Monday, April 15, 2013


The title alone caught my attention: "Don't Scratch the Loneliness 'Itch" with the Wrong Scratcher'". Classic:

"There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship but regardless of whether you’re in or out of one, you still have to be your own friend and you have to cultivate the things that you need, want and expect in your own life. Not all of these rest on another party. Having real connections with others is a very important part of your life and by having a healthy relationship with you and fostering healthy connections with others, it paves the way for moving closer to finding a romantic partner if that’s what you want.

Loneliness is one of those feelings where if you scratch the proverbial itch with the wrong scratcher, you will get temporary relief but the feeling will return until you scratch it with the right solution – healthy self-soothing. Until you’re clear on what you feel and why (try a Feelings Diary) and you address it in a healthy manner, the loneliness will increase not recede. This is why people who soothe their loneliness with crumbs feel worse not better, but they still end up bloated on the crumbs and believing that it’s all they can get / deserve.

Work out how you feel and why, make sure you know your own needs etc., and evaluate how you’re going to go about meeting those needs in a healthy manner. What does loneliness look like to you? Are you genuinely uncared for? Do you value the connections and life you do have? Is all of it about a romantic partner or are some of the things you’re feeling, thinking and needing about something else in your life? What is it that you miss and how can you drive this?"
A "feelings diary". Yeah. That's hot. Definitely something to consider. Sometimes we're "lonely" simply because we take our time for granted. If we really were proactive about self-improvement, we'd be shocked about the fact that 24 hours oftentimes feels like not nearly enough time in a day.

Words to live by...



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