Monday, May 28, 2012

"On Fire": QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Leftovers" was *just* talking about this, right?


Stories become nightmares when we don't let them have their proper ending.

tmm,

SRW

Saturday, May 26, 2012

"On Fire": LEFTOVERS


You know...

Back in my drama/dramatic days (I've been in recovery for a hot minute now---Praise Adonai!), I used to feed off of The Young and the Restless. Genoa City was a trip. If you stuck with the show long enough (a year or so), eventually everyone would sleep with everyone...*literally*.

Honestly, Nashville isn't much different. It's an industry town filled with gifted broken people who seem to be drawn to other gifted broken people. *No matter how many degrees of separation there are.* That's why I think that quote tickled me so. It just oozed with sarcasm...and honesty. On so many levels, I got it.

But this message isn't about dating/sleeping/not knowing what you're doing with someone who has been in that exact same scenario with more than a few people that you may personally know. No, this message is about one word in that quote that the Spirit inspired me to pen this week for the "On Fire" gals.

Leftovers. LEFT. OVERS.

It's such a "ying yang" kind of word. On one hand, leftovers aren't always *so bad*. Growing up, if your mom made a meal and if you liked it, knowing that there would be some *leftover* for the next night was pretty cool. On the flip side, if it was something that you didn't enjoy, knowing that it was awaiting you beyond that one dinner was enough to make you dread the entire next day.

So, when the Lord brought "leftover" into my psyche, especially as it relates to this blog, I wasn't quite sure what he had up his sleeve (you know, if he actually wore any). Oh, but then I looked up the definitions of the word and it got a bit clearer:

Leftover: (noun) Usually, leftovers. food remaining uneaten at the end of a meal, especially when saved for later use; (adj.) anything left or remaining from a larger amount; remainder; left as an unused portion or remnant

Then I thought about a sitcom that I saw once upon a time in which one of the women said, "I can't believe this. I'm picking at my own leftovers." (She meant going back over and over to the same person and kind of person, at that!) I started piecing it all together, but I needed one more part of the puzzle. Boy, was it a doozy!

"If you ladies are *really going to trust me*, then you have to process relationships like MANNA from heaven. Keep what I want you to keep. Get rid of the leftovers when I tell you to get rid of those too. *And exactly when I tell you to do it*."

Whew! 'Cause here's the thing. If you revisit the story of the Israelites and manna found in Exodus 16, you will see that there were *very specific instructions* that they were given on how to handle what was defined in verse 31 (Message) as "The Israelites named it manna (What is it?). It looked like coriander seed, whitish. And it tasted like a cracker with honey." Anyway, check out (or revisit) this part of the story:


"So Moses told them, 'It's the bread God has given you to eat. And these are God's instructions: "Gather enough for each person, about two quarts per person; gather enough for everyone in your tent."'
 

The People of Israel went to work and started gathering, some more, some less, but when they measured out what they had gathered, those who gathered more had no extra and those who gathered less weren't short—each person had gathered as much as was needed.

Moses said to them, 'Don't leave any of it until morning.'

But they didn't listen to Moses. A few of the men kept back some of it until morning. It got wormy and smelled bad. And Moses lost his temper with them."---Exodus 16:15-20(Message) 

One of the main things that I've been praying for as it relates to the "On Fire" women, as of late, is that they get "free from the ties that bind" so-to-speak. That they look at the *truth*, *the reality*, of the situations that they are in without doing the kind of fantasizing that they have manipulated into believing is faith. Why? Because *the truth* (John 8:32) is that there are so many of us who *can't get on to God's best* because we're still hoarding our past: *our seasonal past*. 

In all honesty, some people have not been "manna" but *quail* in the sense that God didn't *bless* us with the person. *We demanded him* (Psalm 106:15). But there are other individuals that the Lord sent our way for one purpose and we tried to make it be for something else. As a direct result, either we got what we needed, lesson wise, in the relationship *or* in hindsight, we realize that the Most High was still merciful and taught us some things on the back end.. All in all, we got what we needed and now the time is now up. It's time to *fully let go* and yet...we're still hanging onto the leftovers. *Now* the thing that was once to be *beneficial for us*, because we're still hanging on, is just like that manna was for the Israelites when they didn't release it. It's wormy and smelling bad...no longer of good use.

