Friday, October 21, 2011

"On Fire": Later. Sometimes Means Better. Most Times, Actually.

"Jesus said to him, 'You do not understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later on.'"---John 13:7(AMP)

"At first we hope too much; later on, not enough."---Joseph Roux

My hope chest sits, patiently, next to the love seat where I do a lot of my writing. Therefore, I see it everyday; but just now, am I *really looking at it*. Again. Wooden. Hand-carved. With angels all about. Hmph. It's funny that *just now*, I'm processing that it represents the theme Scripture for this blog: "Who makes His angels spirits, His ministers a flame of fire." (Psalm 104:4-NKJV)


I used to make it a point to put something in it rather regularly. Yet, there's been so much...upheaval as of late, that I must admit that it's been neglected. That I haven't been making my hope chest...HOPE-FULL. I've got to get better. Sometime over this weekend, I shall.

Actually, I think I know what I will put inside of it. I will order a book that one of the "On Fire" gals sent me a link to last week (thanks again, Nicole). Seven days ago, actually. It's entitled, "Baby Changes Everything: Embracing and Preparing for Motherhood After 35". When I got the email with the subject heading, "SOMETHING FOR PEREZ'S MOM", I thought, "That's cute." Yet, after reading a story earlier today and the lead Scripture which complements it well, I now see that the Spirit (John 4:24) is saying, "Oh, it's a lot more than that." Yeah. Adonai is a lot more than...cute.

The story was on It's entitled, "My Husband's Ticking Biological Clock" and at the risk of overusing the word, yes, I found it to be...*cute*. And somewhat profound. In the timing (Acts 1:7-Message) of my reading it. Because timing is such a...catchy word. And I picked that word on purpose because based on its context, "catchy" can either mean, "pleasing and easily remembered" *or* "tricky and deceptive". When you get the timing thing right, it's the former. When you don't, it's the latter. I'm trying to master the first one. More. And better.

I think that's why I gravitated to this part of the author's narrative so much:

"On paper we both wanted the same thing: to start our own family. We just happened to want that same thing at different times. As the dance of our relationship revealed, timing was everything. If one person moved too quickly or too slowly, the whole thing became clumsy. Clearly we’d have to compromise. And that meant neither party would get exactly what they desired. So like a game of chicken, each of us waited, wondering who’d budge first. I didn’t want it to be me, pushed into a new role prematurely.  I was confident that postponing parenthood now promised the two of us, and our unborn offspring, a brighter, more satisfying future. That waiting until I was ready to be a mother meant I’d be a better mother. I only hoped that when I finally was ready, my body and my husband wouldn’t tell me it was too late."

Now, I'll be the *first* one to say that it bugs me when women call the Lord "their husband" in a humanized way. It's a metaphor (Hosea 2:16). Not an exact in the sense of him doing what an earthly being is created to do. However, when it comes to the analogy, I couldn't help but think of some of the things on my "heart wish list" and feel that Adonai and I have similar dialogues as this woman and her husband do. That when it comes to certain things, with my whole heart, I believe that Adonai and I want the same things for me. And, because he is a *perfect spirit* and I am a *flawed piece of flesh*, there is often a compromise that transpires: he waits for me to get with his program (LOL). But more than anything, what really hit home for me---mind, body and spirit, is when the author said that she was confident that postponing parenthood was to ultimately bring about a brighter and more satisfying future for her unborn child. That waiting to be ready meant waiting to be better.


This is God's vote. This I know.

You know, if you read the context of the lead verse for this lil' blog thought, it's when Christ was about the wash the disciples' feet. Peter didn't understand why Christ was doing it. That way. Christ simply said, "You do not understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later on." And a lot of times, in our "love relationship of compromise with the Lord", we have to come to this same resolve. That we don't always understand what is going on *right now*, but if we wait, we will. Later.

And later. Sometimes means better. Best, actually, if it's according to Adonai's timing.

I'm praying for y'all. Still. Hope does not disappoint (Romans 5:5). Still.

Lech Lecha,



  1. Thank you, back for this post, Shellie. Being a late bloomer at everything (I am a college senior at 32), I feel your post and the Salon article. It reminds me that whatever is going on in other people's lives, God's timing for me is not off.....just different and for the best. I am finally learning to stop being in angst about doing what everyone else is doing and start becoming what He wants me to become in his time.

  2. Hang in there, Nicole. In the wise words of "The Inkwell", "Different takes care and patience." ;-)