Tuesday, October 22, 2013
"On Fire": Sometimes a Guy Is Not Denying YOU but Your PURPOSE
This is about to set somebody FREE right here!
As a woman and as a doula, one of my favorite verses in Scripture that, to me, speaks to both, is here:
"All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy."---Romans 8:22-25(Message)
A big part of it is because it reminds me that no matter what age you are, what your relational status is, or whether you have (or can have or want to have) children or not, women are here, in part, to *birth* things.
It's a long story and it actually took an entire 3,000+ devotional to break it all down (if you want to read it, shoot me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll forward it along to you) but years ago, the Spirit (John 4:24) told me that I would have a son named Perez. At 39, not in a relationship and actually healing from a pretty hard "heart blow", I wasn't sure how that was going to be possible.
Now remember that he said I would *have* a son. Not physically *birth* one. We have to really pay attention to *all* of the words God uses when he speaks to us.
On 07-07 of this year, I got my answer/revelation about Perez (at least this season of Perez) and when I tell you that I learned, live and in living color, what it really means when Isaiah 55:8-11 tells us that our thoughts and ways are not the Lord's and yet *still* his words will not return void...we've really, really (REALLY) got to stop trying to bring God down to our level of reasoning and understanding being that one, he is the MOST HIGH (Genesis 14:19); two, his understanding is infinite (while ours is finite-Psalm 147:5) and three, spiritual matters can only be discerned when we choose to see them...*spiritually* (I Corinthians 2:13-15).
For me, long story short, Perez means "breakthrough" (it's also a derivative of Peter and as biblical characters go, Peter and I are pretty tight-LOL) and one definition of son is "a male descendant" and one definition of descendant is "disciple" (which is what I prefer to call myself over Christian, actually-John 8:31-32). So, piecing all of this together, God was telling me *years ago* that through me, spiritually, I would help others to birth breakthroughs towards discipleship. In some ways, especially when it comes to men.
A trip, right? (Don't limit God!)
So on 07-07, I changed the "face" of my devotionals and they are now called "The Perez Movement". Interestingly enough, years ago, I was also introduced to the fact that butterflies (among many other things) symbolize survivors of sexual abuse. I am one and so I used to collect them...a lot. Well, the picture on my devotional is a butterfly coming out of its cocoon because in order to have breakthroughs, you must transform. One way or another, you have to come out of your, well, *shell*. That's why I was in total awe when the Spirit led me to this verse last year:
“Set up signposts to mark your trip home. Get a good map. Study the road conditions. The road out is the road back. Come back, dear virgin Israel, come back to your hometowns. How long will you flit here and there, indecisive? How long before you make up your fickle mind? God will create a new thing in this land: A transformed woman will embrace the transforming God!”---Jeremiah 31:21-22(Message)
That's a hot verse, fa 'sho!
OK, but let me get to why this message has the title that it does...
A couple of years ago, I experienced a heartbreak like no other. I still love the guy and love covers (Proverbs 10:12) so I'm not going to go into grave detail. But I will say that there was, and in some ways still is, a strong spiritual connection and during that part of the journey, he and I had conversations about Perez. When he told me that he would rather be (cough, cough) let's just say in the limelight, I thought my dream of Perez had died.
But how can a dream die when it was God's vision to begin with?!?
I would *never* pick a name like Perez on my own. So I didn't need to release him on my own, either.
Then one day, the Lord started speaking to me, A LOT, about my purpose. From this blog, to 10...Again to marriage counseling to breaking up engagements (yeah, I'm big on *the right people* being together as opposed to just *two people being together*) to doualing---my entire purpose centers around something the Spirit told me that I was years ago. I have learned that some titles are to remain private but it speaks to establishing and celebrating *true* marital covenant. And for people even to get "breakthroughs" about what *that* means.
So as I'm still on the mend (I'm not a believer that you can hop from dude to dude and call it "being in love" with several of them; that's actually called "being in love with 'love'" that usually isn't love at all), the Spirit recently said to me something that caused me to almost fall right out of my bed:
"So your purpose is to prepare people for and celebrate marital covenant and all that covenant entails as far as you know, 'he' doesn't even see marriage as a priority in his life. In this season, Shellie, how was that going to work? He doesn't complement your purpose. Therefore, he won't be able to provide for or lead in or support it in the way that you require and even deserve. He's not denying 'you'. He told you that he loved you. He's denying your purpose and you can't do anything about that. Only a heart change could change that."
