Sunday, July 29, 2012

"On Fire": Are You *Always* the OPTION?

"And the king was pleased with Esther more than with any of the other virgins. He liked her more than any of the others, so he put a royal crown on her head and made her queen in place of Vashti. Then the king gave a great banquet for Esther and invited all his important men and royal officers. He announced a holiday for all the empire and had the government give away gifts."---Esther 2:17-18(NCV)


This morning I was reading an article that a "reality show" (I'm starting to think that those are a blatant shot against the Message Version of Ecclesiastes 7:18) inspired this particular writer to pen. Although the program that she referenced basically offends me as both a black person and a woman, I still got her point. Sometimes, it's what you least expect (like or want) that will teach you some of the greatest of lessons.


She was referencing a particular VH-1 program and it was this part of her copy that actually inspired me to pen this (ah, the circle of life-Proverbs 16:33[AMP]):

"One of the best lessons I’ve ever learned was that a man who truly loves you will never try to use you as his Plan B because what he’s really saying is 'Hey, I dig you, but I think there’s something better out there' For example, Diddy and Kim Porter, after all of these years of breaking up and making up, they’re still at it. There is absolutely no future in being an option in someone’s life. There’s no payoff in seeing who can hold on the longest. Time is of the essence and no one really has time to waste, waiting around for boys to become men, wake up, smell the coffee and realize that they had a good thing. Playing the role of an option simply subjects one’s heart to rejection and abandonment over and over again. I remember helplessly watching a friend pick up the pieces of her life after her 'on again/off again' man left her at the altar for a second time. Not only did she have to cope with her broken heart, but she had to face the reality that the signs were there a long time ago, but signs are irrelevant if one refuses to open their eyes and see them. Recognizing and admitting that you are playing the bottom chick in your relationship can be a hard pill to swallow, walking away can be even more difficult. But, what is difficult now can cause even more damage in the long run."

That will *preach* on so many levels and it *definitely* reminds me of the saying, "Never make someone a priority who considers you to be an option." I have since (and *sense*) edited that to be more in the lane of "Never make someone YOUR priority unless God tells you to; that resolve should not be OPTIONAL." (LOL) But anyway, here's where I'm really going with all of this. In reading what Jazmine Denise (the writer) wrote, there were "trigger phrases" that popped out.



The bottom chick. *The bottom chick*. She's the chick who is the "filler". She's the chick who is the other "20 percent" that the guy is not getting elsewhere (with the "80 percent"). She is the chick who he "kills time" (sometimes literally) with. She is the chick who he *might* enjoy hanging out with, but not enough to change his lifestyle or make any real long-term (and monogamous) commitment. She is the chick who confuses having sex with *real love making* (Hebrews 13:4). She is the chick who plans her wedding to a guy who rarely even takes her out. She is the chick who thinks that being in a man's life for years is like some kind of odd emotional currency that she can spend on a wedding ring someday (prayerfully sooner than later). She is the chick who finds, usually after the heartbreak, that she was *telling God* that he was "the one" rather than *asking him* for wisdom of whether "the one potential" should be a fact in her life or if she's really been just living in a fictional world the entire time. She's also usually the chick who doesn't listen to *sound advice* because she wants him so bad that *common sense* doesn't even resonate with her.

Who wants to be *the bottom chick*?!? And yet, there are *so many women* who are EXACTLY that. Some of them are reading this blog at this very moment. And here's the thing: If you consider yourself to be *and act like you are* a member of the royal priesthood of the Most High's kingdom (I Peter 2:9), how could you *ever* get the impression that God would want you to assume the role of the bottom chick? Why would you *ever think* that God *the Father* would *ever* want one of his daughters to be treated like she's not the top choice but simply an optional meantime?

I think that's what I like about the verses up top re: King Xerses and Esther. Although I have *no desire* to be in a biblical or televised version of The Bachelor, I do think there is a spiritual symbolism in Esther's story that we should take special note of. Actually a few:

"And the king was pleased with Esther more than with any of the other virgins. He liked her more than any of the others, so he put a royal crown on her head and made her queen in place of Vashti. Then the king gave a great banquet for Esther and invited all his important men and royal officers. He announced a holiday for all the empire and had the government give away gifts."---Esther 2:17-18(NCV)

1) It was *a king* that looking for a wife. A grown man. A provider. Someone who was aware of his worth, value and power. Someone with a purpose and was *fulfilling it* before Esther arrived onto the scene (reminds me of Adam and the Woman in that way-Genesis 1-2).

