Friday, January 11, 2013



OK, so I've been mulling around with this in my head for a couple of days now and the Spirit (John 4:24) just *won't let up* about it and so here we go...

Although I will probably throw in some "Quotes of the Day", etc. in between, for the next...little while (LOL) we will be doing a Song of Solomon series on the blog. For now, what the Spirit is leading me to do is focuses on all of the stanzas given to the Shulamite woman from her beloved. As a lot of you have probably noticed, there are a lot of metaphors and analogies in it and while the entire world seems to have its theories on what was really being said, as a writer who got her start as a poet, one of the things that I enjoy most the Song of Solomon is that its like a priceless piece of art: only the artist *really knows* what he meant and as "observers", we are free to see it however we wish.


This study will not be an exegeses on the relationship dynamics or how it's really a description of how Christ feels for the Church. No, what I am led (Luke 12:12) to do is go through the verses (again, starting with what the "male beloved" said first and then...we'll see) and share what the Spirit is leading me to pick up on to share. 'Cause here's the thing: Although television is scripted (and that means oftentimes quite unrealistic-Ecclesiastes 7:18-Message), there is still something very, relevant, about what Carrie Bradshaw once said when she was in a relationship where she realized that she was settling for less than she desired: "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."

Now, let me say *this* about *that*. Some of that sounds a bit fairytale-ish (and you know how I feel about that word; look up the definitions sometime) and borderline lust and/or obsession. You *can* live without anyone on this earth (Hebrews 13:5) and more than a few of you have written me about knowing what a ridiculous relationship is like (LOL). No, what caught my attention with her quote was the context of it. She was with one man, all the while knowing that something wasn't right...something didn't click...something didn't really, fully and totally *fit*. And remember, when God declared that it was not good for man to be alone, he said "Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him." (Genesis 2:18-AMP) So many couples learn *way too late* that when *God joins people together* (and that doesn't happen just because two people decide to get married, by the way-Matthew 19:6), they are going to be suitable for one another, adapted to one another and complementary for one another:

Suitable: such as to suit; appropriate; fitting; becoming

Adapted: to make suitable to requirements or conditions; adjust or modify fittingly; to adjust oneself to different conditions, environment, etc.

Complementary: acting as or forming a complement; completing; forming a satisfactory or balanced whole; forming a mathematical complement; [math, logic] mutually exclusive and exhaustive, each being the complement of the other; (of genes) producing an effect in association with other genes

It's a blog that's a book in length to get into how absolutely absurd the world's perception of love is. It's selfish. It's lust-filled. It's temporary. It's spoiled. It has no understanding of what real commitment is because it has no respect for what true covenant does (Genesis 2:24-25, Malachi 2:15). However, as the Spirit is using this time in my own life to help me to really understand what marriage is about and for (Psalm 18:28, James 1:5), I see that the reason why a lot of relationships "epic fail", both in and out of the Church, is because people are so focused on wanting to be "loved" or having someone to "love" that one, they don't really understand all of I Corinthians 13:4-8 and two, they don't spend nearly as much time in Genesis 2:18-25 as they should. God didn't say "It's not good for man to be alone so I will make a helper who *loves* him." He said "It's not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper who is *right* for him." Or, as the Amplified explains, suitable, adapted and complementary...appropriate, adjustable, mutually exclusive and exhaustive...BECOMING. 


Becoming: that suits or gives a pleasing effect or attractive appearance, as to a person or thing; suitable; appropriate; proper

God makes couples who will be suitable for one another, who will give a pleasing effect to one another, who will be mutually attracted to one another and who will also be appropriate and proper for one another. Indeed, you can love a lot of people in this world, but *only God* can make the call on if you are truly becoming for one of them. Yes, far too many people don't even make the time to see if they are (spiritually) suitable for's something that doesn't even come up on their radar...until its too late.

That's one of the purposes for this series. It's not about trying to make your future husband like the one in Song of Solomon. That kind of man may not be *suitable* or *becoming* for you and honestly, throughout a lot of the counseling sessions that I do, I realize that one *huge* problem is that people don't love *the individual* (Psalm 33:15) they are with; they use people like mannequins: "I like your shell. Now be like the guy I saw in this movie or heard in this song." Again, absurd. No, this is about pulling back some of the layers to see just how *suitable* these two lovers were so that we can have a better spiritual understanding of the standard that we should set for ourselves when it comes to becoming the helper God wants us to be and requiring the kind of husband that God wants us to have: an Ish (Hebrew for "man" and "husband" simultaneously).

And this is what makes the cute lil' pic so extra comforting and a wonderful way to intro this series. The Amplified Version doesn't just say that the Shulamite woman found the man that she loves; she said that she found the whom *her soul* loves. That speaks to a deep spiritual connection because in the wise words of C.S. Lewis "You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." Souls are immortal. No wonder marriage is supposed to last until the death of the bodies, right? It's because marriage is a representation of two *souls* becoming one.

I don't have a full idea of where we're headed. What I do know is that we'll get there soon enough and when it comes to better understanding the kind of love that we all deserve...things are about to *so get much clearer*.

I'll be in touch soon,


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