"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."---Ephesians 5:22-29 (NKJV)
I'm gonna do my best to not go on and on about this topic...
It's just that I ran across an article this week that caught my eye. It was entitled, "7 Ways You Can Tell Chivalry Is Dead". Yeah. Well. Let me first say that in some ways, the e-zine gets props for even *acknowledging* chivalry. Because, yes, while it does appear to be an "endangered species" re: a lot of men's character, you'd be amazed how many women...*how many grown women* have no clue what it even is. And indeed, it's hard to expect what you don't know you deserve.
*a sermon unto itself*
It's kinda like my theory on why so many men "pause" at marriage. Boy, I wish women would own up to their power...that can be used for good *or* for evil (we are *helpers* after all-Genesis 2:18). I mean, wait until marriage for sex...for what? If you're giving it up on the front end. Take you out on dates...for what? If you are putting yourself so out there that there's no real reason for him to take you...he already knows everything. Open your door...for what? You're so busy trying to get to it first. Or...you are not patient enough to wait for him to get it (or catch on that he's supposed to get it). In reference to that last point, I smiled when I read the article, "How to Be Chivalrous"on HubPages:
It's ok to be a feminist. It's not ok to be a femnazi.
Ms. Femnazi; If he holds a door open for you, he's just trying to show you some respect. Did you not spend the last few decades fighting for respect from men? Think about that, the next time you're getting ready to throw a temper tantrum. If you can't handle a simple act of courtesy, you've got bigger issues that have nothing to do with civil rights.
Femnazi (LOL). *Classic*. It was the feminist Gloria Steinem who once said, "We are becoming the men that we wanted to marry" and while I'm not 100% sure where *she* was coming from, the more I am allowing the Lord to reveal to me the *priority of femininity* (Proverbs 31:30), personally, I find that statement to be *highly unfortunate*. AND ACCURATE.
Then, when I read another article on chivalry, my suspicions were confirmed. It's a site that has quite a bit of content that I dig: "The Art of Manliness". Anyway, as I was reading through its own take on being chivalrous, "Be a Modern Knight: Protecting Your Lady in the 21st Century", I loved (loved, loved!) that three of its points were, "Guard Against Harmful Media Sources", "Steer Her Away from Negative Friends" and (whew and amen!) "Quit Watching Porn". A MAN WITH A SEXUAL ADDICTION IS NOT A MAN WHO IS CHIVALROUS. A MAN WHO DOES NOT TRY AND GUARD YOU FROM SEXUAL SIN IS NOT EITHER. We are of a royal priesthood (I Peter 2:9). We are daughters of the Most High, the "King of kings and Lord of lords" (Revelation 17:14). Another word for "chivalrous" is "noble". QUEENS ARE WORTHY OF A NOBLE MAN. *IN EVERY WAY*. *IN EVERY ROOM*.
This is where Ephesians comes into play. It shouldn't be rocket science, but a lot of us sure do make certain things *far more complicated* than they have to be, don't we. My point?
*Watch how a man honors Adonai and treats himself. It will speak *volumes* re: how you will be treated.*
A man who is not faithful to God, why would you expect him to be faithful to you? A man who does not *respect* God, why would you expect him to respect you? A man who doesn't even spend enough time (2 Timothy 2:15) in the Word, *which is God* (John 1:1), to know that the comparative between how Christ treats the Church and how he is to treat his (future) wife? That is *quite telling*. Why would you expect chivalry from him? In the grand scheme of Ephesians 5 standards, chivalry is like icing on the cake. It doesn't even *begin* to scratch the surface of what a man is supposed to do for the woman he loves. And in a lot of ways, for women in general, as a brother to his spiritual sisters to help remind them of the bar that has been set (and for many, raised) in God's kingdom re: how a man should treat a woman.
Yeah, I know. Some people would challenge that a man walking on the outside of the sidewalk or pulling out a lady's chair is outdated. Whatever. The Lord is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8) and ROYALTY NEVER GOES OUT OF STYLE. It is classic. And timeless.
The Word says that a man nourishes and cherishes his body. When a woman is united to her Beloved, she becomes a part of his body (Genesis 2:24-25). Chivalry is just an example of how he honors his rib. And ladies, if it's dead while you're dating (er, *courting*), it's gonna be *really taxing* trying to resurrect it once you're married.
Don't be so desperate (or needy or fearful) that you become the man that you want to marry. Just be *the woman* that your godly ideal should marry. By holding him to manly standards. By expecting no less than nobility.
Love to you,