2) King Xerses desired a *queen* who was also a *lady*. If you recall the entire story, Esther got promoted because Vashti got demoted. Vashti was a queen too, but she didn't know how to *honor the king's position*: Some guys are not choosing a certain woman (*or kind of woman*) because *she's out of position* and he can clearly see/discern that fact.

3) As a single man, King Xerses did spend time with other women (and *single guys* should be allowed to do the same; you are *married* when you are actually *married*), but he came to the conclusion that he liked Esther the most. And while Esther 2:14 shows us that it was basically the protocol for all of the women, I have a feeling that Esther was *completely fine and secure* with that resolve: "She would not go in to the king again unless the king delighted in her and called for her by name." (Esther 2:14-NKJV) Real talk: *Some of us are so busy calling 'him', going to see 'him', doing for 'him' that he couldn't reciprocate even if he wanted to. And here's another point: GUYS MAKE TIME TO DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO!* The other thing that I really enjoyed is that the New Century Version says that King Xerses selected a woman that *he liked*; it doesn't say that he "fell in love with" or " was undeniably attracted to" or "couldn't keep his hands off of" Esther. It simply says that he *liked* her. Something tells me that when they spent time together, before he made his ultimate choice, she stood out because she was smart and funny and engaging and *got him*. There are a lot of married people who I talk to who say that it's not looks, it's not sex, it's not money and sometimes, it's not even "the love feeling", but it's in actually *liking* your life covenant partner that you are able to get through the hard times. (Duly noted.) I believe this speaks to King Xerses seeing Esther as a potential life-long friend *and* his wife. (*Very nice*.)

4) When King Xerses decided that he liked Esther *most of all*, he made her his wife *and queen*. I really hope you catch this one because in my premartial and marital counseling, I discern it's something that a lot of women miss or don't recognize until after the fact. When you marry a man, you don't just become his *wife*. If you are marrying a man who serves THE KING, then he comes with a certain level of spiritual stature as well. A big part of what the "On Fire" Fast Movement is all about is not just getting us ready to be someone's helpmate (Genesis 2:18) *but* to also get to a place in our own esteem, worth and value (Psalm 139:14) that we know that we deserve to be more than merely someone's "wife"...that marriage...*marital covenant* (Malachi 2:14) should play a *direct role* in promoting everything about us. *WHEN YOU MARRY GOD'S BEST FOR YOUR LIFE, *EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU SHOULD BECOME AN UPGRADE*. Women who get married only to have their life and livelihood to become "less than" or even "equal to" their single life is in an odd relational formula.

5) King Xerses *celebrated* his wife and (catch it) encouraged everyone in his world to do the same. This is a resounding theme throughout the Bible. When Adam saw the Woman, he praised her (Genesis 2:23-25). When Jacob saw Rachel, he *volunteered* to work some years just to have her (Genesis 29:18-20). When Boaz chose Ruth, he made a verbal declaration of what he would do in her life (Ruth 3:10-13). If you're in a relationship with a guy who is not *proactive* about praising you, celebrating you, honoring you and *expecting the people in his life to do the same*, that's another thing to ponder (Proverbs 4:26) before fully moving forward. Have you ever heard of a queen in "real time" not being celebrated? Yeah, me neither.

I love the Spirit *of truth* (John 4:24) because so often, we find ourselves in situations where we ask ourselves, "Is that me?" but we remain because we're not sure. If you're wondering if you're an option in your current relationship, um, *circumstance* (LOL) or why you continue to find yourself in that kind of dilemma, those five points should make things *much clearer*. God is good. He *always* enlightens are darkness (Psalm 18:28) when we seek him (Matthew 7:7-8).

You are a child of the Most High (Psalm 82:6).

Stop being the "bottom chick". Stop being the "filler". Stop being the *option*.

Honor God and yourself by choosing to be no less than *first choice*.



Friday, July 27, 2012


It *is* amazing that the Lord thought enough of a woman that he wanted a man to *commit his entire life* to her before "gettin' the goods". (Genesis 2:24-25, Hebrews 13:4)

Just something to (re)think about,


Monday, July 23, 2012




"On Fire": Some Women Want *Princes*. Others Desire KINGS

"...for He is Lord of lords and King of kings; and those who are with Him are called, chosen, and faithful.”---Revelation 17:14(NKJV)

Yeah. Well...