WHEN WE HOLD ONTO THINGS PAST THEIR SEASON (PERSON, PLACE, THING OR IDEA), THEY ARE NO LONGER OF GOOD USE TO US. *EVEN IF THEY WERE INITIALLY*. 

I thought about this *even deeper* when I read that Adonai-inspired instruction that Moses gave to the Israelites when he said, "Don't leave any of it until morning." And then I thought about a lot of our own versions of manna in the form of "MAN-NA" and how so many are still hanging and holding,yet wondering why they're still "emotionally nauseated". Have you ever eaten something that's spoiled? It was once good, but it's expired now. Food past its time is unhealthy. Relationships past their time are as well.


Most of the Israelites' entire life journey was about fear (so much so that many of them *died in the wilderness* and never saw the Promised Land-take heed!). It was God who sent manna from heaven in the first place and so truly if he said to let it go, *he knew what he was doing*. If in sending us life lessons, in the form of MAN-NA, in preparation for our beloved that is to come, the Lord says "LET IT GO", why would we think that his wisdom is any less profound? After all, "'For I am the Lord, I do not change'" (Malachi 3:6-NKJV) He was providing people *just what they need when they needed it* back then and he's still doing it now (Philippians 4:19).


You know, there was an exception on the manna tip. On a day like today, on the Seventh-Day Sabbath, he told them to gather some the day before and that it would not spoil. And yet, you know what's a trip about that? Manna was to be held over so that they could *rest*. The point? Even if in your spirit (IN YOUR SPIRIT, NOT YOUR FLESH), you're feeling like the season isn't over, if you're in a state of anxiety in your meantime, then that's your cue that you're still hoarding and not fully hearing from the Lord because if God is in it, there will be peace that's present.

The Most High is divine because I have been thinking to sit down and pen this all day. But as another Shabbat is coming to an end and day is turning into night, how fitting that, to some of us, the Lord would say, "That relationship---whether literally or as it relates to the memories of it---that you've been hoarding, let it go. Don't leave any of it until morning. I have other provisions in mind, things that are to fill up that space---*abundantly*."

For some of you, if you take this to heart, *if you know the Lord is speaking to your heart*, this is going to be a long night/night season for you. But there are three Scriptures that I want you to hold close:

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."---Ecclesiastes 3:11(NKJV)

"The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit."---Ecclesiastes 7:8(NKJV) 


"For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning."---Psalm 30:5(NKJV)

You deserve a fresh and full romantic experience.

Please...*stop picking at the leftovers.* 


tmm,

SRW

"On Fire": Men Get Inspired *on Their Own*...WHEN THEY'RE READY

OK...

Y'all know I'm not in social media and seeing how many hits this has gotten *in just three days*, I'm sure some of you have already seen it. And while there is a mili-second of it that gets the major side-eye, I do like this because it reminds me of what a man is capable of when *he's ready to propose*...when he's *ready to get married*.



Cute enough, indeed.

DON'T. SETTLE.

tmm,

SRW

Thursday, May 24, 2012

"On Fire": QUOTE OF THE DAY


I am so glad that Lifetime has The Conversation. It's like a mini-version of Intimate Portrait from back in the day. Anyway, as I'm braiding up my hair from the night, I was watching actress Gabourey Sidibe speak on how she finds her sense of self-worth and I *absolutely loved it* when she said this:

"I'm the only consistent person in my life, so I'd better like myself. I'd better love myself."


I also dug it when she said:


"My brand of self-esteem doesn't come from any outside source. It's the kind you can only find within yourself."


That's some good stuff right there.


tmm, 

SRW

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

An Ounce of Prevention: "The #1 Reason for Marriage Problems"

I sooooo dig rabbis. I've learned some of the most utterly profound things from them.

Anyway, this one I thought was so good that it needed to be posted:


It made me think of a man I talked to a few months ago. He and his wife had been married over 55 years and he said to me, "You know what's wrong with you women today? You choose irresponsible men."

