Thursday, November 3, 2011

"On Fire": The Benefit of the Broken Bottle (It's in the Lesson).

"If someone is lazy, the roof will begin to fall. If he doesn't fix it, the house will leak."---Ecclesiastes 10:18(NCV)

"The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining."---John Fitzgerald Kennedy

I hope this lil' parable will be a "warm fuzzy" for someone...

OK, so I'm growing my hair out, right? And trust me, that is a *major feat* in my world. Especially in this season of my life where *so much is transitioning* and, in times past, I would deal with it all with a pair of clippers! (LOL) Next month, it will be a year since I last shaved my head, and I have learned *a lot* about hair care since then (there are tons of natural hair care websites...I have really come to dig this chick a of late: click here).

Anyway, as I was ordering one of my personal hair products, I learned a valuable lesson.

I purchased it fairly early last month, I got an email on 10/20 telling me that it had shipped priority and yet...come 10/31, it still had not arrived ("trick or treat"...yeah, I know!). The first thing that came to mind? "I'm glad I didn't order it after my current supply had ran out." My second? "WHERE IS MY STUFF?!?"

The first self-statement reminded me of the *dire importance* that's related to living a life (as much as possible) well-prepared. Indeed, "First, finish your outside work and prepare your fields. After that, you can build your house." (Proverbs 24:27-NCV) The second? Well, it's what the customer service person said to me in response to my inquiry that was a "street light moment" for me:

"Yes. You should be receiving it on 11/2", he said casually.

"Why is it taking that long if it was shipped on 10/20 priority?" I pushed.

"We had to send you another because the first bottle broke," he replied.

I thought about that. 1) how *no one told me that had happened*. More importantly, though, 2) how it really is better to get a *whole* bottle than a *broken* one. EVEN IF/WHEN IT TAKES LONGER THAN EXPECTED.

And "ah ha!", therein lies the moral to this story.

It was further confirmed as I was reading an excerpt of a book entitled, "What's a Girl to Do While Waiting for Mr. Right?" (Janet L. Folger) In the chapter, "Dating Mr. Wrong", the author says this: 

"I was hurting. You know the feeling. So what did I do? I ran to the arms of my ex-fiance'. He was the only one I'd rather be with than this guy. The night I called him and told him I need to see him, I didn't know it, but he left his girlfriend sitting on the couch to come and comfort me. When he held me, all the hurt---broken relationships, broken friendships---was gone. After all, I had been loving this guy, wishing things were different, for well over a year after we broke up. He kissed me. The chemistry never even faded. As he pointed out, "The periodic table doesn't change." That was such a good line---it needed to be in print somewhere

It helped for a short while. The operative word being short. It was great while we were dancing and watching the sunset in Key West together and he was telling me I was the 'love of his life'. Not so great when he was backing away to spend time with his girlfriend---who had probably been sitting on his couch all the while. So now I felt the loss of not one boyfriend, but two. Great plan, huh?

That's the point where I was when I called my friend Mickey from the Christian Booksellers Convention. He tried to snap me out of it. 'Janet! This should be one of the happiest times of your life. You have a book! Do you know how many people would love to be where you are right now? And instead of being happy, you're crying in your hotel room over a relationship that isn't even worth the time of day.'

He was right, of course. But it doesn't feel like it when you can't get past the crippling pain to process things like facts and logic. I was able to stop crying long enough to do what I had to do there---and I had some very nice periods of distraction---but I couldn't wait to be alone again so that I could cry. If I were keeping score, I would say that, by and large, Satan won that round. 

But he doesn't have to. God is stronger.

Remember that."---"Dating Mr. Wrong", pg.82-83

Sometimes, when we're waiting for things (and either we're impatient with the process or are out making up "time fillers" to fill in the gap), we can also be tempted to think that Satan has won out. And yes, Janet's right. God is stronger. *All the time*.

It has been utterly amazing, the kinds of lessons that I am learning in this season---things that the Universe and the Creator of it (not necessarily in that order-LOL) are making *good and sure I learn* before jumping anybody's broom. One of the main ones is this: "You don't want a man that you have to fix. You want a man who is whole. And you better believe that you will be much happier if that is taken care of on the 'single woman-in-preparation side' of your wedding day. Just ask some of the wives that you know who, somewhat like your order, preferred collecting whatever good they could from a broken man rather than waiting the extra time required to get one, or get 'him', once he was whole."

Kinda makes me think of something I read in the book, "A Man Worth Waiting For: How to Avoid a Bozo" (Jackie Kendall): "...Bozos are bent on their wants and ways---they will ultimately reject anything that threatens their selfish lifestyles. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are doing all of the giving, compromising and sacrificing, you've found yourself a Bozo. Make no mistake: commitment-phobic guys will end up hurting you if you invest your heart in any of them." ("A Man Worth Waiting For"-pg. 204)

That'll preach! 50 sermons over.

If you're listening. And I hope that you are.

Well, I'm off to rub on my scalp. My shipment came in today!

If you're sensing that your man is "broken"...maybe this is a time to consider "giving him back" (turning him over to the Master Healer) for a season. (Just sayin'!) Sometimes we get what we paid for. Sometimes we settle for less.

Lech Lecha,


1 comment:

  1. Ohhh man, the Lord wanted to me to read that today. I've been struggling with revisiting a past relationship, purely out of loneliness and this just snapped me the heck out of it!! My man is worth the wait, as am I!! Thanks for the timely reminder!!