I was reading an article a second ago that listed eight things that make up a healthy relationship and I thought that they were, yeah...pretty healthy. This one right here especially caught my eye:
7. Individual self-worth: You each have a sense of self-worth that is separate from, though supported by, your relationship. In a healthy, happy relationship, partners don’t have to choose between feeling close and being able to be themselves.
INDIVIDUAL SELF-WORTH is so important. There are so many of us that claim to be single, but if we're not dating someone, we're newly out of a relationship or about to enter into one with someone else (or we're mentally obsessing over someone). When it comes to filing your taxes, that may equate to having a true single status, but somehow, I don't think that when God created us a *single beings*, that is what he had in mind.
Being single is about being able to really be *by yourself* to get to really *know yourself*. When a person takes that seriously, that is a blessed season in their life because when you can really understand who you are, then there's a greater clarity on who will be a better complement for you---who will really be able to, after marriage, dwell with you according to understanding (How can "he" be clear when you're not even sure?-I Peter 3:7).
And so, as I was downloading the list into my psyche, I thought about the guest blog that I just posted on X3Church.com this evening that a male friend of mine penned entitled, "Be the Adult in the Room". I asked him to write a piece about what Christian guys who get to have sex with Christian girls before marriage *really think* about them. The entire piece is good (you can check it out here), yet I wanted to share this part especially:
If you want a Christian man to one day be your Christian husband, remember this if nothing else: Christian men want strong women. It’s true that in a moment of weakness, they might smash, but when it’s time to ‘put a ring on it,’ you’re not the one they want. They want the strong woman that professed Christ into their lives from the beginning. They want the woman that was down for them by loving them, not by acquiescing to their carnal desire. You want to be the woman that eventually gets the ring, not the one that gets to watch her man leave at 2:00 am because he’s feeling guilty about what he just did and their relationship doesn’t go any farther.
I thought about that because I thought, "If you're not strong enough to be alone, how can you be strong enough to be in a relationship?" More and more, I'm leery of women who don't like being by themselves because it sends *huge red flags* that if don't like being with you, why should anyone else?
ONE OF THE GREATEST INDICATIONS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE ELSE IS THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE WITH YOURSELF.
And you're not "proving that" going---physically, mentally or emotionally---from guy-to-guy all of the time. That's not being single...that's being desperate and anxious. A woman high in self-worth has no reason (*or need*) to be either.
Well, I'm gonna get off of here to pen a devo, but I will be keeping everyone in prayer about this very issue.
Be strong in your own self-worth, *single (whole) ladies*...