Friday, October 26, 2012

"On Fire": A Deeper Look into MASTURBATION (and a Call to a Fast Concerning It)


"Sex is God’s idea. It is His blessing to husbands and wives. It is His provision for making children, increasing intimacy, and providing pleasure to married couples whom He loves. Take a brief moment today to thank Him for sex.:---Hot, Holy and Humorous, "Are You Thankful for Sex?"

"Too many of us have virtually no respect for what a husband really needs, but we have unlimited respect for our own needs. And we’re not only hurting our husbands–we’re hurting ourselves."---To Love, Honor and Vacuum, "Why He Won’t Meet Your Needs"


I went to bed at like 9pm last night and so I should've known something was coming. ;-)

And here we are...

A lot of you know that I work with a ministry for those dealing with porn and sexual addiction and so the subject of masturbation comes up *quite a bit*. It's amazing the kind of "arguments" (Colossians 2:8) that are given in the defense of it (far too many to even get into on here, but feel free to peruse the site sometime, if you'd like). As a woman who has made it absolutely no secret that masturbation used to be a close and intimate "drug" of mine (James 5:16), I get why it's something that people *wish* was a gray area. But honestly, it's really not. There are a few reasons why.

1) Sex was meant for a husband and a wife. Period. There are no variations to that formula that are spiritually relevant. Not you and your fiance'. Not you and your boyfriend. Not you and another woman. *Not you and yourself*. I quote the Message Version of I Corinthians 6:16 quite a bit because it's extremely profound and powerful: "There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, 'The two become one.'" There are two great points right here: One is that sex is not just about the physical act (or feeling or release). Sex is also *a spiritual mystery*. We have to remember that Adonai, Christ and the Holy Spirit agreeing as one is a *spiritual relationship* (I John 5:8) and that as the first quote mentions (although Satan *so wants us to ignore or forget* it), *God* created sex. God is Spirit (John 4:24) so sex comes from a *spiritual place*. So, being that the Godhead agrees *as one*, there would have to be some kind of act that could join our physical vessels *as one* and so the Lord came up with a mind-blowing concept known as sex. More specifically, "yahasey min" which is Hebrew for "sexual relations" between a married couple. A husband and a wife are to *relate to one another by becoming one with one another through sexual activity*. This brings us to the second point. Whether you've had sex before or not, I'm pretty confident that you know how sex works. Therefore, when you think about how a man's body *is created* to enter into a woman's body, when someone is *inside of you*, physically, it can't get much more "one" than that. So, when the Word, which is Adonai (John 1:1), declares that "two become one"---*every single time* that a married couple has sex, that is a *blessing* that God is speaking forth about their marriage. Every time a *married couple* has sex, he is saying, "This couple that I have joined together is reflecting the Godhead by joining as one in the physical so that I can reveal to them certain mysteries in the spirit." (Just wow, Holy Spirit!-Luke 12:12)

2) Orgasms have a *sacred* purpose. I have been quite fond of Tim Alan Gardner's book, Sacred Sex for quite some time now. It came into my life right around the time that I was ready to take abstinence a bit more seriously. Anyway, there is a chapter in the book entitled, "The 'Big O' Is Not Orgasm" and I recommend you get it if for no other reason than that chapter alone. Orgasms are to be respected. One thing that Mr. Gardner says about them is this: "And if just holding hands with our mates can give us a thrill, just imagine what sacred sex can do! At the point of orgasm for both women and men during sexual intercourse, each partner must abandon control of their own orgasm to their partner at the same time they feel most vulnerable. That is why people who struggle with control issues and with trusting their mate often struggle with achieving orgasm; they will always be on guard, not abandoning themselves to the love and care of the other. But it is in that gift of abandoning control to our mates and trusting them in our most vulnerable state that the full union of oneness is most deeply experienced. It is there that we find sacred sex at its most powerful manifestation. The extreme intensity of the orgasmic experience is due to the fact that it is had with our God-given mate. That, by God's design, is a truly powerful experience, indeed." (pg.55) An orgasm, just by its very dictionary definition is "the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the peak of sexual excitation, usually resulting from stimulation of the sexual organ and usually accompanied in the male by ejaculation". An orgasm is meant to *physically* and *emotionally* connect you to your partner. Satan is such a Liar (John 8:44) and a thief (John 10:10) because what he tells us is that if we masturbate, it's not "as bad" as participating in fornication or adultery (Hebrews 13:4) when I think most people miss the main focus here: Sex is not just about the physical act or the physical consequences. Again, *sex is spiritual* and so when we, especially as women, masturbate there are two main problems with it: One, Philippians 4:8 tells us to think on pure and noble and *praiseworthy* things *at all times* and I don't know *one woman* who doesn't fantasize while masturbating. Shoot, that said, 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to *cast down imaginations* that exalt themselves above God. When we are thinking about *anyone other than our partner* in order to be sexually aroused, we are dishonoring both of these Scriptures. There is *nothing* praiseworthy about lusting after someone we are not in covenant with. Therefore, masturbation does just what Romans 13:14 tells us not to do: It makes provision for the flesh. The other point is this: When we do it to achieve an orgasm (because I don't know *any woman* who does it for *any other reason*), it is mimicking the *true purposes* of one: to be totally vulnerable with our covenant mate, to celebrate that with a peak of excitement *with them* and to *complete the sexual act* with our partner. Orgasms signify the completion of the sexual experience with our partner! Did you see how in the dictionary definition it spoke to a man ejaculating (hopefully inside of his partner)? That plays a real role in the orgasm journey. Their bodies become one, their emotions become one and when his sperm enters into his wife, *life* takes place: sometimes by conceiving a child (Malachi 2:15-NCV) and sometimes in a "mysterious spirit realm" that only the Lord can reveal. When we decide to take an orgasm "into our own hands", we have decided to *mishandle* its true purpose. The feeling of an orgasm is to simply let a husband and wife know that something within the spirit realm, something that is so big and so beautiful and so powerful, has taken place. And why is it a mystery? Well, have you ever tried to explain how an orgasm makes you feel? Exactly.

