So here's a little project you might want to try sometime.
Something that I've realized that we as women tend to do, *a lot*, is date the same kind of person over and over again. One, because we move much too quickly from one relationship to the next (dating scenarios included). Two, because we don't even realize that we're caught up in a pattern (of moving too quickly and choosing the same person). And three, because we're not even sure what we should be looking (or rather waiting) for in the first place. After all, "a good guy" is pretty general and basic, don't you think?
That said and thankfully, I "happened upon" (Proverbs 16:33-AMP) an article entitled "Qualities of a Godly Husband". I must say, it's pretty, um, extensive:
In general, we can say that a woman should seek a man who is wise, thus Proverbs gives us the characteristic of wise men.
1. A wise husband is kind and compassionate (12:10).
2. A wise husband is honest (29:24).
3. A wise husband is hard-working (12:11; 27:23-27).
4. A wise husband is truthful (12:17,19).
5. A wise husband exercises self-control (12:15; 16:32).
6. A wise husband has a gentle tongue (12:18; 15:1-2,4).
7. A wise husband is generous (14:21; 28:27).
8. A wise husband is willing to be corrected (even by his wife) and listens to counsel (12:15; 15:12,31-32; 28:13; 29:1).
9. A wise husband is a man of integrity (19:1; 20:7).
10. A wise husband is faithful and reliable (17:17; 29:3; contrast 25:19; 31:3).
11. A wise husband is forgiving (19:11).
12. A wise husband is willing to admit he is wrong (28:13).
13. A wise husband is humble (15:25,33; 16:18-19; 18:12; 29:23).
14. A wise husband is not contentious, but a peacemaker (17:1; 18:1,19).
15. A wise husband has control of his temper (14:29; 16:32; 17:27; 29:11).
16. A wise husband is a man who avoids excesses (20:1; 23:20-21, 29-35; 31:3-9).
17. A wise husband has a concern for others, especially the poor and the oppressed (29:7).
18. A wise husband can keep a confidence (17:9; 26:20).
19. A wise husband fears God and is obedient to His Word (13:13; 14:26; 16:20; 28:25; 31:30).
20. A wise husband is not a jealous man (27:4).
21. A The wise husband has a positive outlook on life (15:15; 17:22; 18:14).
I know, right?
So here's the deal. Get out a pen and pad and HONESTLY jot down the traits that the past men in your life had on the left side of your paper and then HONESTLY jot down the traits that they didn't on the right.
Then take out another sheet of paper and HONESTLY jot down why you continue to overlook the traits on the right side. For instance, some women date men who are contentious and have a temper because they're drama queens. Some women date men who are jealous because their self-esteem is low and they want a man who freaks out over them. Some women date men who are pessimistic because it makes their own lives look better. Some women date men who compromise the Word as a way to justify sleeping around. Some women date men who lie because, quite frankly, because they do as well. Some women date men who are self-indulgent (do not care for the poor) because they want to reap the benefits of his extravagance (at the expense of others). Oh, and then there's nothing like the women who literally become the men they date (the dating chameleons)---when you don't know who you are, it's easy for someone to tell you who they desire for you to be.
I'm sure you see where I'm going with this. We tend to stay in patterns with others when we're in ruts ourselves. Yet looking at the kind of less-than-stellar qualities that your (current or past) "significant other" has is a surefire way to discover some things about yourself. And what you'll probably realize is that the more you heal/grow/change, the more your taste in men will shift. Automatically and naturally so.
A lot of women date first and seek (biblical) truth later. That, within itself, is a pattern.
Forget Santa's list. Check that one up once or twice before going on another date.
I mean, if you're desiring a husband, shouldn't "he" have the qualities of one?
Yep. I agree.