Wednesday, November 9, 2011

BOOK RECOMMENDATION: "Cupidity: 50 Stupid Things People Do for Love and How to Avoid Them" (Hayley DiMarco, Michael DiMarco)

Hook, line and sinker...

"A lot of times when we're hurt, however, it isn't because of sin but because of an offense. When you are offended by someone else, it can feel like an attack. But every time you have trouble getting over something, you have to ask yourself, Was what they did a sin or did they just hurt me? Because last time we checked, hurting you isn't a sin in itself.  Sure, the person may not have acted in what you perceive as love, or even kindness, but there is a distinct possibility that you didn't either. Often, especially in love relationships, we hear things that aren't even said. We misread or read between the lines and project our own emotions and thought patterns onto another person. This is complete Cupidity.

When you make assumptions about people's motives, you are actually operating in deceit. You lie to yourself if you believe that your beloved, someone of the opposite sex, wants the same things you want and thinks the same way you think. That is why it is important to slow down and ask yourself about your grudge or inability to get over anything that your loved one has done. At any point you can't forgive or get over something, you first have to ask yourself, Am I unable to forgive a sin they have committed against me, or am I unable to let go of the pain that they have caused me? If your answer is in the affirmative, it reveals that your focus is inward instead of upward. If someone offended you but not sinned against you, there is really nothing to forgive, since the only thing that really needs to be forgiven is sin. Therefore, it's just a question of can you get over it? If you can't, then you are the one causing the pain in your life and in your relationship. You can't blame it on the other person's action because their action is over; it's your thought pattern that makes it continue. After all, it isn't what happens to you that hurts you but what you think about what happens to you that messes with your mind and emotions. (Except, of course, in case of actual physical pain or abuse, see #25.)

In other situations, you have the power to get over things, to move on and change the atmosphere in your home, no matter what's going on. But it will take a reassigning of your hope. If you keep it all wrapped up in the other person, then you're going to be disappointed. But if your hope is wrapped up in a more godly direction, then you're sure to keep a strong footing. The easiest path isn't always the best one, and choosing to get over something is definitely a hard path. But it is also the most beneficial. After all, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15). Clearly, if we look at forgiveness in light of this Scripture, it is for our own good. Refusing to forgive not only tortures us mentally but has an enormous impact on our relationship with God."---"Misunderstanding Forgiveness (or Refusing to Get Over It)", pg. 30-31

You can cop this path to freedom (LOL) here.



1 comment:

  1. I read this one last summer and it is so worth the read. I borrowed my copy from the local library and took a lot of notes so that I could remember what I was learning!