DING! DING! DING!
Sometimes, we as women are so focused (or is it consumed or is it obsessed?) with trying to be in a relationship or become someone's "girlfriend" or my personal preference WIFE (why do *grown women* need to spend years being someone's *girlfriend*), that we overlook the fact that even though *a part* of the reason why we're on this earth, if we desire marriage and God sees it fitting into his plan for our lives (Matthew 19:1-12-Message and I Corinthians 7), is to be a helpmate (Genesis 2:18), that's not *all* of who we are.
However, if you don't spend a concerted amount of time discovering your purpose in life, there's a good chance that you'll put "some guy" ahead of the very reason why you were put here on this earth and even though you could still end up married, you might also end up...well, miserable. I actually know a lot of miserable wives who are married to men who do not support their purpose, which I personally believe is a big part of what a husband's need to "dwell with his wife according to understanding" is all about (I Peter 3:7). That said, I also know a lot of wives who are currently sending their husbands through hell, literally, because they are trying to get a man to make them happy when really, he can't do for them what living a purposeful life can. And I've said before that one of my favorite quotes about hell is by Tryon Edwards: "Hell is truth seen too late."
Now is the time, as single woman, to discover the *truth* about your purpose in life.
Yet if you don't make knowing your real and true purpose (YOUR PURPOSE) a top (TOP) priority, you'll walk around thinking that no one wants you or the guy who you desire is rejecting you without looking deeper. Sure, there are simply times when you like someone who doesn't like you. And really, that's OK because if they don't desire you then they're not the right one (or it's not the right time). Yet other times, it's not so much about who you are but what you are here to do on this earth that is simply not a good match for them.
This is a big part of the reason why I personally believe that "not being yoked with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:11-17) is in the Word (John 1:1). It's not that people of interfaith marriages "can't" work. I mean, the Bible is chocked full of them: Moses and Zipporah, Boaz and Ruth, King Xerses and Esther...the list goes on. But in the Word, you will notice that other than Esther, *the men were believers* and since women are to submit to men (whether they choose to accept that or not-LOL-Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18), it makes sense that Moses converted Zipporah and Boaz converted Ruth, right?
Yet when a woman is trying to grow in her purpose and calling in life (Romans 11:29) and the man in her world does not have the spiritual insight to do what the Spirit told me couples should do for one another, PROPEL her, then there are going to be some real challenges at best and serious problems at worse.
Yes, you are to bring divine favor (Proverbs 18:22) to your husband.
And yes, he is to propel you: "to drive, or cause to move, forward or onward". Especially when it comes to your purpose.
And again, if you really don't know what you're on this earth to do, it's going to be hard to look past someone's looks, personality or even all of the "I love yous" to really and truly see if they are your God-ordained "purpose propeller". Or not. You know, someone who has the spirit and the ambition and the desire and praying power and the commitment to drive you...to cause you to move forward and onward throughout the rest of your days. (Matthew 19:6)
So, whether you're going through a heartbreak...
Or you're feeling super lonely and rejected...
Or you're simply wondering "Where is he?!?" in a yelling voice (LOL)...
I want to encourage you to take all of this to heart.
A relationship is not just about two people being together but two purposes growing together.
And take it from me, when you really get why God put you here on this earth and you truly understand that no one can do what you do quite like you do it (Psalm 33:15, I Corinthians 12:11), you'll find yourself so in love with, so engrossed in, so connected to your purpose that if "he" can't encourage and support it, "he" is not someone you really want to be with anyway.
Hmph. Funny how that all works out. Funny how you find yourself not feeling "rejected" but *thankful* that if he can't propel you, he needs to...move out of you and your purpose's way!
And you actually end up *denying "him"* (look up the definitions of "deny" sometime).
You can only walk together in agreement (Amos 3:3), right? *Exactly*.