"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."---Psalm 147:3(NKJV)
"...(for the children not yet being born, nor having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works but of Him who calls)"---Romans 9:11(NKJV)
Some of you might recall my sharing the story of a play that I saw *years ago* that has remained with me. There was a woman who just found out that she had AIDS and in the midst of her tears, this transpired:
A little girl came to her and said "Mommy, mommy" to which the woman replied "I don't have any kids."
Then a teenager came to her saying "Mom, I need to tell you something" and again, the woman said "Why do you call me that? I don't have any children."
And then a full grown woman approached her saying "Hello, mother." By then, the woman was so frustrated that she said "Quit calling me that! I don't have any children." The woman in the scrubs calmly said "You did have a child. I am the one that you aborted and I had the cure for AIDS."
"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb."---Psalm 139:13(NKJV)
No matter how the world spins it (because it's full of pride and pride puts itself first-I John 2:16), abortion is a very fearful, selfish and counterproductive act. Not because the Lord will not forgive anyone who does it (I am a living testament to the fact that he does!-I John 1:9-10) but, just like all of his other standards in the Word (John 1:1), when we ignore them or disobey them, there are grave consequences...oftentimes ones that we cannot even begin to predict and can last far longer than we ever would have dreamed.
I have made it no secret that I have had four abortions (1993, 1994, 1997, 1999). Some people find it jarring how open I am about them; however, the women I know who tend to internalize the situation often seem very...stagnated in their healing and ultimately their full deliverance. While everyone is not as outspoken as I am (which is fine because the Lord did not create us all to be or act the same-Psalm 33:15), to act like an abortion never happened, to be dismissive about it, to not talk *to someone*...to not go to God to make peace with him and yourself (which would require *asking him* how to do it not *telling him*)...that is going to come back to you at some point. Again, sometimes when you least expect it.
For example, as a doula, I have encountered women who found themselves going through some *serious postpartum depression* after they birth a child because it's then that they really see the ramifications of their past choices (insert Whitney Houston's song "Miracle" here). It's similar to what I once heard Elisabeth Hasselbeck say on The View years ago (that I actually agreed with-LOL): "It's interesting that when a woman doesn't want to have a baby, there is a debate about whether or not she's carrying a child or a fetus but when she does, she tells everyone 'I'm going to have a baby!' as soon as she gets the pregnancy results back." Checkmate.
There is no such thing as "a woman's *right* to choose". Taking someone else's purpose away from them, *no matter what the reason*, is not a *right* (and especially not one to be proud of). Yes, we have *the power of choice* and again, I, and even Adam and Eve, will personally attest that you need to be *very careful* with it. Choosing wrong has unbelievable consequences.
Yet God is loving and if we are open and willing to make an amends (Matthew 5:23-24), it really is amazing how he can restore (Joel 2:25). Fully.
Lately, the Spirit (John 4:24) has been talking to me about my own aborted children more and more. I named them years ago and even that did wonders because as a 39-year-old woman who is not in a relationship, it has kept me from having the "barren" mentality and then rushing into something stupid. It's not that I *can't* get pregnant (obvious). I've *been* pregnant. However, over the past several weeks, there has been a fervency to revisit the *meanings* of my children's names (by the way, I didn't *choose* these names...I was *led* to them and especially when it came to the boys, it took years for me to realize what they meant):
Damien: to tame
Nasya: miracle of life
Four. FOUR. Ironically, "4" biblically symbolizes creation. And lately, I've been creating some things surrounding these names. It's been amazing to watch it all unfold.
If you are a woman who has had an abortion, I want to share with you something the Lord told me that can really take you and how you live your life to an entirely new level of "glory to glory" (2 Corinthians 3:18):
"Shellie, when a woman has an abortion, she robs someone of their purpose. Being truly repentant is about making an amends and one way to do that when it comes to your children is to do your best to live out their purpose for them. LIVE OUT THE MEANINGS OF YOUR CHILDREN'S NAMES."
It's quite biblical that a child's name speaks to their purpose. Genesis 49 is a great example of this very fact. And I'll tell you what: since I've taken that to heart, life has only gotten...fuller is the word that comes to mind. There is absolutely no way that I can bring my children back or live out their lives just as they would have BUT when I get up each morning and say "My children deserve for me to be tame, to have life, to seek out the miracle of life and to be peaceful...my children should not die in vain" it helps me to heal even more, it keeps me from being all "antsy" about the possibility of not actually birthing a child and there really is, yes, peace within.
I contemplated posting this. Not because I don't discern that it's powerful but because I wasn't sure that there was enough women following this who has had one to the point that it required it's own post. But I've read the stats on abortion and how many woman have had (at least) one and the Spirit has continued to bring it to mind for a while now.
So, if you are a woman who has had an abortion...
1) I really encourage you to seek the Lord about what the child's name would have been.
2) I strongly urge you to go to God about making real peace and finding full resolve about it.
3) I will pray that you receive what I said in this message.
Every child deserves a right to life.
In honor of a past choice that you cannot change, make a point to honor their purpose.
It will heal and restore you in ways unimaginable.
I promise you that!
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."---Ecclesiastes 3:11(NKJV)