Wednesday, November 13, 2013

An Ounce of Prevention: 'Why I Wish My Husband Had Married Someone Else'

Whew. God is really using people to drive some stellar points home...

This morning, I "happened upon" (Proverbs 16:33-AMP) an article entitled "Why I Wish My Husband Had Married Someone Else":

This may sound strange, but I kinda wish my husband had married someone else – someone a little different…someone a little less green and naïve about how this whole thing called marriage was really supposed to work. I wish his wife was better equipped to handle the truth about what marriage really means. Why? Because then, she would know to expect rocky roads, good night and bad days. She wouldn’t be so devastated by fights about the frivolous and would quickly learn the true meaning of “opposites attract”.

I wish my husband had married someone that was more tolerant when it comes to the shortcomings – those of her own and those of her sweet husband. I wish his bride could grasp the simple fact that when it comes to marriage – nothing and nobody’s perfect. Not a soul…not a mortal…and especially not a couple. Speaking of perfection, I wish my husband had married someone smart enough to understand that even though THEY are not perfect, that they are perfect for each other.

I wish my husband had married a woman who knew early on in their marriage, to take care of herself first. She didn’t realize that it was completely necessary that she ate right, got proper rest and carved out “me time”. She was ignorant to the fact that she could avoid being tired and living in the constant state of exhaustion. She would know that when mommy’s alright…the rest of the family would be OK too! Besides, what husband wants to see a tired, run-down shell of a woman? A good man deserves a vibrant and attractive woman.

Now that I think about it, if it weren’t for all of things that she WAS NOT, then she would not be the wife that she is now! She wouldn’t be the attentive, intuitive, [self]-loving wife she is today. I guess you can say that I am thankful that God chose me to be that wife, because going through tough times and simply learning each other has made our bond even stronger. No matter what she wasn’t equipped to handle in the beginning of the marriage, they have both taken it in stride and have committed to making it work.

It'll preach!

Ironically, the founders of the site I read this article on penned a piece entitled "5 Characteristics of Mature Love":

1. They are intentional about making their marriages work. People that have mature love...have it because they put in the work.  In the article, The Truth about Falling Out of Love,  Amy Morin- LCSW says:  "People who experience mature love don’t allow themselves to passively fall out of love. Instead, they take action. Choosing to take your relationship to the next level doesn't come easy. It requires you to behave in a way that is contrary to your feelings at times. It takes hard work, dedication and commitment." 


2. They continue to have loving actions, even when loving feelings aren’t present. People that have mature  love know that marriages have their seasons and their up and downs. And even when they are going through their rough spells, they continue to have loving actions for each other.  Dr. Johnny C. Parker, Jr., author of  Renovating Your Marriage Room by Room, says: "When a couple chooses loving actions, often times loving feelings emerge again." 

3. They set goals. One of my favorite couples and our marriage mentors are Carlos and Katherine Green, authors of the The Family Goal Planning Guide and Workbook. The Greens believe that goals are a great way for you to grow your marriage and family.  Goals provide direction for your marriage and will strengthen your relationship as you work together to achieve them.

4. They know how to love each other. These couples take the time to find out how their partner needs to feel love (their love language) and then they choose do it. That's right folks, I am talking about The Five Love Languages again because understanding each other's Love Language is one of the keys to having lasting love.

5. They know how to work through their problems….together. We've seen couples overcome infidelity, financial issues and more.  And the one thing that makes them different from couples that do not survive the storms is their ability to work (together) to solve their problems.  Couples that have mature love work together....period.

Mature love. Definitely something that we need to put more focus into because when I Corinthians 13:4-8 speaks of what love is, it's definitely not the "kiddie pool" kind.

Great read(s). Make sure to pass it along.



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