I got a love package from my mom this past week. Within it, there was a book entitled, "Significance: Sometimes the Only Cure for a Bad Man...Is a Better One". Cute. But what really caught my attention is when I flipped the cover over and saw the smiling picture of *a man* as the author. His name is Vincent Mafu.
I love to read and so I'm gonna try and get through it this week. In the meantime, though, I wanted to share a few of his "feature lists" with *brief excerpts* from each of them. Now, I'm not big on calling men, of any caliber, *dogs* but I am big on Matthew 7:6(NKJV): "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces." And so, I'll take Mr. Mafu's "free dog usage" as...poetic symbolism (LOL). What I *do* enjoy is his "cut the crap" approach. Knowledge comes to save us in so many forms (Hosea 4:6). Truth comes to set us free in so many ways too (John 8:32)! After reading some of his work, he definitely brings a new approach to "You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men." (I Corinthians 7:23-NKJV)
10 Questions to Ask Yourself (re: Lessons About Dogs)
1) Do You Undervalue Yourself? When a woman doesn't value herself, when a woman doesn't believe that she is a woman of worth, she puts out a strong scent to all dishonorable males. Ladies, hear me clearly on this crucial point: being a woman of worth and a woman of value is a CHOICE that only you can make. Once you decide you are worthy of love, respect and honor, you put out a scent that draws honorable men and repels the dogs.
2) Are You Willing to Have Sex Outside of Marriage? Women who are willing to have sex without the protection and benefit of a marriage covenant automatically devalue themselves. Their decision screams OPEN HOUSE to all vagabonds and sexual squatters.
3) Do You Live in a Fantasy World? Some women make themselves easy targets for dogs because they live in a fantasy world. They have been dreaming of being swept off their feet by a "Knight in Shining Armor" while totally rejecting the fact that multitudes of "Knights in Pining Armor" are on the prowl.
4) Are You a Sex Trader? This may sting a little, but surely you have heard about these types of females? They sex men up in return for materialistic favors. Sane people call it prostitution, but these females classify what they do as reasonable restitution.
5) Do You Intentionally Overlook Bad Behavior? Some women see and feel their man's volatile temper, lies, abuse, drug/alcohol/pornography addiction, infidelities, homosexuality and other misogynistic ways. Yet, they bull-headedly proceed forward in the relationship anyway.
6) Are You a Simple-Minded Woman? Proverbs 9:13 says, "A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing." To be simple-minded means to be easily seduced. When it comes to men, the one word to describe this type of woman is "easy"! Men don't have to do or say much to get with them. They sincerely believe all men are honorable. They prove their baseless theory by recklessly putting their faith in untrustworthy men.
7) Do You Have a Spirit of Rebellion? The scent of rebellion is like an enticing aroma to woman haters. They easily sniff out rebellious females. These women won't listen to caring family, friends or relatives. In their minds they have got life and men figured out....at least that's what they adamantly believe.
8) Do You Have the Spirit of a Strange Woman? Proverbs 22:14 says, "The mouth of a strange woman is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the Lord shall fall therein." A strange woman is a woman who has altogether rejected God.
9) Does All of Your Information About Men Come from Females? When everything a woman has learned about men comes only from females she has put herself at a hazardous disadvantage. Ladies, be crystal clear on this point: no matter how intelligent you are, there are certain things women WILL NEVER comprehend about men..NEVER!
10) Do You Have Any Relationship Training? The women who answer "No" to this vital question are sitting targets for dogs. Dishonorable males bank on women not understanding: a) The current day dynamics of love, sex, relationships and marriage; b) The difference between honorable men and dishonorable males; c) The various snare, traps and tricks used by scheming males; d) When a man has mobilized himself for marriage; e) How God warns you about dangerous males; f) How to tell when a man is wearing masks; g) How to tell when a man is an abuser; h) What true love is. No woman should be dating, let alone getting married, until she has been trained to reign in the area of love, sex, relationships and marriage. Women who roll the dice and wing it, rarely win at love.
