"I went down into the orchard of nut trees to see the blossoms of the valley, to look for buds on the vines, to see if the pomegranate trees had bloomed. Before I realized it, my desire for you made me feel like a prince in a chariot."---Song of Solomon 6:11-12(NCV)
This is definitely one of my favorite verses (and quotes) thus far because it reminds me of something that a lot of women seem to forget: men need to feel important in their relationships.
As a matter of fact, I was just having a conversation with a married couple that I am friends with earlier this evening about how the wife oftentimes speaks in a patronizing way to her husband in public. As she was providing her perspective as to why that's the case she said, "When you act like a child, you'll get treated like one. That's how the women in my life have always approached marriage. It's engrained in me."
And you know what? While that may seem extreme, let's not act like we all haven't witnessed a woman who either talks to or about her husband like he's her son and not her Ish (Hebrew word for "man" and "husband" simultaneously). Honestly, we can't "buffet" a man. Meaning, we can't pick and choose when we want to see him as a man, as *the man* in our lives, and when we think we have the right to treat him as less than such. Earlier today, I just wrote a devotional on how we are *commanded by God* to respect our husbands (Ephesians 5:33) and a part of respecting an individual includes esteeming and honoring them. When you esteem a person, you hold them in high regard and have a favorable opinion of them. When you honor a person, you treat them with honesty and fairness, you give them high *public* esteem (people know how much you value your man outside of the home) and give them a high and *noble* rank in your life.
A noble rank. Now I will say this, if you are a part of a royal priesthood (I Peter 2:9) then you need to select a man who is a part of it as well. When someone acts nobly, it means that they are "of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence". This means that their moral character (Colossians 3:12-17) stands out above the rest. A noble man is not going to lie to you. A noble man is not going to be a, what I now call male fornicators (Hebrews 13:4), "Cookie Monster" (LOL-Matthew 7:6). A noble man is going to make sure that he doesn't put you before God (Exodus 20:3) and if he is seriously considering marrying you, he is not going to put you under anyone other than the Lord, either. When you are brought (Genesis 2:23), by God, to a man like this, he is more than worthy of your respect. And when you give him what God says that he is deserving of, yes, it makes him feel very similar to what the Shulamite woman's beloved said that she made him feel: "like a prince".
And what's really hot about how he phrased it is that it's not just that she treated him like a prince, but she loved this man so well that even his desire for her made him feel like royalty. Check that, please. His desire didn't make him feel like some horny teenager or some lust-driven man (I John 2:16). No, his longing and craving for her caused him to feel (whew!) *sovereign*. Supreme, utmost, and above all others when it comes to the level of importance that he has in her life.
When I do public speaking on how sex before marriage *damages* the marriage's foundation (people can survive it, but it definitely comes with a high price of consequences-Galatians 6:7-8), one of the things that I share is that when both people were raised that sex outside of marriage is wrong (and it is) and they do it anyway, trust is severely compromised. Remember that a part of a man's role, as a husband, is to be a protector of his wife's mind, body and spirit AND a part of a woman's role, as a wife, is to be his helpmate (his Ezer Kenegdo, his lifesaver-Genesis 2:18). So, how are two people spiritually protecting or helping one another, by partaking in an act that God said is wrong (I Corinthians 6:16-20)? *They're not*.
As daughters of the Most High (Psalm 82:6), a part of our role is to honor men as sons of the Most High in all that we do and in all that we say. That said, I can't help but the think that a part of the reason why the Shulamite woman's beloved could say that wanting her made him feel like royalty was because he could trust her; trust her with his mind, trust her with his body, trust her with his spirit. When you can fully entrust your heart to another human being, yes, that is a feeling that is truly...majestic and it is the result of involving yourself with someone who serves the King and seeks *only him* (Matthew 7:7-8) for direction (Proverbs 3:5-6) on how to love well and right.
Trust me, it's not hard to get a man to lust you. These days, I want a man who is in this "desire lane": "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4-NKJV) I don't want a Cookie Monster. I want a husband. And as I once said in a poem, "queens can't balance crowns on their backs".
Bottom line, if you want to make a man feel like a prince...*act like a princess*.