample upon them with their feet and turn and tear you in pieces. Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened. "---Matthew 7:6-8(AMPC)


There was a time when I once struggled with this Scripture. Not the New King James Version, but this one: the Classic Amplified one. Only because it says to *keep* asking, seeking and knocking. I mean, since the Word tells us that God knows what we need, even before we ask him just a few verses down from all of this (verse 11, to be exact), why do we need to *keep* doing something?

Then it hit me. Asking, seeking and knocking often involves questioning, and as a wise man once said, wisdom lies in the questions more than the answers.

We're not to question God in the sense of questioning his authority....
We're to question God in the sense of seeking his wisdom and will on matters.
(James 1:5, I John 5:14-15).

And since his thoughts and ways are not our own...
That requires surrendering to a state of always seeking what he desires for us to know--as he reveals it to us based on his discernment of when we're ready to hear it.
(Isaiah 55:8-11, Proverbs 3:4-6)

And so, as I was thinking about this, I thought about two articles I've bookmarked...
And one that the Lord helped me to put together, just this morning.

If you are in a relationship and BOTH OF YOU are contemplating marriage, check out:

276 Questions to Ask Before You Marry


50 Conversations To Have Before You Get Married

I appreciate both of these pieces because trust me, I've sat in sessions with couples who found out stuff they knew *nothing about* prior to those questions. For instance, one couple had been together almost *15 years* before the husband knew his wife had been engaged before. Deceptive on her part? Kinda. Bigger than that, not asking the right questions can hinder you from not receiving the right answers. Things you most certainly need to know!

For instance, here are some questions from the first article that tend to go overlooked:

Are you working on your chosen field?
How many hours a week do you work?
Which (if any holidays do you believe are the most important to celebrate?
Do you enjoy traveling, or are you a homebody?
Have you ever felt deeply insecure in a relationship? Were you able to name your fear?
When was the first time you felt that you were in love with another person? What happened in that relationship, and how have you come to terms with it?
What is the longest relationship you have ever had prior to this one? Why did it end, and what lesson did you learn?
What sexual activities do you enjoy the most? Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable? Be specific! This is no time to hedge.
Do you feel comfortable initiating sex? If yes, why? If no, why?
What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex?
Have you ever been sexually abused or assaulted?
Do you believe it is a sacred responsibility to take care of yourself? Do you believe that taking care of your physical and mental health is a part of honoring your marriage vows?
Are there genetic diseases in your family or a history of cancer, heart disease, or chronic illness?
Do you have health insurance? Dental insurance?
Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?
Have you ever been treated for a mental disorder?
How important is it that you always look your best?
How important is your spouse's appearance? Do you have strong preferences about being with a particular physical type?
Would you feel unfulfilled if you were unable to have children?
Who is responsible for birth control? What would you do if there were an accidental pregnancy before you planned to have children?
What is your view of fertility treatments? Adoption? Would you adopt if you were unable to have a child naturally?
What is your view of abortion? Should a husband have an equal say in whether his wife has an abortion? Have you ever had an abortion?
Have you ever given birth to a child or fathered a child who was put up for adoption?
Do you have a difficult time setting limits with family?
Do you have a best friend?
Do you see a close friend or friends at least once a week? Do you speak to any of your friends on the phone every day?
Do you belong to a political party? Are you actively involved?
Is it important for you to be involved in your local community?
Which kind of charities do you like to support? How much of your annual income do you donate to charity?
Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, what was it?
Do you seek out media with diverse perspectives on the news?
Does your religion impose any behavioral restrictions (dietary, social, familial, sexual) that would affect your partner?
Does popular culture have an important impact on your life?

Whew! And I think that's only 35 of 'em.

The other piece? These kinds of questions are also *super important*:

How do you tend to try to hurt others when you feel hurt?