The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes Women Make
MISTAKE #1: Betting Your Love Life on His "Potential": Do you know any women who want the man they're dating to behave differently? Of course you do. And, just like me, I'm sure you have friends who date guys who don't have much going for them or who don't treat them very well. Somehow these women always have an excuse for the guy's shortcomings. What's going on here? It's actually very simple. Women (and men) don't base their choices of men on how "nice" or "good" someone is to them day-to-day. Women choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And, guess what? Some women will continue to put up with a guy who doesn't treat them very well, sometimes for months or years...But why in the world would a woman do that? Well, to put it simply, they confuse the strong attraction they feel for the guy with a deeper "connection". Women who do this are doomed to end up in failed relationships with the "wrong" guys. How do I know? Because I've seen it at least a hundred times.
MISTAKE #2: Assuming You "Get" Men and Their Psychology: Men are different from women. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it...As you probably already know, men are generally more visual. As a result, they often don't understand non-verbal communication as well as women. And men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and "intuition". Women don't seem to remember this about men.
MISTAKE #3: Pretending to Be Something for a Man: In the desire to please a man, women are constantly doing things to get a man's attention, to get him to like them or to make him more attracted or in love with them. Another HORRIBLE idea. Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guy's attention will make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them. Wrong. Men YOU TRULY WANT are never attracted to the types of women who kiss up to them, make weak plays for affection or complain to get what they want...EVER. Don't get me wrong here. Things like being sexy for a man or encouraging him to share his feelings can be good, but it has to be genuine, unselfish and, most of all, timely.
MISTAKE #4: Sharing How You "Feel" Too Early with Him: Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they "feel" too early on. Listen...Attractive, single, successful men are rare. They get A LOT of attention from women. Most women don't realize this, but attractive men get approached in one way or another all of the time by women. And guess what? Attractive men usually have dated a lot of women. That's right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive man off and sends him away running faster than just about anything is a woman who starts off saying, "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. This signals to the man that you're just like one of those stereotype women who wants to rush into a relationship and control herself from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives. This does NOT spell ATTRACTION for a man. Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way...
MISTAKE #5: Misreading the Important "Signals" That Men Send: Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves. Most women don't pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are. The signals men send have four main levels: a) Social: Where the man is at in his own life---stability, confidence, direction; b) Emotional: Whether or not he's "emotionally available"; c) Physical: If he's attracted to you...and for what reasons; d) Love State: If he's open to building and growing a relationship in the future. The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely by accident. That's the great news to women...Men can't help it! You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.
MISTAKE #6: Relying on Your Natural Ability to Judge a Man's Character: People aren't easy to figure out, especially men...Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around. You can avoid this pain if you learn to identify a good man from a bad one.
MISTAKE #7: Expecting a Relationship to Make You Happy: A mistake I've seen women make is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled. And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens. But those are exceptions, not the rule. Nothing says "Run!" to a man faster than hearing or sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her. And the men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren't exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there. Think instead, "controlling, macho, or serious Mom Issues!"
MISTAKE #8: Trying to "Convince" Him to Like You or Love You: What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like...but he's just not that interested or isn't as serious? Right! They try to "convince" the man to feel differently. Well, I have news for you....YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, ever. You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning". Think about it. If a man doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being "reasonable" with him? But we all do it. Men are the worst at this, by the way. They're always complimenting women who don't like them and buying them gifts. Women like the behavior sometimes, but it NEVER makes the woman like the man. She might enjoy what she gets out of it, but it doesn't change the way she FEELS about him. When a man just isn't interested, women will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches. Bad idea. Another one that will never work.
MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing What to Do in Each Type of Situation: A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman. And I don't just mean sex. I know it might be hard to believe, but if you're out of a date with a man he already has an idea of what he wants from you. And if you don't know HOW to find this out and you just sit there looking at him and flirting, or trying things you think will make him want you, he won't help! If you don't know what to do in each situation, you'll probably screw it up...and LOSE EVERYTHING.
MISTAKE #10: Not Getting Help: This is the biggest mistake of all. This mistake keeps women from EVER having the kind of success and finding the kind of man and relationship that they truly want.