So, after doing a bit of research on the challenges that people have when it comes to their spiritual gifts, being that one of mine is exhorter, I've been working on something that they say that exhorters do, which is cut people off before they *totally* finish speaking. I've come a long way, but I won't lie; I felt convicted when I read that, so I took it as my cue.

Anyway, now that I'm working on learning how to listen even more effectively, something unexpected has happened as a direct result: *I've been listening more to what I've been saying.* So, that said, it tripped me right on out when I did a recent interview and the person said to me, "So you've been kissing a lot of frogs trying to get to your prince?" To which I replied, "At 38, I'm too old for a boyfriend *or* a prince. I like that the Word says that the God is the King of *kings* and the Lord of *lords*. That sounds like he is over *grown men* to me...yeah, I want a king, not a prince."


And then, I thought about Esther. She was grooming herself to be a queen. So often, we as "ladies in waiting" are told to do the same; we are to purge and prepare ourselves to be spiritual queens. And yet, people keep on telling us to do it so that we can have our "prince". Do you know what a prince "in real time" is? He's the guy who has *king potential*; he's "a non-reigning male member of a royal family". I mean, all of the Most High's children are a part of the royal priesthood (Psalm 82:6, I Peter 2:9) and so a prince is cool as a single guy or for a young gal, but when you get to a certain spiritual maturity level, a prince is simply not going to cut it. Suddenly, you look up a realize that words like "sovereign", "chief authority", "a person preeminent in his class" and "A PERSON CONSIDERED TO BE THE BEST OR MOST IMPORTANT OF HIS KIND" are far more appealing and attractive.

A man who has the Master King over his sovereignty, authority, preeminence and importance? Whew! Is that what I've been bypassing all of these other guys for? Because indeed, a peasant girl can't roll up on a king. Only *a queen* has that kind of access. And honestly, a queen is something that I'm *just beginning* to grasp the full concept of.

That said...

I know that I tend to go on (and sometimes on and on-LOL) in these messages, but honestly, I don't know if there's much more to say than that. In life, especially when it comes to the spiritual world, there comes a time to be a "non-reigning female member of the family" and a "consort of the prince". Oh, but then there comes a time when *we all* should put away childish things (I Corinthians 13:11) and desire the "big girl" blessings.

Adonai is definitely a palate-changer. No longer do I desire someone who *might* become king someday. I want a man who is considered to be the best and most important of his kind, of *my kind*, now ("now" meaning at the time that Adonai deems fit to bring us together).

And when a queen knows she's worthy of a king, she'll wait for the best time. Hmph. Just like Esther did.

"She would not go in to the king again unless the king delighted in her and called for her by name."---Esther 2:14(NKJV) 

"At the banquet of wine the king said to Esther, 'What is your petition? It shall be granted you. What is your request, up to half the kingdom? It shall be done!'”---Esther 5:6(NKJV)



Thursday, July 12, 2012





"On Fire": Are YOU a (Spiritual) Praying Mantis?

Yeah...this chick right here is *crazy* (LOL):

Have you ever actually watched a female praying mantis *kill her mate* before? (See above) And while, I'm sure that most of us are aware of the fact that she does, it wasn't until I did some additional research that I personally found out exactly why. Here's why:

"It is believed that the female mantis will eat the male after mating since the protein helps in egg development. How’s that for male sacrifice?"

A universal theme that has been resonating within my spirit *all week long* is that masculinity (along with virginity) is currently on the "(spiritual) endangered species list" and it is the responsibility *of us all* to do  *all that we can* to protect and preserve it.

Actually, I was cool with casually mentioning it on another blog that I pen for and kind of leaving it at that. Oh, but then I read *another article* just now entitled, "Will Men Go Extinct?" and I was like, "You know what? Yeah...*this is warfare*!" (Ephesians 6:10-20)

When I went to the Spirit (John 4:24) about what I could do, what PSA I could send out, the Lord was like, "Tell those single women to stop acting like the human form of a praying mantis. They hunt. They prematurely mate. They use and abuse. They manipulate. They are desperate. They are carnal. They go on the attack. And what they don't even notice is that they are not *praying* for their mate, they are *preying* on a mate. Oftentimes, not even *their* mate. It's some guy that I didn't even purpose for them, but since he was around and available, they went after him anyway. To 'fertilize' their physical and emotional needs."