3) As single women, our bodies don't belong to us, but God. As married women, our husbands are to be the "sexual experts" of our pleasure *not us*. This is Scriptural. I Corinthians 6:19-20(NKJV) says, "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." Yeah. The people who do not think that masturbation is also considered to be a sexually immoral act (I Corinthians 6:18, 7:2, 10:8, I Thessalonians 4:8), I would *love* to know if they ask God if it's OK that they do it before they engage---I mean, being that it's *his body in the first place*. Being that the Lord created us and being that he created sex and being that sex is a physical representation of making us one with our covenant partners, why would God cosign on self-stimulation? The New Century Version of I Corinthians 13:5 tells us that "Love is not selfish" and masturbation is pretty selfish. *I* need an orgasm. *I* am hormonal. *I* need to find an "in the meantime" to "hold me over". Sex was never meant to be about just one person. It has *always* been, the eyes of God, a "spiritual collaboration". That brings us to the next point. I Corinthians 7:4(NKJV) says, "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." Yep. We go from our bodies belonging to the Lord to our husband's having authority over them. I have yet to see *one Scripture* that speaks to us being able to do whatever we want. That's another problem with masturbation: it takes the focus off of God *and* our future partners and puts it where the Word never says that it should be (sexually): ourselves. Some people take issue with the word "authority". I don't. I've been living with my body for a long time now. I'm looking forward to having authority over someone else's (LOL). But the bigger point is this: Did you know that one definition of authority is "confidence resulting from great expertise"? LOVE. THAT!!! When a husband and wife are joined together *by God* (Matthew 19:6), God gives the man "confidence resulting from great expertise" re: how to please his wife (same goes for the wife as it relates to her husband). So, whenever we masturbate, it's *such a settling way to go* because God is basically looking at us (which should also make us want to stop doing it) like, "You don't even get it. You don't have the expertise to please yourself. Your husband does." That's one thing that is sad about people who masturbate in marriage. They rob themselves of the divine authority that their partner has been given, *by God*, to please them. Authority that they simply do not (and won't) have. (That's another problem with fornication as well; those men don't have that authority, either. No wonder I Corinthians 7:23 tells us that we were bought with a price and that we should not be slaves among men.)

God is awesome! So with that breakdown, here's the deal:

I know that to a lot of people, admitting that they masturbate is like admitting that they listened to *NSYNC back in the day (LOL)...they are embarrassed and yet, that's *another red flag* about why people shouldn't be doing it. Sex was *never* to be something that people were to be ashamed about. God is light, there is no darkness in him at all (I John 1:5) and so that means that sex is to be luminous as well. We are happy when newlyweds come home from their honeymoon and *they had sex*. We are excited when married people get pregnant and *they also had sex*. If you are hiding or lying about your sexual acts, that's *darkness*. That's a problem. You're not being "private". You are being *disobedient*.

I have such a sense within me that some *real breakthroughs* are going to happen in the upcoming months and that more and more women need to be preparing their vessels to receive what (and who) Adonai has in store for them! For that reason, I am led to call a masturbation fast because, as most of us know, James 5:16(AMP) says, "Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]." Satan *hates* confession and we see why. It brings forth healing and when people are praying for one another, supernatural power is made available.

I am not going to provide the particulars about the fast on here. I want to respect people's privacy and honestly, the fast is going to work best for those who *stepped out on the faith of God's Word* and made a confession to begin with. That said, though, if you see yourself in this and you want to get *fully and finally free* from masturbation's stronghold, send me an email ( The fast will officially begin on Thursday, November 1 and so you have time to pray over it and let me know.

Oh and feel free to pass this along if for no other reason than what the Holy Spirit shared about masturbation's trappings. I penned it and I'm still trippin' over it! (LOL)



1 comment:

  1. I feel like I need to prepare myself in some kind of way before I start trying to stop masturbating. I can feel it, strongly feel it that masturbation will be hard to quit. I've been doing this since I was a little girl. I want to stop, but I feel like later on this want will go away and I'll be back doing it and feeling bad all over again.