Some of the hardest things for us to grasp are actually the simplest.

tmm,

SRW

Sunday, May 20, 2012

"On Fire": QUOTE OF THE DAY

I know a lot of you feel this way...



Let your love for *the kind of relationship that you deserve to have* supersede your fear of being alone.

tmm,

SRW

"On Fire": A Woman Is to Be WELL-RECEIVED

 "Then he said, 'Blessed are you of the Lord, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman."---Ruth 3:10-11(NKJV)

"Men, who care, will care. This is the first rule to remember."---Greg Wendland


There's a relatively new program on TV One called Love Addiction. I checked out the first couple of episodes because relationships and therapy are two things that tend to hold my attention. Long story short, I can't tell you the last...*anything on television* (that's new) that I've watched consecutively (honestly, I kept TV One to watch Unsung from time to time and reruns of A Different World, so this was a pleasant surprise).

Anyway, there was one episode, in particular, in which a woman's "boyfriend" was *totally inattentive*. So much to the point that (what?!?) *when her father died*, although he told her that he was on his way to console her, he (come again?!?) remained in the music studio to write what, *ironically*, sounded like a love song.

As the therapist assigned to the situation was speaking on the matter, he said a few things that I jotted down; things that I think are caution signs for *any woman* who is in, let's call it "a situation" with *any man* ('cause I kinda doubt it's an actual relationship):

Flag #1: "By doing too much, you stop the other person from doing what they need to do in the relationship."

Flag #2: "If they're not doing the things that you need, then they're the wrong one."

Flag #3: "When a guy's actions show 'I'm not interested', that's an indication of the relationship." (That he's also not interested in providing the relationship with what it needs.)

There was something else that he said that also caught my attention *especially* because, in times past, I have found myself in this kind of trap. Also, it made me think of how Satan manipulates Genesis 2:18(NKJV): "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'" In explaining why this particular woman was always finding herself in this kind of situation, he said:

"She's a helper and so she attracts men that need help. So, when she expects him to help her, she's asking him to act out of character."

That's something that some of you may need to sit and marinate on for a while (I know *I* did!) because basically what he's saying is that she attracts the kind of men who have *no intention* (whether consciously or subconsciously) of giving in the relationship. She helps, *she actually OVER-HELPS*, to the point of enabling him, which, in turn, handicaps the relationship. He's not being a full man or lover in the relationship and so, when she stops working in this capacity, the relationship (again...?!?) proves to be ineffective.

The guy had no intention on helping her out. He was perfectly fine being the one on the receiving end. *Always*.

*Trust me*, after that episode, I was *fired up* and ready to pen this message. Or...at least *I thought* that I was. Hmph. Timing *is* the Father's business and what he does *is* give us the Holy Spirit in the meantime (Acts 1:7-Message). I didn't have total peace about writing it and so I put the quotes into a draft. I now see that there was one more episode of the show and a quote from another throwback sitcom that had to be thrown into the mix...*first*.

The next episode was about a woman who was dating a club promoter. *His lifestyle totally contradicts a monogamous relationship* (something else some women should duly note when it comes to their own particular "man of interest"). As some of this woman's friends were talking about the excessive flirting, his late hours and his lack of total commitment into the relationship, the therapist said one more thing that's relevant to this message that also stood out to me:

Flag #4: "She's in denial for the sake of keeping the relationship."

She's in "disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing". She's in "refusal to recognize or acknowledge it" as well. We know that denial, *on any level and in any case*, is not of God because the Word, which is Adonai (John 1:1), clearly tells us that "It's best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it." (Ecclesiastes 7:18-Message) Don't let the Liar (continue to-John 8:44) deceive you; don't let him allow you to tolerate people deceiving you with what Ephesians 5:6 calls "empty words" (love that!).

