Saturday, July 7, 2012

An Ounce of Prevention: "20 Red Flags That Tell the Truth"


In reading an article with the title of this blog, the first "red flag" was *so good* thought I thought it was worth listing all 20 of 'em: 

Know Where You Stand: If you need to contemplate whether or not you’re a guy’s girlfriend, you probably aren’t. And if your “dates” with him consist solely of booze and booty calls, you're not actually in a relationship.

(Of course, if more of us spent time *not laying down*, we would understand *where we stand* far easier!)

Understand His Intentions

Watch His Morning-After Etiquette
(and yes, I know some people needed this one for where they are)

Take a Hint

Never Trust a Cheater

Beware the Momma's Boy

Make Sure He Puts in Some Effort:
If a guy can pick up a phone and send you a text, surely he can use the same phone and call you with it. A man who can’t be bothered to actually talk to you isn’t worth wasting your time on.

Watch His Spending Habits

Listen to Your Friends

Check His Ex Factor

Look at His Past

Get to Know His Family:
How your guy’s close relatives behave and interact with each other could indicate who he really is, as well as explain how he got that way. The apple usually doesn't fall all that far from the family tree.

Read Between the Lines:
A guy who’s got marriage — to you — on the brain will eventually start speaking in we’s. If your man says “when I get married” rather than “when we get married,” he’s not thinking about anything long-term.

Don’t Stand for Demands

Ditch a Loser User

Beware the Control Freak

Read the Subtext

Stand Your Ground

Check His Attitude: Inconsiderate and insensitive behavior during the so-called honeymoon phase of a relationship are red flags. Your guy’s not going to suddenly start treating you better once the excitement and newness wears off.

Good stuff. And speaking of *red flags*...

I also loved this article's title. Particularly due to its title: "Top 10 Comments Men Make Which Should Piss Women Off…If We Weren’t So Desperate" (LOL) and these three particular tidbits in general:

2. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” This is a tricky phrase, especially if you do not know what you want. If you’re honest with yourself and you know you want to be in a relationship, do not be softened by the “right now.” Every moment lived is lived “right now.” Understand if he doesn’t want a relationship with you, his “right now” may be as long as you know him. No matter what you do, or how good you do it, forcing someone to be in a relationship with you is the same as building a jail. Do it and you’ll find you’re dating an escape artist.

8. “I ain’t gotta be your man, you ain’t gotta be my girl…” I ain’t gotta be a chicken, you ain’t gotta be a cow. What does this mean? Are we listing all of the things we don’t have to be? ‘Cause that can take forever. Let’s skip to what we are. I am a woman. The question is, are you my man? If the answer is yes, we need to work on our communication skills. If you are not, the rest of this conversation is moot.

10. “I’m not good enough for you” or “You’re too good for me.” When a man understands this truth, this is the most honest thing he will ever admit. You got to believe him. It is not a backhanded compliment. It is not a zen koan. A man will step up his game when he is inclined to compete. But, he will not participate in every game he sees. So, when he discloses to you that he doesn’t want to play, it is time to head off the field. It’s not a “foul.” It is just a clear, and kind, indication this isn’t the team you should suit up for. When you know you are a first-draft pick, you don’t consent to being someone’s last choice.

Please excuse the cuss words if you decide to read all of the copy. I didn't find it on Christianity Today. ;-)



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