Monday, March 26, 2012

"On Fire": Have You Ever Been *Properly* In Love?

“The bottom line is that we never fall for the person we're supposed to.”---Jodi Picoult

Hey Ladies...

So, as I was on a layover last night, I caught a bit of Piers Morgan's interview with lawyer, Gloria Allred and fellow attorney and television personality, Lisa Bloom. Now I was in an airport, multi-tasking, and so I'm not really sure what caused Piers to bring up the topic, but I did hear him ask Gloria something that caused my ears to perk up. After two painful marriages and divorces, he casually inquired, "Have you ever been properly in love?" Honestly? I didn't even wait for her answer. The question was blaring enough that I was like, "OK, I'll have to ponder that for myself and pen it for the ladies when I get back home."

You know, there's a lot to be said about "falling in love". Personally, the phrase ranks up there with, "I want the fairytale" or "I'm waiting for my Prince Charming" to me. Fairytales aren't real and the Bible tells us that we are to deal with reality (Ecclesiastes 7:18-Message). Prince Charmings? Well, unfortunately, those do somewhat exist. Here's what the Word, which is Adonai, has to say about that: "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." (Psalm 31:30-NKJV) And so when you hear about someone "falling in love" and then read quotes like what Jackie Collins had said about such an experience...maybe it's just me, but it sounds more like being e-motion sick than being in a healthy frame of mind...and heart...and soul:

“Falling in love is like getting hit by a truck and yet not being mortally wounded. just sick to your stomach, high one minute, low the next. Starving hungry but unable to eat. Hot, cold, forever horny, full of hope and enthusiasm, with momentary depressions that wipe you out.

It is also not being able to remove the smile from your face, loving life with a mad passionate intensity, and feeling ten years younger.

Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what's happening. It's inevitable. An event you can't control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course.”(Jackie Collins)

Starving. Horny (*forever horny*?!? Hmph.). Sick. Momentarily depressed. Uncontrollable and crazy.

This is what we're to expect with a love relationship? *Is. It. Really?*

On this side of healthy, I reply with an emphatic "No!" And while I'm still working on being able to fully articulate how being in love *should be* (other than godly and *mutual*), God works in mysterious ways. Piers provided a big piece to the love puzzle.


Proper: adapted or appropriate to the purpose or circumstances; fit; suitable; conforming to established standards of behavior or manners; correct or decorous; fitting; right; strictly belonging or applicable; belonging or pertaining exclusively or distinctly to a person, thing, or group

I've been in the Garden of Eden for awhile now. I love how Joel 2:3(NKJV) says that, "The land is like the Garden of Eden before them, and behind them a desolate wilderness." It was Genesis 2:18(AMP) where God said, "It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him." Yeah, I'll have to let some of my male friends know that it's *not sufficient* for a lot of them to be alone; that without the help of their helpmate, their lives are not (love this!) "adequate for the purpose", what they're settling for is not "enough". So many men are falling for the thief's (John 10:10) deception that they can get *more* accomplished *without* a wife, when the truth is that they can get *exceeding above* (Ephesians 3:20) what they thought they could if they would just open their hearts to receive such a blessing. After all, women did not come up with the wife concept, God did and every good and perfect gift comes from him (James 1:17). 


Anyway, back to the part that's truly relevant to us, when the Lord said that he would make a helpmate, did you catch what one of her defining characteristics was to be? She was to be *suitable*. Suitable is one definition for proper. When you're suitable, you're "appropriate", you're "fitting", you're "becoming". 

*When you're appropriate, you're "fitting to a particular purpose, person, occasion, etc." (not *some* people, but *a  particular person*). 

*When you're fitting, you're (LOVE THIS!) "qualified or competent, as for an office or function"; you're "prepared or ready"; you're (catch it!) "in good physical condition; in good health". 

*When you're becoming, you're "that [which] suits or gives a pleasing effect or attractive appearance, as to a person or thing" (I sooooooo love that God wants us to be *mutually attracted* with our mates!)

And when you're in a love relationship, all of this is supposed to be evident; ALL OF THIS is to apply.

I don't know if Piers Morgan meant to, but that question preached a Sunday evening sermon (LOL)! When you think about the fact that the Most High does things *decently* first and *orderly* second (I Corinthians 14:40),  perhaps this will let a couple of you off the hook when it comes to hanging on to past brokenhearted wounds (Psalm 147:3). If there's someone in your past or current life that you are holding a torch for, it's darn near burning you alive and yet you keep telling yourself, "But I fell in love with him" or "We were so in love", look back over those definitions and ask yourself this question: "But we were in love...*properly*?"

There have been many dresses and many a pair of shoes that I "fell in love with" when it came to how they looked. They stayed on the racks and shelves, though. Why? *Because they didn't fit properly*. And you know what? You tend to get over things *much quicker* (and easier) when you accept that what doesn't fit, doesn't really work.

You deserve to be in loved, ladies. Mutually. Wholeheartedly. And PROPERLY.



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