FAITH IS GOD DOES NOT COME AT THE PRICE OF BEING IN DENIAL ABOUT THE CHARACTER OF MANKIND. ANOTHER DEFINITION OF DENIAL IS "REFUSAL TO BELIEVE A DOCTRINE, THEORY OR THE LIKE". *BIBLICAL DOCTRINE* TELLS US TO DEAL WITH "THE STATE OF THINGS AS THEY ARE OR APPEAR TO BE, RATHER THAN AS ONE MIGHT WISH THEM TO BE". 

FAITH DOESN'T NEGATE REALITY. FAITH MOVES PEOPLE FROM BELIEVING FOR WHAT THEY WANT TO TRUSTING GOD TO PROVIDE FOR THEIR NEEDS (MARK 11:22).

Just as I am penning this, something else is coming to mind that the therapist asked one of these ladies

Flag #5: "Are you even equipped to pick?" 

And isn't *that* a loaded question? Why? It's because of the fact that if a lot of us accepted the free-setting truth (John 8:32), we would admit that we're not "prepared" or "furnished with the intellectual or emotional resources" at this time; that if we can *totally relate* to this posting, then we need to accept the message that we're getting from men---something that is similar to what I heard Overton say on a Living Single episode once upon a time:  "You're not useless. I just don't have any use for you right now."

A LOT OF WOMEN BELIEVE THAT IF THEY JUST *DO ENOUGH*, SOMEDAY THE GUY WILL *BE ENOUGH* FOR THEM. BUT OVERTON IS SPOT ON. BEING A HELPMATE IS NOT JUST ABOUT SHOWCASING OUR CAPABILITIES, BUT ABOUT TWO PEOPLE BEING IN THE RIGHT SPIRITUAL ENVIRONMENT AND TIMING AS WELL. 

*EVERY WOMAN IS BEAUTIFUL AND USEFUL AND A BLESSING*...BUT WHEN IT COMES TO HER BELOVED, SHE HAS TO BE RECEIVED BY HIM AT A *GOD-ORDAINED TIME*. BEFORE THEN, MORE TIMES THAN NOT, SHE PROVES TO BE NOTHING MORE THAN A BURDEN. USUALLY BECAUSE HE'S NOT PREPARING HIMSELF TO EMBRACE THE *RESPONSIBILITY* THAT COMES WITH BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. OTHER THINGS ARE *WEIGHING ON HIS MIND*. SO MUCH SO THAT HE'S NOT DESIRING ANYTHING PUSHING ON HIS HEART.

This too is biblical. Adam shows us one case of it because although the Master Creator *brought* the Woman (*his wife*) to him, he *praised her as being so upon seeing her*. He didn't pursue her, but she didn't have to tell him who she was, either (Nowhere do we see the Woman saying, "I'm your wife. God told me so.". When his "dream state" became his reality, he was prepared for it (Genesis 2:18-25).

We see this again when it comes to Boaz and Ruth. She too was "presented" (in a "pursuit of Naomi and her own kind of way"-LOL) and while Boaz was initially focused on other things, *when the time was right*, he also received her. He didn't say, "You're so good at serving me, I think I'll let you be my girlfriend." No, he said that because of her servant heart *he would do all that SHE requested*. In her *giving*, he would give *in return*.

As I'm praying for some of the women on the "Mother's Day fast message", as I'm doing my own kind of "fear fast", I sense that there is going to be a *great shifting* that a lot of women on "On Fire" will experience, if they are open to it, regarding this kind of message.

I'm not released to speak more on this *at this time*, but I do want to encourage you to process the bottom line:

WOMEN ARE GIFTS FROM GOD. A HELPMATE IS BROUGHT TO A MAN TO HELP HIM. BECAUSE OF THESE TWO REASONS ALONE, SHE DESERVES TO BE *WELL-RECEIVED*. 

THEREFORE, A GODLY WOMAN DOESN'T HAVE TO MANIPULATE, SEDUCE, COERCE, OVEREXTEND, BEG, NAG, GIVE ULTIMATUMS, THREATEN, ACT TOO DEPENDENT OR CODEPENDENT, COMPETE, SACRIFICE HER OWN GIFTS AND CALLINGS (THAT'S KEY!!!) OR *BREAK GOD'S LAWS OR STANDARDS* IN ORDER TO RECEIVE WHAT SHE DESIRES AND DESERVES FROM HER (FUTURE) BELOVED. IF SHE'S DOING *ANY OF THESE THINGS*, IT'S EITHER BECAUSE HE'S THE WRONG MAN OR IT'S THE WRONG TIME. *EITHER WAY, IT'S STILL WRONG*.