The (10) Men You Need to Avoid
1) Men Who Are Cruel: Simply put, there are men who are monsters hiding behind a thin veneer of charm and sanity. There is nothing in the world as ugly or damaging as a cruel man. For some reason, there are men out there who take only joy in seeing someone in pain (I don't mean like in dull headache kind of pain---I mean like a big knock on the head pain). People say it's a power thing, but I know it's a sickness thing. It's sick to be you if you are with someone like him.
2) Men Who Only Think with Their Sticks: Well, as we well know, the streets to the courthouse are littered with broken marriages caused by men who think with their sticks and not with their brains...Know that you've got a weasel in your arms and throw him away before he puts you on the front pages of the daily newspaper for murder.
3) Men Who Refuse to Grow Up: Other than the normal guy who wants to have his ego stroked constantly and only do what he wants to do, there are those guys who really are babies---selfish, spoiled, useless little boys who don't understand the concept of responsibility or self-respect. These men are the ones who can't keep a job, who blame everyone else for their own stupidity and laziness, who are constantly outraged that the world is not giving them the respect they deserve. Clueless, they never realize that they are, in fact, getting the respect that they deserve.
4) Men Who Are Way Too Paranoid: Something about these green-eyed goblins drives them to think you are cheating, even when you are with them. They are the ones who seem to be so confident at first, flirting with you and attracted to your ability to flirt back. You date them and find they really don't like your clothes (too revealing), your car (too flashy), your friends (sluts), your family (too nosy), your job (too demanding) until you wake up one day to find the only thing you have left in your life is a miserable, paranoid, weird, violent man who can't stand you out of his sight but can't stand the sight of you.
5) Men Who Think They Are Better Than You: Have you met him? He's all about feeling superior. Nobody is good enough for him. He has a laser sharp tongue and can shred anything in sight until it lies in tatters in front of him. This cold dead fish is unable to break into a smile for fear of splitting his face. He simply takes comfort in feeling that he is better than everybody else.
6) Men Who Are Prettier Than You: It's one thing to date a sexy honey who looks like Brad Pitt; it's quite another story to be with someone who makes you feel like a manly cow just by standing next to him. You know the type, don't you? He's the "metro man" who spends more time fluffing his hair just so and takes more time doing it than you would spend painting a barn door. Ladies, the secret to feeling pretty and feminine is to never date a man that's more beautiful than you and more delicate than you. So, stop feeling like the turd that's drying out in the sun and dump the whiny narcissist.
7) Men Who Think They Know You: These are the guys who think they are Freud. They spend all of their time thinking and little time actually doing anything constructive. They have put a big label on you after one date and one night of conversation. He's the guy who sits there watching you, with that stupid smug "I knew it" look on his hound-dog face. He's clearly thinking that by putting a label on you he has you all figured out and knows just what to do to fix you.
8) Men Who Love Sports Way Too Much: There's a fine line between a great guy who loves sports and the raging maniac that loves sports way too much. How can you love sports TOO much? men might ask in befuddlement. For most women, it's obvious. A guy loves sports too much when they would rather watch a game than spend time with them.
THIS ONE WILL PREEEEEEEEEEEEACH!!!
9) Men Who Are Damaged and Like It: He's the guy who seems so sensitive and caring when you first meet. He's able to share with you the heartbreak of a broken relationship. You only find out after a few more encounters that he's still nursing a broken heart from the relationship he had with someone over ten years ago. You'll slowly realize that he's not so much heartbroken as committed to never caring about someone again. No matter how much time you spend together you can never get through. Face it, you never will. The padding around his heart (and his skull) is so thick a neutron bomb won't pierce through it. So, give up and get going. He's like a drippy faucet that slowly wears you down with false hope until you just want to smash it.
10) Men Who Are Always Pissing on Everything: You know the type: for him nothing you do is good enough. You're too stupid, you're too fat, you're too mouthy. Well, the truth is the guy is an idiot trained from his birth by his Neanderthal dad to piss all over you and everything you do. Avoid him like you would a pounding headache.
The Differences Between BOYS, DOGS and MEN
Keep scores in a relationship
Compare you with other women
Don't respect marriage
Use two heads
Have no respect for their mothers
Treat women like property
Protect their women
Provide for their women
Lead their women
Just in time for Thanksgiving (LOL)! A BIG OLE PLATE OF FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
Take it all in.