Sunday, December 23, 2012

"On Fire": EXCERPT OF THE DAY


The entire article is *stellar*, but I wanted to share this part as a teaser:


"If you feeling rejected is about the other person’s behavior / feelings which belong to them, they’re not rejecting you.

If you feeling rejected is about this person not being or doing what you expected, wanted, or needed in spite of you engaging in people pleasing behavior, they’re still not rejecting you because you weren’t being you anyway. How can somebody reject who you are and were, if you weren’t being this anyway? It’s like being angry at someone for not accepting a misrepresentation of you.

If you feeling rejected is about you deciding that this person has the power to determine your worth or giving away power to get them to love you or because you don’t want to basically own your own and step up, they’re still not rejecting you. You’re giving this person the power and it is you who has decided that the meaning of whatever they’ve been and done is a negative indicator of your worth, but self-worth like self-esteem has the word ‘self’ in it for a reason – because it comes from you so you actually have a choice about how you choose to value you and you don’t have to give people power that they don’t have a right to. Have you noticed that you can’t go around telling people what their worth is? And that’s not because of your own worth; it’s because it’s not your place and you don’t have that power and neither does this person who you’ve granted this level of authority to.

If you feeling rejected is based on a foundation of false beliefs, they’re still not rejecting you because if you were being more realistic and truthful, that rejection would change, shrink, and possibly even disappear. Even what you might feel is a ‘small’ element of distortion can cause rejection to hang around for a long time. If there’s high self-blame, you’re not being truthful. Fact. If you were, you’d own your own and let them own theirs.

The impact of rejection is wholly and solely driven by what happens between the event or a person’s behavior / what they say and your interpretation and any judgment(s) that you make about you.

What makes rejection take on a life of its own is feeding it with our judgment of ourselves. We could kill a rejection stone cold if only we’d pour some reality and self-compassion on it."---Give Yourself The Gift of Self-Compassion: Stop Judging You & The Rejection Will Subside

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