Sunday, November 6, 2011

BOOK RECOMMEND: "Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn't Expect" (Connally Gilliam)

Hook, line and sinker...

"So goes the infamous tale of Eve and the wily serpent. How strangely relevant it is---her confrontation with a choice not dissimilar to the choices that face so many of my friends and me. 'Trust me,' says God. 'My reasons are good.' Whoa, that doesn't fly so well today. Meanwhile, the serpent offered a far more tangible, sensory experience. 'Eat it,' he said. 'Your reasons are good.' So Eve, like all of us (in so many areas including but not limited sexuality), had a choice. In what, or whom, would she trust?

Maybe that question would be my response to the original question at hand in this chapter. 'What do you say to the women who are getting it? My best response is, 'In whom or in what will you trust?' I don't say that flippantly. Trusting, for me, is a struggle.

But maybe before you answer that question, I'd simply suggest two things: First, try paying honest and loving attention to your own heart. Sometimes the little pangs that are so easy to ignore are trying to speak volumes of truth. Maybe there's a good reason that, like my friend, at the end of the day, you're just not that into it. Or maybe, like many of us, relationship endings have left your heart torn asunder. Or maybe, like me, you know there's some faint smell of selfishness involved in your physical relationships that you'd rather just ignore. It's not easy to pay attention, but it's never too late. And how great is it to have a heart that is growing more secure, forgiven and free.

Second, risk paying attention to God's heart. In searching for a vision and vocabulary for sex, I've discovered that God isn't a killjoy. Bonding, healing and pleasure are his ideas. We---I---do not need to try and sneak them past God in hopes of getting good things from homemade gods because the real God is tightfisted. Instead, as we learn to go to the Creator, we can as him to lay those gifts on us. If he chooses to use marriage and sex as one of his means, great. But if not (and way into my thirties now, I know that there are no guarantees), it's worth the risk to trust that he'll come through via other means. The bonds, healing and pleasures that I've found outside of sexual connection and outside of marriage are very real. I can see that God's fingerprints are everywhere in my life: in my family, my friendships, my vocation and a thousand little piddly places. 

As the creator not of water guns, but of water falls; not of nuclear reactors, but the sun itself, God has the power to deliver love and life to all of us, including the currently single and celibate types. Honestly, I don't always feel it and sometimes like Eve I want a serious bite of that fruit now, on my terms. But I'm starting to believe that when the time is right, God can deliver more fruit than I could ever want. As a matter of fact, he's got the power to bring the orchard straight to me! After all, for him, moving mountains are mere child's play!"---"Revelations of a Single Woman", pg. 81-82

I'm sure many can relate. *Good stuff*. You can get it here.



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