Sunday, January 1, 2012

"On Fire": 2012: May You Be Blessed with a Great Pair of Jeans and a Great Man!

Hey Ministers-in-Training...

Indeed, a new (calendar) year is upon us. I really can't believe just how fast time is moving. More and more, I am learning to *really* do just what Proverbs 27:1(NKJV) tells us to: "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth"; to embrace *each and every day* as a building block for the next...to not be so focused on what *could happen* or quite possibly *will happen* that I lose sight of what *is happening*: growth...change...transition...preparation.

As I was praying for the "On Fire"...um...team (LOL), I thought about an article that I recently read on one of my favorite websites, Aish.com. It's entitled, "Stuck in the Dating Desert". It's a Q&A format piece. Here's the question:

Dear Rosie & Sherry,

I’m at my wits end. I have been dating for many years, and I still haven't found my soul mate. (Or maybe I did, but he didn't think I was his.) Either way, I'm still single and very unhappy about it.

I've tried everything. I moved to New York. I got a makeover and take really good care of my looks and my health. I have joined several Jewish Internet dating services and have met with matchmakers. I've looked at my character traits and I have been working to improve those that need strengthening.

My therapist says that as long as I'm doing the right things, that should console me. I think that's crazy. Every time I do something positive, I go to bed feeling even worse. I live a productive life – I have a good job and my colleagues and students like me – but that doesn't stop me from thinking about this… all the time.

I find myself hating engaged people and newlyweds. I avoid them whenever possible. I don't have the strength to wish them mazel tov, and I've probably hurt many people's feelings because of this.

My friends say I should "get back on the horse" and go back on the Internet sites, but I think it’s a waste of time and money. I have no hope. And I don't like what I've become. I pray to God to help me find the right person, but I can't bear it any more. I don't know what else to do. Help!

Now, if this is something that you can relate to, I'll let you go to the link and check out their advice (they had some really good insights, by the way). However, I'll share with you what the Comforter---THE COMFORTER (John 14:16-AMP)---personally shared with me about it---about how to deal with feeling like you're either in a dating desert or just...alone in a desert. You know, kinda like the Israelites: knowing that what you've left behind is no good, believing that the Promised Land is real and ahead of you, but not really enjoying the desert experience. And why would you? Just by the very definition of the word, your feelings are fully justified: "any place lacking in something".

With the emotional roller coaster ride that I have been on for the past couple of years that culminated into a sickening thud of disappointment just days before my rebaptism last September, I must admit that I can relate to wanting to find some relief. I laughed when I *finally* got some via a (Riders by) Lee jeans commercial. It's what Stacy London says in the very beginning of it: "Wear what FITS and FLATTERS" that hooked me. I've seen it dozen of times, but for some reason, *on that particular day*, it struck a harmonious chord within. Indeed, there is nothing like getting a pair of jeans that fit and flatter. Not one or the other. *Both*.

If you've been following these postings long enough, then you know that I believe that the Spirit (John 4:24) speaks to me really closely to the way that I speak. *That said*, it was funny when I heard him say, "You've lost a few pounds. Get a new pair of jeans. And while you're looking for a pair that 'fit' and 'flatter', how about you commit to settling for no less when it comes to a man while you're at it." Man oh man! Have you looked up the definitions of "fit" and/or "flatter" lately?

Fit: (adj.) adapted or suited; appropriate; proper or becoming; qualified or competent, as for an office or function; PREPARED OR READY; in good physical condition; in good (spiritual) health; (v) to be of the right size or shape for; to adjust or make conform; to make qualified or competent

Flatter: to try to please by complimentary remarks or attention; to represent favorably (by approval and support); TO SHOW TO ADVANTAGE


The first point? Flatter has other definitions as well, ones that aren't so...well, flattering. Hence the need to reiterate the purpose of waiting on someone who doesn't *just* flatter, but fits you as well.

The second point? Observation and a bit of experience have taught me that just like a pair of ill-fitted jeans, some women are so desperate just to be with someone, that they are not even willing to see that the guy they are currently with (or wanting to be with) is *not* the right fit. He's not getting prepared for covenant, which means he's not even close to being ready *and* it doesn't really reflect that being with him is *holistically advantageous* for her.

Point three: A lot of times our prayer focus, as it relates to this matter, may not be to be joined to who's *fitting* or *flattering*. We want a companion, sure, but we're not asking the Lord to bless us with who is *appropriate*, *becoming*, *qualified for the office or function*...someone who will *represent us favorably*. And again, just like a pair of great fitting jeans, that doesn't usually happen overnight. It requires patience. It requires determination. It requires *really knowing yourself and being willing to observe from all angles* who is best for you. And who isn't. *And why*. It's about being with a man who is in good spiritual health, a man who is willing to make the necessary adjustments to be a responsible husband...a man who is the right size and shape in every relevant way. A MAN WHO IS A FITTING AND FLATTERING VESSEL TO BECOME ONE WITH (Genesis 2:24-25) US. AND IT'S ABOUT BEING THE KIND OF WOMAN WHO WILL NOT COMPROMISE UNTIL WE ARE BROUGHT TO HIM (Genesis 2:22).

All of that from a jeans commercial? Yep. Can you believe it (LOL)?

And so, this will be my prayer for all single women desiring covenant in 2012. That when someone asks, "So why aren't you married?" you can confidently say, "I'm waiting for the one who fits and flatters me."

Oh! And that in those desert times, you will hold this Scripture close to your head and heart; one that is speaking to the return of Christ, but being that Scripture often speaks to Christ being the groom coming to get us, his bride, I think is fitting. And flattering:

"Because we know that this extraordinary day is just ahead, we pray for you all the time—pray that our God will make you fit for what he's called you to be, pray that he'll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something. If your life honors the name of Jesus, he will honor you. Grace is behind and through all of this, our God giving himself freely, the Master, Jesus Christ, giving himself freely."---2 Thessalonians 1:11-12(Message)

Here's to walking in faith, walking in grace, walking in love. Towards something...*greater*.

Ahavah Shalom,

SRW


1 comment:

  1. How very appropriate! And I was just telling my girlfriend that I *needed* a new pair of jeans!!LOL

    ReplyDelete