"This time we decided on an April wedding, which would be exactly two years after we met. But even pushing back the date did not appease Lew after a while. He was soon finding fault with me and everything else. Small things became gigantic issues. We argued incessantly, something we had never done before. He insisted on a prenuptial agreement, which I agreed to sign, despite my attorney's very strong advice not to sign it. I now wonder if Lew was hoping that by insisting I sign a prenup, it might force me to call off the wedding. At the time, however, I truly felt he was simply anxious, as any groom would be, and that once he said, 'I do', he would be fine. So I persevered, plowed on, and continued to plan our wedding and new life.
I should, however, have known we were really in trouble the day before the rehearsal when we went to get our marriage license, and he would not get out of the car. Not a good sign. Again and again I assured him that it was just nerves, that he knew this was right, and that we were going to be happy. Finally he agreed, we got out of the car, and we soon had the license in hand, but by then, my anxiety level was matching his own.
Right about now, you are probably thinking, How could anybody with half a brain and one iota of self-respect not give him back his engagement ring and call the whole thing off herself? That is an easy one to explain: I was in love. It was as simple as that.
The final chapter of my life is all about recovery from the loss of Lew and how God helped me put my life back together. It is by far the best part of the story."---"The Chapters of My Life"---pg.24-25
"That's how I know that when Lew left me at the altar that day, God was every bit as heartbroken as my mother. But he was equipped to help me deal with my pain in ways my earthly mother never could. He was with me when no one else was. He watched me every single moment, his spirit prayed for me, even when I couldn't and he infused me with his strength, even when I would not ask. He sent loving arms to hold me and tender and patient hearts to comfort me. He was close to me when my heart was breaking, and he covered me with his mighty wings so I could find refuge.
A Breath of Hope
This loving Father did something else too. When he created me, he installed the one thing every human being needs to survive: hope. Even when I did not believe it was there, it was. On my darkest days of depression and feelings of hopelessness, there was this tiny, itsy, bitsy speck of hope that still burned in my soul, a flickering flame God kept burning even when I did not think he cared. He let me mourn. He let me grieve the loss of the love of my life. He even let me hate him and yell at him. But one day he gently blew his warm, Fatherly breath on that tiny flame of hope until it flared and grew, and he said, 'Enough is enough. I have let you have your time to cry, be sad, and feel sorry for yourself, but you have mourned this man long enough. You have a life to live, young lady, and what a life I have in store for you!'
I wish I could tell you the exact moment that happened and give you a blueprint for exactly how to get there yourself. I can promise you that God has such a moment planned for your life as well. All he wants is for us, like Leah, to acknowledge his presence in our lives and to trust him. That's why he makes such a big deal about trust in his Word. Over and over he begs us to trust him and promises us the most amazing peace if we will."---"The Hole in My Heart"---pg.116-117
Amazing how many "relational ailments" AND solutions there are. You can get this particular dose of "emotional salve" here.