[When we feel cornered, we tend to aim to hurt others in the way that we would be most hurt by. Those who are most hurt by harsh criticism will be highly critical of others. Those who are most hurt by abandonment will try to make others feel abandoned. Those who are most threatened by being controlled will become very controlling. It's helpful to know what your partner's tendency is in this area so that you can recognize it when it arises, thus giving you more understanding into their mindset and giving you the opportunity to address their hurt. This is a habit your partner may not recognize in themselves offhand; you might find this out by observation, later.]

How do you deal with boundaries?

Do you have trouble saying “no” to certain (or all) people? Are you passive aggressive instead of direct? How do you react when people try to control you? Do you try to control others? Do you manipulate others? Do you let others say “no” to you without guilt or intimidation?

[Whether your partner lets others cross his or her boundaries, or he or she crosses others' boundaries, you should be aware of how they relate to boundaries in general. The boundaries they set for others and accept from others will give you a look at how they will set and accept them in your relationship. Again, this may something your partner is unaware of, unless they have already reflected on it.]

What can you not tolerate in other people?

What bothers you about people? What puts you past your limit? What do you think are bad traits to have?

[Just as it's important to know what your partner admires, it's also important to know what traits he or she disapproves of, so that you can again see where their values lie.]

How do you respond to stress?


Do you become angry? Perfectionistic? Withdrawn? Impulsive? Critical? Irresponsible? What kinds of things do you do or say? 

[It's important to be able to recognize when your partner is acting under stress, so that you can be helpful and not hurtful to them.]

What makes you feel loved by others?

What things do people do that make you feel most appreciated or loved? What is the most loving thing someone has ever done for you? How do you know someone cares about you?

[Understanding your partner's "love language" will not only help you to keep your connection strong and help them feel loved, but it will also help you solve problems down the road when you may not be "speaking their language."]

What emotionally recharges you?


When you are mentally exhausted, what gives you energy again? Brainstorming new ideas? Making lists? Going to coffee with a friend? Doing something physical? What makes you feel like “yourself” again?

[It's so helpful to know how to help your partner recharge- especially if their way of recharging does not match up with yours.]

What emotionally drains you?

What wears you out fastest? Social events? Too many plans? Dealing with someone else’s emotions? Being alone for too long?

[If you know what will drain your partner, you can be sensitive to those situations and anticipate them needing some time to recharge afterwards.]

While people are out here trying to plan dates that mimic The Bachelor, what really needs to be happening is meeting in quiet spots where conversations featuring these questions can be taking place. NO JOKE.

I wonder if you have processed through your feelings about your previous courtship, or you are using concerns about that to test me, or both?:

And if you're not in a relationship, there are some questions that are well worth your time to ask God and yourself. Take yourself on a date, or at least go shopping to pick up a fresh journal:

25 Questions to Ask Yourself

Why do I want to get married?

What is God’s purpose for marriage?

Am I called to marriage?

What would make me a good wife?

What has my past relationships taught me?

How long have I been abstinent?

What did my parents’ marriage (or non-marriage) teach me?

Have I forgiven the men of my past?

Do I have healthy marriage mentors?

How often do I sow seeds into the marriages around me?

What part of the Love Chapter (I Corinthians 13:4-8) do I need to work on?

What parts of me are whole?

What parts of me are broken?

What can a husband do for me that I can’t do for myself?

How much time each week, in prayer, do I devote to my future marriage?

What do I know about submission?

Do I have healthy platonic male friendships?

What are my greatest attributes?

What are my greatest flaws?

Does my church have healthy marriages and a strong marriage ministry?

Am I spiritually mature?

Do I understand how spirituality and sexuality go hand-in-hand?

Do I have a wife mentor in my life?

Have I done everything that I can’t compromise in my marriage?

Am I at peace with God and myself?

The cool thing about asking questions is it's a *preventative measure*:

Question: a problem for discussion or under discussion; a matter for investigation; a matter of some uncertainty or difficulty; problem 

Where you feel uncertain or you're struggling, don't worry (Matthew 6:25-34)...

The more answers you have on the front end...
The healthier you and your marriage will be on the back end.

His Purpose, His Presence, His Peace...