Thursday, April 19, 2012

An Ounce of Prevention: "Don't Marry Out of Fear"

Well...

In the middle of a semi-impromptu counseling session on yesterday, *yet again*, I was listening to someone say, "I think I did it while ignoring the warning signs because I thought [my spouse] would change."

AND THIS TIME IT WAS A GUY SAYING IT.

Anyway, as I was reading an article this morning entitled, "Why Women Marry the Wrong Men", I thought this was worth sharing:

She believes that listening to your gut and knowing when to walk away comes from the ability to see ourselves.

"It's about how to know yourself well enough to know what you're looking for," she says. "It's the self-awareness to know what you contribute to the success of failure of that [relationship] and having the self-confidence to stand on your own two feet rather than fall into a bad relationship."

As for the fear of being alone forever, Fletcher points out that "for well-being, mental and physical health, all the statistics show that you're better off alone than in a bad marriage."


Oh and as for the five main reasons why women ignore all of this and jump the broom anyway?

1. We've dated for so long I don't want to waste all the time we have invested in the relationship.


2. I don't want to be alone.


3. He'll change after we get married.


4. It is too late, too embarrassing and/or too expensive to call off the wedding
.

5. He is a really nice guy; I don't want to hurt his feelings.

And the root of all of these? FEAR. And what does the Word tells us about fear as it relates to love? That they don't relate:

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."---I John 4:18(NKJV)

Can you *imagine* how many bad marriages wouldn't even exist if people took this verse both seriously and literally? If people *respected* the fact that the Lord has told them that if there is fear in their love relationship then it's not a healthy love relationship at all?

Definitely something to think about...*beforehand*.

tmm,

SRW


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