Monday, November 25, 2013

An Ounce of Prevention: 'Why Women Still Need Husbands'

"Then God said to the woman, 'I will cause you to have much trouble when you are pregnant, and when you give birth to children, you will have great pain. You will greatly desire your husband, but he will rule over you,'

Then God said to the man, 'You listened to what your wife said, and you ate fruit from the tree from which I commanded you not to eat. So I will put a curse on the ground, and you will have to work very hard for your food. In pain you will eat its food all the days of your life. The ground will produce thorns and weeds for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. You will sweat and work hard for your food. Later you will return to the ground, because you were taken from it. You are dust and when you die, you will return to the dust.'"---Genesis 3:16-19(NCV)


I'm well aware that some people believe that the curses spoken in the Garden no longer apply. I don't see *any biblical evidence* to support that. Plus, as a doula, I have yet to personally encounter a woman who has not experienced some level of pain during labor and just about every single day, I talk to women who desire a man/or their husband.


I'm still rocking with the what God said to the Woman and Adam.


If a woman is going to hurt in labor then a man still needs to *work hard* for his provision. As I oftentimes tell women who are exhausted, have their homes in disarray and seem to have a stronger work ethic than their husbands (or potential husbands), "I don't see why you're the one toiling when you were never told or expected by God to."

And no, I'm not saying that a wife shouldn't work. What I am saying though is that when she is expected to be the breadwinner in the family, something is in disarray. The relationship heirarchy (Ephesians 5:21-33) is *out of order*. And the Word tells us that God does things in a decent order (I Corinthians 14:40).

So if you're dating someone with a poor worth ethic, he is not ready to be your husband because he has not fully matured as a man. (Yet.)

I'm not saying that he has to be wealthy or that you should be materialistic. Many women have missed out on some real gems because the guy didn't bring in six-figures. But what I am saying is that if you're doing more than he does to provide, then you are setting the stage to be doing that after marriage. And that's not good.

That said, here's an article that I checked out just this morning that addresses this matter entitled "Why Women Still Need Husbands". Check it out and think about your standards. A man can be fine all day long. He can be a good communicator. He can love the Lord (please make sure he loves the Lord). But in order to be a *good husband*, he also must be in the position to provide. PROVIDE.

Over the past several decades, America has witnessed a profound change in the way women view men and marriage. It began with the baby boomer adage “never depend on a man.”

This message resulted in a generation of women who turned their attention away from the home and onto the workforce. They did what their mothers told them to do: they became financially independent so they’d never have to rely on a husband.

In time, “never depend on a man” turned into the full-blown belief that men are superfluous. In 2010 Jennifer Aniston claimed women needn’t “fiddle with a man” to have a child. 

This may strike you as an isolated case of stupidity, but Aniston’s willingness to put it out there speaks volumes about modern cultural attitudes. No actress would have said such a thing in the 70s, 80s, or even early 90s.

Fortunately, most women come to the realization that they do, in fact, need a man—at least if they want a family.

Financial independence is a great thing, but you can’t take your paycheck to bed with you. And there’s nothing empowering about being beholden to an employer when what you really want is to have a baby. That’s dependency of a different sort.

This is the conclusion to which most women have come. Research shows that what women want more than anything else is not to work full-time and year-round but to live balanced lives.

How will they do it? That’s the number-one conversation among women today.

‘Round and ’round we go, asking how women can gain more control over their lives. How can they spend more time with their children? How can they make time for exercise or even a social life? How can they keep their houses in order and still have time to cook? The answer is obvious.

Lean on your husband.

According to Pew Research, “Dads are much more likely than moms to say they want to work full time. And when it comes to what they value most in a job, working fathers place more importance on having a high-paying job, while working mothers are more concerned with having a flexible schedule.”

That women prefer part-time work is simply irrefutable. It was true back in 2007, and it’s even true among Ivy League graduates! Study after study, both here and abroad (the majority of women in the UK, Spain and other countries seek some combination of paid work and family work) shows women as a whole (the Sheryl Sandbergs notwithstanding) want multifaceted lives. They want balance.

And there’s only one way to get it: rely on a man’s more linear career goals. Unlike women, a man’s identity is inextricably linked to his paycheck. That’s how most men feel a sense of purpose. Indeed, research shows men see it as their duty to support their families even when their wives make as much money (or more) as they do!

Perhaps that’s because men can’t produce life the way women can—let’s face it: those are some serious shoes to fill—but they can produce the means to make a child’s life secure. As a nation, we dismiss this integral part of masculinity. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

So why not let husbands bring home the bulk of the bacon so women can have the balanced lives they seek? There’s no way to be a wife, a mother and a full-time employee and still create balance. But you can have balance by depending on a husband who works full-time and year-round.

I know what you’re going to say. Where are these husbands on whom women can depend? And you’re right: there are fewer men these days who seem eager to be primary breadwinners.

But ask yourself why, and I bet you know the answer.

It's nice to see woman still having, not traditional values so much as *healthy standards*.

Take heed...



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