Saturday, October 20, 2012

"On Fire": Are You a Footnote in Someone Else's Love Story?

"As an apricot tree stands out in the forest, my lover stands above the young men in town. All I want is to sit in his shade, to taste and savor his delicious love. He took me home with him for a festive meal, but his eyes feasted on me!"---Song of Solomon 2:3-4(Message)

OK. This is good, y'all! God always is.

I recently heard someone say, "I'm tired of being the footnote in someone else's love story."

Immediately, I got it! I used to say, often, that I was *so sick* of being the woman who always seemed to prepare a man for his wife. You know the drill: Like in the movie When Harry Met Sally, Sally finds out that the guy that she was living with and wouldn't propose to her, got with someone else and proposed to that person six months after breaking up with Sally, only for Sally to have the "light bulb moment" of "It wasn't that he didn't want to get married. It's that he didn't want to marry me."

We really do have to watch our words, because the Word tells us that there is life and death in them (Proverbs 18:21). And so, while my declaration of "Oh, so I'm the chick that prepares you for your wife? Is that it?" may have been somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy, the *real reality* (Ecclesiastes 7:18-Message) is that it was probably more like I attracted those kinds of men into my "deceived heart space" (Jeremiah 17:9): projects rather than guys who actually desired to be married (one) and to be married to me (two).

*There's nothing like feeling that kind of an ouch!*

It's kind of like in a more recent film, 500 Days of Summer, when...shoot, how about I just share it:

The entire 5 1/2 minute dialogue is great. What I'm referring to, in particular, though, is this part of it:

Tom: "You never wanted to be anybody's girlfriend and now you're somebody's wife."

Summer: "It surprised me too."

Tom: "I don't think I'll ever understand that. I mean, it doesn't make sense."

Summer: "It just happened."

Tom: "Right. But that's what I don't understand. What just happened?"

Summer: "I just...I just woke up one day and I knew."

Tom: "Knew what?"

Summer: "What I was never sure of with you."

*Sure love*. Someone should preach a sermon on *that* alone because there is *nothing* like being loved by someone who is sure. Sure of their love for God, sure of their love for themselves and sure of their love for you. As a matter of fact, a big part of the reason why we can freely abound in God is because he is sure of his love for us. That's why he can say things like, "'Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you'" as he did to Jeremiah in chapter 31 and verse 3 or how he can say to all of us now, "'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" (Hebrews 13:5) Oh, how *well* could our hearts be protected (Proverbs 4:23) if we only decided to wait on the kind of love from a godly man who was *sure* of how he felt. A man who is *sure* that he is ready to be a provider, protector, example and priest of the home that he wants to build with us and *no one else*.

I think that's why the "footnote" reference resonated with me so. When we're out here trying to *make love happen* as opposed to *letting love manifest*, we can find ourselves being all up in someone else's "love story"---one that we really have no business being a part of. And yes, as a direct result, we usually are not *the main character* but really nothing more than "a minor or tangential comment or event added or subordinated to a main statement or more important event".

That's why I think the lead quote for today is so divine. It's because the more that I honor the fact that marriage is a *union of spirits* that the flesh merely benefits from (and not the other way around), the more I see how important it is for me to *guard, preserve and prepare* my spirit so that it can continue to grow into the kind of woman that my husband will both want and need. I don't have to see him to know he's around in my space. That's what faith in *the Spirit* (John 4:24) is all about: "the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things *not seen*" (Hebrews 11:1). In many ways, our spirits already know one another. The flesh meeting is just a *culmination* of that fact, not the beginning of the journey. However, the more I go after what *I see*, the more "static in the lines" that I present for me and my spiritual connection with "him" because "footnotes", at the end of the day, while there may be lessons that come from them, they really are not much more than some nice scenery on a good day and a huge distraction on a bad one.

We are daughters of the Most High (Psalm 82:6). We are a part of a royal priesthood (I Peter 2:9). Do you really not think that God has *your own love story in which you can be the main female character in it*? That's a part of what's so hot about the Shulamite woman in Song of Solomon. She wasn't like all of the drama that Sarai and Hagar (Genesis 16) or even Rachel and Leah (Genesis 29) when through. No, if you read Song of Solomon, she was *the main character*. Every praise, every declaration, even promise was made to her and her alone. Why? Because it was *her own love story*.


That's what I'll be praying that we all pray for.

After all, love is *best* when love is *sure*.

Wow...makes me think of an Usher song from back in the day (his own "main character" take---LOL):



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