Last evening, I was reading an article entitled "10 Ways to Live Life with No Regrets" and while being that we do sin (I John 1:9-10) and as believers and/or disciples (John 17), there should be a part of us that is truly repentant when we do (2 Corinthians 7:9-11), I'm not really sold on the fact that we actually *can* live without any regrets (nor do I trust people who claim to not regret things being that regret means "to feel sorrow or remorse" and remorse means "deep and painful regret for wrongdoing"); however, aside from that, the points were...pretty on point:
Be the leader of your own journey.
Take calculated risks.
Change your thoughts.
Think you CAN.
Concentrate on being your best self.
Pay attention to life while you’re living it.
Share your love openly and honestly with those you love.
Say “goodbye” so you can say “hello.”
Yep. Good stuff. (They each have their own paragraph so click on the link if you want to read more.)
Yet, it was these two that prompted the title of this email:
Take time before it’s too late. – Before you know it you’ll be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?” Take time to figure yourself out. Take time to realize what it is you want. Take time to take risks. Take time to love, laugh, cry, and forgive. Life is shorter than it often seems. Take time before it’s too late. Look straight ahead and say “YES” to the opportunities coming your way. Happiness and success never come to look for you while you wait around. You’ve got to get out there, take chances, and work at it to make your dreams come true.
And especially this one:
Wear your truth. – As long as you keep being YOU, as long as you keep staying true to yourself and the passions that move you, it doesn’t matter how many jobs you get or don’t get, how many mistakes you make, or how many times you have to pull a u-turn. None of it matters. What matters is that you’re living in your truth. The people who need you will eventually find you – the real you. And you will find the people you need. You will find the answers you need. But more importantly, you will find the questions you would have never thought to ask. Read The Art of Non-Conformity.
OK, let's quickly recap some of the definitions of single (again):
Single: unique; unmarried; individual; sufficient for only one person; determined; distinct from other things; single-minded; (of the eye) seeing correctly; honest or sincere; genuine
Synonyms: celibate, exceptional, exclusive, original, particular, rare, special, specific, unattached, uncommon
Single is not some kind of life punishment that we all have to simply tolerate until we get into a lasting relationship. *Everyone comes into this world single*. *Two of the most influential people in the Bible (Christ and Paul) were single*. We are given time to (yes) figure ourselves out and realize what we want...*as singles*. (There are so many people who are traumatized in their marriages and it's all because they were so busy looking for someone to "complete them" rather than *being still* enough to ponder who they truly are as individuals. Proverbs 4:26 says that in pondering, thoughts are established.) And here's the thing: if you don't know the answer to those questions, if you're looking for someone to answer them for you, that's a surefire way to *make a marriage happen* rather than *allowing God to bring you to your right (ideal, good, purposed-James 4:17) beloved*.
Oh, but it's these two definitions of single that really help to drive the point of this message home: HONEST or SINCERE. As a matter of fact, I laughed to myself when I saw that before those words it said it was a "rare" definition. Hmph. Perhaps it's because it's rare that people *tell the truth*. Especially to themselves.
Truth: the true or actual state of a matter; conformity with fact or reality; verity; a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like
Telling the truth.
Living the truth.
One definition of single is celibate. Celibate is not just about being unmarried for religious reasons but also abstaining from sexual relations. Do you know how many virgins watch porn and masturbate and how many non-virgins engage in oral sex?
One definition of single is unique. Being unique is about being *very* remarkable and unusual. Do you know how many people try and look like other people, act like other people...do the same things that other people do? They live their entire lives patterning themselves after others. Or they're being chameleonic in order to attract whatever person they are interested in at the time. (There is absolutely *nothing* unique about that.)
One definition of single is (dig this) seeing correctly. I make it no secret that what might be my favorite parable is this one: "Again the kingdom of heaven is like a man who is a dealer in search of fine and precious pearls, who, on finding a single pearl of great price, went and sold all he had and bought it." (Matthew 13:44-45-NKJV) A *healthy single* woman knows that she is distinctive enough to be one woman for one man and a *healthy single* man is able to see that woman once she is brought to him (Genesis 2:22).
And then there's being honest with one's God, oneself and with others. To be honest is to be "honorable in your principles, intentions and actions". To be honest is to be "upright and fair". To be honest is to be "frank". To be honest is to be "genuine and unadulterated". To be honest is to be "trustworthy". To be honest is to "not lie, cheat or steal". To be honest is to be "just". To be honest is to be "without pretensions or artificial traits". And just for safe measure, being trustworthy means being "deserving of trust or confidence; dependable; reliable".
You know, there are a lot of people out here wondering why they're still single. Meanwhile God is looking at them like "I'm sorry. Are you even truly single yet? Are you honorable in your intentions? Are you fair? Are you frank? Are you someone who is not pretentious or artificial in how you present yourself to others? Are you dependable? Are you reliable?"
And being that God does do things in a decent order (I Corinthians 14:40), would it not make clear and total sense that he would want us to really *be single* before we united ourselves to someone else? Because really, what's the point in being married if your intentions are tainted (Proverbs 21:1-8-Message)? What's the point in being married if you can't even reveal your true self (perhaps because you don't even know who that is yourself yet)? What's the point in being married if your partner can't put his confidence in you---if you are not a dependable or reliable person?
AND what's the point in wanting to be married to the person you are dating, in a relationship with or desire to be in a relationship with if he does not exhibit these traits as well?
Indeed, some of us need to be singing praises to the Most High right now for his grace and mercy that we are not married because we genuinely may need more time to be single and/or to observe if the person we desire to marry is also...single.
Yep. It's more than a notion to "wear your truth" and to get to the place of really believing that "what matters is that you’re living in your truth."
Takes "the truth shall make your free" (John 8:31-32) to new heights, does it not?
Take this week to do some seeking (Matthew 7:7-8) and praying (James 1:5)...
About if you are living God's truth and your truth.
And if the guy in your life is doing the same.