Whew! And I get it because again, think about the actual insect. The female praying mantis is not attacking the male one just to have something to do. No, *she has an agenda*. She uses him to give her some babies and then *abuses him* so that they can develop.

You know a lot of us aren't any different...

We're desperate to get a husband so that we can have sex.

We're desperate to get a husband because everyone else has one.

We're desperate to get a husband because "our clock is ticking" (if you're older than Sarah *then* we can start talking about your biological clock!-Genesis 17&21).

And all the while, because we are so focused on what it is that *we* want, we don't realize that our methods are *infecting* men in the process. If you watch that video, they have sex and then she immediately starts to dismantle him. *Starting with his head*.

It's funny because my Baba (my mother's husband) just told me this week that women need to really need to one, understand the power of our words (Proverbs 18:21) and two, remember that men are not *so wordy*. "Shellie, one of the strongest men in history wanted to die because a woman was nagging him to death." NAGGING HIM TO DEATH. He was referring to Samson and remember that the thing about Delilah is that she wasn't his *wife*, but she was a woman with an *agenda* (Judges 16). She too was a praying mantis. Picking...picking...*picking away til there was only a shell of the man left*.

You know, I've mentioned the Gloria Steinem quote before that stays with me: "We are becoming the men that we wanted to marry." I think she meant it in a "good" way. Personally, I think it's pretty "scary". I Peter 3:3-6 tells us that it's the quiet and gentle *spirit* of a woman that is precious to God. Not only that, but in biblical times, it was a signature mark of a holy wife. The fact that we're at a place where we're any and everything *but* quiet, gentle, where we've transitioned into being darn near *predatory* is...extremely unfortunate. Men don't need us to seduce and attack them. Men need us to know our worth enough to wait...wait on God to make us the kind of women who don't need to "go on the attack", but simply *warmingly embrace*. In God's time (which is always the right time-Ecclesiastes 3:11).

I posted the video on purpose. It's violent. It's unsettling. And honestly, there are women I know who *immediately* came to mind. *Attacking the body of men to weaken them and then the head/mind of these same men with their mouths for their own purposes* (Ecclesiastes 7:26). How is a man supposed to *feel like a man* when he's going through all of that *warfare* with women who are *supposed to be of help* (Genesis 2:18)?

Some of us are wondering where the "good men" are and God is like, "I'm sorry, are you a good woman, yet? Judge yourself by the same standards that you judge my sons. If you feel like he's not 'man enough', perhaps it's because *you're acting like too much of one*."

Whew! And on that note, I'm out. ;-)

God is speaking. I hope we're all listening.



Monday, July 9, 2012

An Ounce of Prevention: "Choosing a Good Husband: A Guide for Christian Women"


So anyway...

I was skimming an online study with the title of the this blog earlier this evening and I like *a lot* of what I found in it. It's actually broken down into 12 different parts. The intro starts like this:

A partnership may be either a very good thing or a very bad thing. If partners are well matched and work together for a common goal, they each share in the good results of their efforts. If partners do not work well together and have conflicting interests, either one or both will be stuck with his or her portion of an unhappy outcome.

Marriage is a partnership that God intends to last for a lifetime. It is, therefore, extremely important to choose a life partner with whom one is well matched. But how can a Christian woman be sure that the man she marries will be a “good” choice?

Because people may change over the course of time—either for the better or for the worse—there is no fool-proof way to assure a good marriage. But there are some observations a woman can make during courtship or dating and some questions she should ask which may help to reduce her risk of entering into an unhappy partnership for life. In this study, we will look at qualities and behaviors in a man that make him a good risk for Christian marriage as well as qualities and behaviors that serve as warning flags of poor husband material.

The 12 parts are as follows (these are excerpts; it's *far more extensive*):

"Love and Joy": A woman needs to hear a man’s love expressed to her in words and see it evidenced in his actions. Watch for words and actions that specifically communicate love to you when you are being courted by a man. If he expects them from you but does not give them to you in return, he is using you to build his ego rather than valuing you as a person.

"Peace and Patience": A man who is at peace with God should also be a peacemaker. This may involve both maintaining peace in his own relationships and helping to establish or sustain peace among other people.