Well, I need to get off of here and do some penning in another "lane". But my prayer for *all of the ladies* on "On Fire" this week will be that they will *well-receive* God and themselves so that they will even know when they are being *well-received* by the man that God has for them. The picture at the top of this posting will give you some kind of indication if what you're in (or contemplating getting in) is on the right track...

Towards "Mr. Right", "Mr. Wrong" or..."Mr. Wrong Timing".

WELL-RECEIVED. THAT IS THE KEY TO THE "FRUITFUL COURTSHIP DOOR".

tmm,

SRW


Sunday, May 13, 2012

"On Fire": Do You (Still) Want to Be a Mother (or a Mother Again)?

"He grants the barren woman a home, like a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!"---Psalm 113:9(NKJV)

So...

I was doing some research on a devotional that I'm about to pen about signs and it tickled me because I took *this* to be a sign.

Just now, I read a liner about what is known as the "mother seed" that said this: "Any female can become a mother plant, no matter how old..." and something about that resonated. When I looked to the right side of the search engine page, I saw advertisements for the plant that is pictured below:


They are Mother of Thyme plants.

Those who really know me, know that I look for symbolisms in just about everything and so I went to see what thyme represents. It's a symbol of style, elegance, in France the Republican spirit (interesting), but this is what I dug about it: "Thyme derives its name from the Greek Thymus, meaning courage."

Courage: the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery; the confidence to act in accordance with one's beliefs in spite of criticism; to nerve oneself to perform an action; mind; disposition; spirit

OK, being that one synonym of courage is "backbone", I will share one of my favorite quotes on the matter: "Never grow a WISHBONE where your BACKBONE ought to be." (You can thank a woman by the name of Clementine Paddleford for *that* pearl of wisdom!) However, as I was pondering (Proverbs 4:26) all of this, I thought about a lot of the women I've talked to who desire to be a mother, but have yet to be joined to their beloveds and so their faith is waning. How GOD OF GOD that on today, *Mother's Day*, that he would have the Holy Spirit lead me (Luke 12:12) to a statement that negates a woman's age when it comes to motherhood and then a picture of a plant that translates into MOTHER COURAGE.

And honestly, because I have been learning more and more to say *just and only* what he wants me to say and then be quiet, I don't have a prophecy for you on this matter. There are simply far too many women with far too many backgrounds and testimonies (I Timothy 4:14-16-AMP) to speak in generalized terms. However, what I do know is that this is for the "Hannah spirited" (I Samuel 1) women. The ones who have an ache for a child and then don't see an answer in sight. To you, on this Mother's Day, I speak *courage* over you and I remind you of two Scriptures surrounding that very word:

"Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!"---Psalm 113:9(NKJV)

"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord."---Psalm 31:24(NKJV)

I love how it doesn't just say "Have courage" but "Be of GOOD courage". Some of us probably *think* that we have been living bravely, when really, we've been just barely hanging on by a thread. For those who fall into that category, I will be praying that you seek (Matthew 7:7-8) the Most High (Genesis 14:19) on how to have the kind of fearlessness (2 Timothy 1:7) that is *good*---that is right, proper, fit, virtuous and righteous for your individual situation.

And in the true spirit of symbolism, you know I'm going to be sending out something, right? If you're a woman with a desire for a child (or to be a mother figure in some way), please hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com and we'll have a chat about what the Lord has laid upon my heart regarding you and your needs.

In the meantime, enjoy today. Tomorrow has enough on its plate (Matthew 6:34). Besides, the Lord has just given you a message of *encouragement* and so you have reason to celebrate anyway!

