Today, while penning a blog for another site, I referenced the word "romantic". It's not ever been one that has been a big part of my love or lack-of-love life and up until now, I wasn't totally sure why. Quite honestly, it's not even on my nominal list of what I desire in a husband (and I say "nominal" only because time [Ecclesiastes 3:14] and wisdom [Proverbs 4:7] are teaching me, "Look Lord, I want what you want me to want."-LOL). And it never really has been.
So I pondered (Proverbs 4:26) as I did a quick Word (John 1:1, 2 Timothy 3:16-17) check on it. Maybe y'all knew this, but I didn't: I don't care what version or what context (romance, romantic, etc.), I couldn't find it in the Bible. Not one time. Not even in the Song of Solomon (and you *know* that if you can't find it there, *where can you find it?*).
And yet, so many woman seem to put that on their "If God were Santa" wish list: a man who's romantic. Why is that? Do they really know what it means or is it a lot like the two-word combo of relational destruction that drove me up the wall even when I was promiscuous: MAKE LOVE? How do you make what God already is (I John 4:16)? Isn't that, at best, a bit arrogant (Proverbs 16:18)? But that's another blog for another time...
Anyway, here are some definitions of romantic. In case anyone was wondering.
Romantic: fanciful, impractical, unrealistic; imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, etc.
Synonyms: charming, colorful, dreamy, erotic, fairytale, mysterious, *sloppy* (?!?), starry-eyed, whimsical, wild
Now, of course I picked some of the most extreme synonyms that I could find. *On purpose*. The reason is because sometimes I think we're asking for things and we don't understand *the totality* of our request (insert "husband" and "children" here, for example-Malachi 2:15). Oh but Adonai, *the ultimate wordsmith* does. Sometimes, I think our ignorance (Hosea 4:6) surrounding our vocabulary is just another reason for the "Proverbs 18:21 heads up". Indeed, death and life *are* in the power of the tongue. Praying for a romantic man, are ya? Does that include him being impractical, unrealistic (Ecclesiastes 7:18-Message), sloppy and wild? Something tells me it doesn't. Or at least shouldn't (LOL).
Of course, there are some definitions that ain't so bad. A desire for adventure (in context) and chivalry are good things. Synonyms like "amorous", "fascinating", "passionate" (again, in context), "tender" and "visionary" are some beautiful ways to describe and define a person. Although, I also caught that another romantic definition is to be dominated by an ideal and no desire is to consume you. Unless it's a desire for more of the Lord and what he has in mind for you and your life (Jeremiah 29:11). And even then, we are simply to surrender to the process. Not run it over.
Actually, now that I am, as my mother says "unpacking" all of this, I get why I, even in my rebellion and sometimes stupidity, still managed to say, "I want an attentive and affectionate man." Romance, like charm, which again is a synonym of the word, can be fleeting (Proverbs 31:30) *or* it can be so multi-dimensional that one day you get "fantastic" followed by "corny" on the next. Be careful what you ask for. Be knowledgable of what you pray for too. While interceding for the women participating in the "Clear Response" fast, I've been spending some concentrated time in Psalm 106. There have been reported cases of Adonai giving people what they wanted *while it brought leanness to their soul* (verse 15) and I do not think it's by happenstance that this message is being sent out today. Again, be careful what you pray for. In all of thy wisdom, *get an understanding*.
I spent some time this morning (re)reading Song of Solomon 4. I have already had a special affinity for when he said, "My darling, everything about you is beautiful and there is nothing at all wrong with you." (verse 7-NCV) And you know what? While some may call that "so romantic", I'm opting to use the word "aware". Similar to what Adam said when the Woman was *brought* or as some translations say, "presented" to him (Genesis 2:18-25), this man knew that his Woman was a blessing. In every way. I wouldn't call that "romance"; I prefer to think of it as "awareness".
"Lord, please bless me with a man who is *aware* of who I am in his life."
Yeah. Romance? That's for the ignorant.
And when you know better, you do better. Even (and in some ways, especially) in your praying. ;-)
Love to you,