Saturday, November 2, 2013

"On Fire": Don't Settle for Mixed Messages. HEALTHY Means CLEAR.

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"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."---John 3:16(NKJV)

"My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth."---I John 3:18(NKJV)


OK, is it because it's getting colder (in America) or what?!?

I've been getting *quite a few emails* from women who are trying to decipher (or is it translate?-LOL) either the messages that they are getting from guys or the kind of relationship that they are (currently-Ecclesiastes 3) in with them. So much to the point that I felt led (Luke 12:12) to put out a spiritual PSA; one that I wished that I had taken heed to years (and years and years and years) ago:

"If a guy wants you, wants to be in a relationship with you, wants to marry you, he will make it *abundantly clear*."

Now before I go deeper into this, I'm not the gal who believes it's because a guy is meant to "find" you. I have said many times before that Proverbs 18:22 ("He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord"), I discern, is more of a *contemplative* statement more than a *directive*. Mostly because there are all kinds of ways to "find someone" and all kinds of examples of men in the Bible who did not pursue their woman and God was still in the relationship (Eve, Ruth and Esther immediately come to mind). I have been at peace with a perfect courtship being about *God deciding* when two people should come together and him *bringing the woman* to the man (Genesis 2:18-25) for quite some time now.

Our job is to be *obedient* to his timing. And directives.

Not to conjure up our own.

So when I mean that a man will be clear, I do not mean that he will chase you down. Women are not deer. They do not need to be hunted down as prey. And as much as people say that men are hunters, I have yet to find Scripture to support that.  *Men are human* just like we are and so they don't need to be out here choosing on their own any more than we do. *Both sexes need the Lord to lead them to the right one for them*(Proverbs 3:4-6).

No, what I mean by *clear* is that when I was praying about how to approach this issue so that I could post it, the Spirit (John 4:24) led me to an oldie-but-a-goodie: "So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." (Revelation 3:16-NKJV) Lukewarm speaks to being "moderately warm; tepid". Yeah but don't miss the other definition: "having or showing little ardor, zeal, or enthusiasm; indifferent".

God has no desire to be in relationship with those who show little ardor, zeal and enthusiasm about him. People who are...*indifferent*. When you are indifferent, it means that you are "not caring", "apathetic", (catch it) "showing or having no preferences", "uninterested" and "ROUTINE". It's taking on the attitude of "I can take you or leave you". It really is like someone who sends mixed messages.

We are instructed to love God will all (ALL) of who we are (Mark 12:30-31). To love in that way, you can't be "lukewarm". As a matter of fact, to be in a relationship with God, *fervency* is needed. Fervent is *the total opposite* of lukewarm. When you're fervent, you're "having or showing great warmth or intensity of spirit, feeling, enthusiasm, etc.; ardent". James 5:16 tells that it's the *fervent* prayers of the righteous that have power. I Peter 5:22 tells us to love one another *fervently* from a pure (PURE) heart. And I Peter 4:8(NKJV) instructs this: "And above all things have fervent love for one another, for 'love will cover a multitude of sins.'" Therefore...

We were not made to have "lukewarm" relationships. 
We were made to love and be loved *fervently*.

God loved us so much that he gave his *only Son* for our sakes. That speaks to a fervent kind of love. I John 3:18 tells us that love is not to be about "lip service". Love is to be an *action verb*. So, when you're in a relationship with someone, it's not meant to be...ambiguous is the word that comes to mind. Sure, love needs time to grow and so things need to move one step at a time (don't pressure a man to marry you or know you're the one after three dates; save that for the movies) but that doesn't mean that intentions should not be...*clear* is the word that the Spirit gave me. One way or another, you and the person you're in relationship with should not be afraid or hesitant to be *clear* about what each desires to come out of the relationship.

God is *perfectly clear* about how he feels about us. In word and in deed.

We need to be *perfectly clear* about how we feel about him. In word and in deed.

And in our relationships, things also need to be clear.

Clear: free from darkness, obscurity, or cloudiness; light; transparent; even and pure in tone; without defect; easy to see or hear; distinct; certain in the mind; free from doubt or confusion; sure; not harsh; serene; calm; complete; free from suspicion or guilt; evident or obvious

Oh please tell me that you caught (all of) that!

A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS EASY TO SEE, IT'S CERTAIN IN THE MIND, IT'S FREE FROM CONFUSION, IT'S SURE AND CALM AND IT'S EVIDENT AND (WHEW!) OBVIOUS!

You were made to love clearly.

You were made to be loved clearly too.

So, if you're not *clear* on some things, *get clear*.

You were made in the image of beings that can do without lukewarm involvements.

Don't apologize for feeling the exact same way. Accept it.

tmm,

SRW

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