Love to you.

tmm,

SRW


Thursday, May 10, 2012

QUOTE OF THE DAY

One definition of natural is "any person or thing that is or is likely or certain to be very suitable to and successful in an endeavor without much training or difficulty". Perhaps now you'll see why I fell in love with the following quote:


If you're having a hard time loving you, maybe that's why it's so challenging for others to follow suit.

Just a thought...

SRW

Monday, May 7, 2012

"On Fire": (ANOTHER) QUOTE OF THE DAY

There's nothing else that needs to be said but this...


Every "no" is one step closer to your "yes".

Stay hopeful (Romans 5:5).

tmm,

SRW

"On Fire": QUOTE OF THE DAY



Yeah. Well.

It's not like we don't know this, but sometimes we just need to see it in black-and-white (and more than once). Recently, I was talking to someone and she was going on (and on and on) about how weak men are for not wanting to get married.

My reply: "Are you sleeping with your boyfriend?"

Her response: *Crickets*

My response to her reply: "So, you're actually a part of that problem and not the solution, right?

RIGHT. (Hebrews 13:4)

That said, earlier I was reading an article entitled, "Top Ten Reasons Why Men Don't Want to Get Married". Can you guess what the top two are?

*They can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past.
 
*They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabitating rather than marrying.

Definitely something to think about. Why marry a wife when they can get one without making a commitment? Grandma's wisdom continues to be right with the cow/milk theory. We've really got to stop believing (via our actions) that we can "wifey" a man into husband-ship. #wecan't

tmm,

SRW

An Ounce of Prevention: "What STELLA Wishes She Knew as a Single Woman Before Marriage"

"Please don't get married on the rebound. If you are heartbroken, you need time to heal. After the wedding day (and maybe the wedding night if all goes well), you may roll over and realize that you still wish for the one that you once loved and you're using your 'now husband' to try and fill voids that he'll never be able to. You will pay for using someone to get over someone else. Be single so that you can learn how to be whole."---Stella (26)

An Ounce of Prevention: "What DOREEN Wishes She Knew as a Single Woman Before Marriage"

"I wish someone had told me how completely selfish I was before I got married. Everything about my single life was extremely 'I oriented'. I didn't want to see my issues and I decided that every time a relationship didn't work, it was due to something that the guy was doing; not just 'doing' but doing wrong. I'm willing to bet if I lined up all of those people, they would say that the relationship ended because there wasn't enough room for them due to all of my wants and needs. If you don't want to share or compromise or put someone else's needs ahead of your own (a lot), then stay single. Every day, marriage is a compromise."---Doreen (45)

An Ounce of Prevention: "What KRISHA Wishes She Knew as a Single Woman Before Marriage"

"I wish I knew that people that don't make marriage a top priority in their lives are not healthy role models. A lot of times marriage is seen as secondary (if not fourth or fifth on the list) after career, kids, friends, other family members, church, etc. and single women will actually take counsel from those kinds of individuals when it comes to how to make their lives happier and healthier. When a husband is not a wife's top priority and a wife is not a husband's, they are out of God's will. You should be careful about letting someone mentor you that is out of spiritual alignment."---Krisha (29)

An Ounce of Prevention: "What ADRIANNE Wishes She Knew as a Single Woman Before Marriage"

"I wish I knew that how you date is how you'll mate. I'm not sure why girls fantasize like they can act like an irresponsible girlfriend while they're going out with a guy, but all of a sudden they want to be esteemed as a woman of honor just because they jumped a broom. God is gracious enough to give us, especially during the time of engagement, the chance to have a 'practice run'. Spend some real time in Proverbs 31 before you wear that wedding dress. If you don't want to sign up for the job description...rethink it. No one is making you get married, but God and your husband have certain expectations after you take those vows and they have every right to."---Adrianne (39)

An Ounce of Prevention: "What TRACI Wishes She Knew as a Single Woman Before Marriage"

"I wish I knew that people tend to give you advice based on their experience without really consulting the Father on your behalf before opening their mouths. There was so much that I did in the first couple of years of my marriage that might have been right for other people, but was all wrong for me. Embrace your individuality not just as a single person, but that uniqueness that only belongs solely to you and your husband in marriage. Get wisdom, not opinions."---Traci (33)