"Kindness and Goodness": If he expects you to kindly and sacrificially look out for his interests, but he does not do the same for you, think carefully about your willingness to live with that before you commit to a permanent relationship. Most people have rather strong tendencies to be self-focused and to want to receive more kindness than they give, but watch for evidence of growth in this area in the man you are considering.

"Faithfulness": The man who is amused by the thrill of getting away with something that is unethical, against the rules, or against the law has a predisposition toward foolishness and a disregard for authority that is likely to lead him into secret sexual relationships outside of his marriage. Avoid aligning yourself with such a man. He is a prime candidate for the lie, “Sex isn’t as much fun if you’re married; a secret relationship is more exciting.”
"Gentleness and Self-Control": Do not be deceived into thinking that a man who is harsh or violent in his treatment of other people will not eventually treat you in the same way. Being “in love” is only a temporary cushion from established negative behavior patterns. Do not marry a man who treats other people in a way that would be offensive or hurtful if it were you—in time, it will be you.

"Talk": A charming man is one who has a compelling attraction about him. His personality and his “fervent” words please and soothe people. If his charm is coupled with a sincere and honest heart, such a man will have many friends and can be delightful to live with. Because charm tends to inspire confidence and trust from other people, it can be a great asset to a man who uses it to influence people for good.

Unfortunately, charm can also be used to disguise evil intent and to deceive and manipulate people in ways that are not for their good. If you have heard your boyfriend use charming words to deceive someone else, be suspicious of the charming words he speaks to you. There’s a good chance they are not sincere.

"Reputation and Friends": God is in the business of transforming people, so it is not always fair to assume that a man who did not walk in integrity as a child or youth will not have changed. Still, it is a good idea to consider what people who have known him for a long time think of him and to watch for signs of bad behavior patterns that may still linger.

"Attitudes: Part 1:": A tranquil spirit can also be termed contentment. It is not the same as lack of initiative or choosing to settle for less than what we want or need because we don’t want to work for it. That is laziness.

Contentment is, rather, a willingness to be satisfied when we have done our best, without comparing our circumstances to others’.

"Attitudes: Part 2:":  The Bible does not indicate that there is any particular advantage to living with little or to living with much. Neither lifestyle is more holy than the other. God clearly indicates that bad attitudes and evil practices concerning money define an unholy lifestyle more than the amount of money a man earns.

"Relationships with God and with Parents": Pay careful attention to how your boyfriend talks about and responds to the Bible. If he frequently complains about things he doesn’t like in it or picks apart the way it is written (e.g., the apostle Paul’s long run-on sentences) instead of looking for its meaning and how it should apply to him, there could be a serious problem in his relationship with the Lord.

"Other Relationships": Every life has moments of stress and sadness. Sometimes a cheerful word, a little humor, or a lighthearted song will lift a person out of a gloomy mood and help him or her to feel better. But in many situations of severe loss, worry, or disappointment—when someone has what the writer of Proverbs calls “a heavy heart” and needs comfort and caring—levity can actually serve to make that person feel worse instead of better. By the time a boy reaches adulthood, he should be able to discern the difference in what people need.

"Issues for Agreement": Two people will never be in total agreement about everything, but in a good marriage, the couple need to agree about the most important issues and be willing to let their partners differ on lesser issues.

It really is worth spending some time on and sharing with your other single friends. You can check the rest of it out here.

Enjoy. *Truly*.


Saturday, July 7, 2012

An Ounce of Prevention: "20 Red Flags That Tell the Truth"


In reading an article with the title of this blog, the first "red flag" was *so good* thought I thought it was worth listing all 20 of 'em: 

Know Where You Stand: If you need to contemplate whether or not you’re a guy’s girlfriend, you probably aren’t. And if your “dates” with him consist solely of booze and booty calls, you're not actually in a relationship.

(Of course, if more of us spent time *not laying down*, we would understand *where we stand* far easier!)

Understand His Intentions

Watch His Morning-After Etiquette
(and yes, I know some people needed this one for where they are)

Take a Hint

Never Trust a Cheater

Beware the Momma's Boy

Make Sure He Puts in Some Effort:
If a guy can pick up a phone and send you a text, surely he can use the same phone and call you with it. A man who can’t be bothered to actually talk to you isn’t worth wasting your time on.

Watch His Spending Habits

Listen to Your Friends

Check His Ex Factor

Look at His Past

Get to Know His Family:
How your guy’s close relatives behave and interact with each other could indicate who he really is, as well as explain how he got that way. The apple usually doesn't fall all that far from the family tree.

