Thursday, November 17, 2011

"On Fire": Do You HAVE Feelings or CREATE Them?

"If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far."---Daniel Goleman

In spite of the fact that I can count on less than three fingers how many people I've ever seen that look like me on the show (or shoot, in the city of Seattle for that matter-LOL), I am indeed a "Fraiser" fan. While flicking through the channels not too long ago, I heard one of the characters on the show say, "Failure is a result, not a cause." That caused me to pause. And watch. Further.

As I listened to several of Fraiser's past loves "talk it out" with him, the first thing I thought was, "Hmph. Just another reason to guard your heart for THE ONE instead of A ONE. *Sometimes* a multitude of counsel is mistaken for a handful of confusion." The other? That this resolve was stellar (paraphrase): "You didn't HAVE feelings for Lana. You CREATED feelings for her."

Hmph. I wonder if we respect that power within ourselves: the power to not look at what things *are* but rather *create* them to be what we want them to be. At least momentarily. Sometimes in peaks of great neediness.

That led me to do some thinking about emotional awareness in general. There is a great article that I read earlier today that stated that the benefits in having it are so that you can:

Recognize who you are: what you like, what you don’t like, and what you need
Understand and empathize with others
Communicate clearly and effectively
Make wise decisions based on the things that are most important to you
Get motivated and take action to meet goals
Build strong, healthy, and rewarding relationships

I like how the first point focuses on *self* and the last one focuses on *others*. And, I don't know about you, but I definitely think that as we come to beginning of another Thanksgiving and the end of another calendar year, it's worth exploring the question:

"In matters of the heart, what do you HAVE? And what do you CREATE? ALL BY YOURSELF?"

Oh, and it really was a good "Fraiser" episode. You can check out the portion that I was referencing in this blog here:

Definitely some food for thought. About the "root" of our "trees" (Matthew 12:33).

Lech Lecha,


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