"For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable."---Romans 11:29(NKJV)
For the past couple of days...
I've been finding myself having an interesting conversation with several different people around the same subject: a man's calling in life. However, it was after reading an article (complete with pictures) of a particular pastor's wife in a very (*very*) revealing dress and reading some of the tweets that followed, that I said something to a wife in email today: "Shoot, there's no telling how many divorces transpire because wives of entertainers stalk and are jealous, wives of doctors nag about his schedule, wives of pastors don't want to comply to the 'code of ethics'. We just seem to not look at how *practical* God is. It's unfortunate."
And it really is just that. Unfortunate. "It" being that God doesn't just put two people together that *love* one another. God brings two people together who are "suitable, adapted, complementary" (the Amplified Version of Genesis 2:18) as well.
It makes me think of a couple I've been counseling and the fact that one of the things that the wife has had a really challenging time dealing with/adjusting to is the fact that her husband is in the military. Now when you're dating someone in the Armed Forces, initially, it can be a pretty charming (charming?!?-LOL-Proverbs 31:30) experience. There are military balls. He can fly you to where he is. His benefits are awesome and so he has more money to cater to you.
Oh, but marry the fella and you've definitely got a reality check (Ecclesiastes 7:18-Message) in store. His hours tend to be long. If he's deployed, it can be for months at a time, sometimes without you having the specifics of his whereabouts or duties. And, when his assignment is up, usually that means he will soon be stationed to another state (if not country)---and all of this can happen in just a few months or a couple of years worth of time.
And again, unfortunately, this kind of set of circumstances oftentimes is not even discussed (or at least extensively discussed) in premarital counseling, if a couple goes to counseling at all (*please* go to counseling!-Proverbs 1:5, 20:18 & Proverbs 24:6). Instead, two individuals look into each other's eyes all the while thinking about how "in love" they are without really (REALLY) taking into account that being married means literally merging lifestyles. And for a wife, this means being a helpmate (Genesis 2:18) not to just a man but his calling in life as well. A wife is not merely an Ezer Kenegdo for a man's soul but she is also someone who is divinely appointed be this: "anything that aids or assists, especially regularly. A wife is to *regularly* aid and assist a man's calling in life.
To be an aid is to provide a sense of support and relief. Not only that but it is also "to promote the progress or accomplishment of". A helpmate promotes the progress of her helpmate's calling. She is not a nag. She is not a stumbling block. She is not a hindrance.
To assist is to (catch it) "to work or act as an assistant or subordinate to (another) ". So, when Colossians 3:18(NKJV) says "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord", based on the definition of assist, one thing that we could take this to mean is "Wives, be an assistant to your husband's calling in life because God wants you to help him in that way." Not *change* him. *Help* him.
I think that's why the lead quote caught my attention so...
Being that Romans 11:29 tells us that God's gifts *and callings* are irrevocable, this means that they are things that cannot be revoked or recalled...they cannot be repealed or annulled...they cannot be altered. What a man and woman of God is called to do, God is not going to change his mind about them doing it.
In praying about being brought (Genesis 2:22) to the man who is *God's absolute best* for you, this is something (else) to seek divine wisdom (James 1:5) about. A woman married to a man in the military *has* to be flexible. A woman married to a pastor *has* to be conscious of her appearance. A woman who is married period *has* to not just be willing to love (I Corinthians 13:4-8) her husband every day but also *help* his calling too; the very thing that "pulls at his soul" (that God puts there), she cannot seek to pull him away from. You'd be amazed by just how many women do just that.
Don't just take the man into account. Focus on his calling too. When it comes to being his wife, God will not expect you to separate the two. They are a package deal and you will be *required* to help him progress as a man *and* in his calling.
Choose wisely so that you can be a supernatural life force and not a weight or restraint.
So that you pull him closer to his calling. Not push him away from it.