Read Between the Lines:
A guy who’s got marriage — to you — on the brain will eventually start speaking in we’s. If your man says “when I get married” rather than “when we get married,” he’s not thinking about anything long-term.

Don’t Stand for Demands

Ditch a Loser User

Beware the Control Freak

Read the Subtext

Stand Your Ground

Check His Attitude: Inconsiderate and insensitive behavior during the so-called honeymoon phase of a relationship are red flags. Your guy’s not going to suddenly start treating you better once the excitement and newness wears off.

Good stuff. And speaking of *red flags*...

I also loved this article's title. Particularly due to its title: "Top 10 Comments Men Make Which Should Piss Women Off…If We Weren’t So Desperate" (LOL) and these three particular tidbits in general:

2. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” This is a tricky phrase, especially if you do not know what you want. If you’re honest with yourself and you know you want to be in a relationship, do not be softened by the “right now.” Every moment lived is lived “right now.” Understand if he doesn’t want a relationship with you, his “right now” may be as long as you know him. No matter what you do, or how good you do it, forcing someone to be in a relationship with you is the same as building a jail. Do it and you’ll find you’re dating an escape artist.

8. “I ain’t gotta be your man, you ain’t gotta be my girl…” I ain’t gotta be a chicken, you ain’t gotta be a cow. What does this mean? Are we listing all of the things we don’t have to be? ‘Cause that can take forever. Let’s skip to what we are. I am a woman. The question is, are you my man? If the answer is yes, we need to work on our communication skills. If you are not, the rest of this conversation is moot.

10. “I’m not good enough for you” or “You’re too good for me.” When a man understands this truth, this is the most honest thing he will ever admit. You got to believe him. It is not a backhanded compliment. It is not a zen koan. A man will step up his game when he is inclined to compete. But, he will not participate in every game he sees. So, when he discloses to you that he doesn’t want to play, it is time to head off the field. It’s not a “foul.” It is just a clear, and kind, indication this isn’t the team you should suit up for. When you know you are a first-draft pick, you don’t consent to being someone’s last choice.

Please excuse the cuss words if you decide to read all of the copy. I didn't find it on Christianity Today. ;-)



Monday, July 2, 2012


I was just telling a loved one yesterday that needy chicks freak guys out. And since the Word says it's *God* who supplies *all of our needs* (Philippians 4:19), if we're in a relationship that is based *solely* on need and we're still *in need*, then there's a *huge chance* that *God* did not *supply* the guy...*we took it upon ourselves to pick him*.

"I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him."---Ecclesiastes 3:14(NKJV)

Just sayin'.


Sunday, July 1, 2012

An Ounce of Prevention (Video Blog): "Abigail: The Woman Who Married the Wrong Man"


In the midst of my looking for something else, I "happened upon" (Proverbs 16:33-AMP) this video. I sent it as an email to some loved ones in my life and I'm posting it here, just as I stated it. Make about 22 minutes or so to watch it. *Good stuff right here!*

"The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb."---I Samuel 25:3(NKJV)

Nabal means "fool". Whew!

Single ladies: "Are you dating someone that God has taken out of your life? Let him go. God is bringing you a prince in Israel to bless your life." (Remember, when Nabal died, Abigail married King David!)

Married women: "If a godly woman has a mule-headed husband, if she will walk in paths of righteousness, God will discipline that husband and severely. How? One thing that God does is stop listening to his prayers...Do you know what hell is like? Hell is no communication with God and when you as a husband start abusing your wife, God shuts off communication with you...I'm not listening to you until you make it right with the woman that you chose to be the queen of your life [Shellie here, Proverbs 28:9 does say that a man who does not keep the law, even his prayers are an abomination]....Ladies, if your man is acting a fool, turn him over to God. God has an anger management class that will get his attention...Now remember, [Nabal and Abigail] was an arranged marriage [but she risked her life for it]. WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RISK TO SAVE THE MARRIAGE THAT *YOU ARRANGED*? *Don't be so quick to criticize your husband. YOU CHOSE HIM*. The guy sitting beside you represents your 'consummate wisdom'...Good marriages are built on principles found in the Word of God...A MAN DOES NOT SUBMIT TO HER *LEAD* BUT HE DOES SUBMIT TO HER *NEED*. Have mercy!!!*