Monday, September 30, 2013
An Once of Prevention: 'Signs You're a Control Freak'
I know what it's like to be in "control freak" intervention and let me just say that the more you control *you* and the less the less that you try and control *others*, the calmer you are and the more willing they are to receive what you have to say. And even some of the things that you do.
Yet here's the thing: A lot of people are not actually aware just how controlling they actually are. That's why I discern that excerpts from the following two articles can help to do wonders when it comes to knowing where you are doing *way too much*---sometimes without even consciously knowing it.
The first one is actually a business-relates article entitled "8 Signs You're a Control Freak":
Want to know if you're a control freak? Here are eight signs for your self-diagnosing pleasure.
*You believe that if someone would change one or two things about themselves, you'd be happier. *So you try to "help them" change this behavior by pointing it out, usually over and over.
*You micromanage others to make them fit your (often unrealistic) expectations. You don't believe in imperfection and you don't think anyone else should either.
*You judge others' behavior as right or wrong and passive-aggressively withhold attention until they fall in line with your expectations. Sitting in silent judgment is a master form of control.
*You offer "constructive criticism" as a veiled attempt to advance your own agenda.
*You change who you are or what you believe so that someone will accept you. Instead of just being yourself, you attempt to incept others by managing their impression of you.
*You present worst-case scenarios in an attempt to influence someone away from certain behaviors and toward others. This is also called fear mongering.
*You have a hard time with ambiguity and being OK with not knowing something.
*You intervene on behalf of people by trying to explain or dismiss their behaviors to others.
You believe that if you can change another person's undesirable behavior, then you will be happier or more fulfilled. You make someone else responsible for how you feel.
And then there's one that's relationship-related entitled "20 Glaring Signs You Have a Control Freak in You":
Here are 20 glaring signs of a control freak that could help you recognize the control freak in you. Being a control freak isn’t all bad, but when it affects your life and the people you love, you know you’ve crossed the line into the dark side, don’t you? Use these 20 signs to find out if you’ve crossed over already.
#1 You sincerely believe that others around you are incapable of doing something on their own, and need your constant intervention and guidance just to do something right.
#2 You believe you know what’s best for your lover, your family or even your workplace.
#3 You’re convinced that everything can be completed to perfection only with your involvement.
#4 You have to see it to believe it. You don’t trust the judgment of others, even if it’s someone you trust.
#5 You’re a bad listener who doesn’t like hearing the other side of the story, and you never try to understand another person’s point of view because you think you’re right anyway.
#6 You always assume a task or a chore will lead to failure without your involvement or advice.
#7 You’re a workaholic, and love it. It helps you realize just how dependable you are, and just how much others need you.
#8 You get frustrated when someone doesn’t get you, or doesn’t understand that you’re only trying to help them *even if they aren’t asking for your help*.
#9 You can’t take criticism, and you only pretend like you can.
#10 You want to be a perfectionist in everything you do, and secretly feel threatened by anyone who may be better than you in your expertise.
#11 There’s no pleasing you, and you always find a reason to complain. If the work is done by someone else, you think it’s shoddy. If it isn’t completed yet, you get angry because it hasn’t been done.
#12 You set unreasonably high standards for yourself, which can leave you disappointed and frustrated.
#13 You expect high standards from everyone around you, even if they’re not capable of achieving the high standards you set.
#14 You don’t like it when someone keeps secrets, especially your loved ones. You go out of your way to hear the truth, even if it means doing something unethical and wrong.
#15 You like making decisions for others, because you believe they can’t make the right decision without your help.
#16 You feel hurt and angry if someone declines to accept your help.
#17 You can’t wait to pick flaws if someone doesn’t involve you with the decision making. It helps you realize your own worth, and makes others realize how important you really are in their lives or plans.
#18 Control freaks hate delegating, and would rather stay up all night working instead of sharing the burden with someone.
#19 You’re easily angered if your partner or a close friend takes a decision without hearing your suggestion first.
#20 You don’t trust people and you always doubt their capability and sincerity.
There's no way a woman can make the transition into a wife if she's already trying to control the men in her life. Just something to think about (and pray over).