Monday, December 30, 2013
An Ounce of Prevention: '6 Traits of a Supportive Woman'
I've been spending quite a bit of time "on pause" at "For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. " (I Corinthians 11:8-9-NKJV) And you know what? Some women might have problems with that resolve but being that the Word IS God (John 1:1), then you know what that means, right? Besides, Paul was divinely inspired (2 Timothy 3:16-17) to pen this as well: "Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God." (I Corinthians 11:11-12-NKJV)
Anyway, after someone shot me a text a couple of days about some of her thoughts on being an "alpha girl" and I told her that even with my naturally strong personality, I don't find it to be in the least bit attractive to be *dominant* in a relationship (especially as a woman-Ephesians 5:22-33), I thought about the amount of men who have told me over the years how little their wives/fiancees/girlfriends have shown them support. Even though as helpmates (Genesis 2:18), that's exactly what we're supposed to be: *supportive*.
And just what does that mean exactly? Good question.
It's always great to hear a man's perspective on things like this, so I'm going to share the article "6 Traits of a Supportive Woman" below:
I thus submit that if you find me a great man, by my definition he will have a great woman in his life. And great to me is not money or influence or the amount of horsepower in his SUV. It can be all of that, of course, but "great" is about so much more. It is about depth of personality, strength of conviction, confidence, compassion, and courage.
A great man commands instant respect and admiration. He has friends who go to battle for and rely on him, family members who are proud of him and work associates who like to be around him. But most of all, he has a strong and stable woman by his side to support him.
Do you have that in your relationship? Does she lift you up when you need it and provide constructive criticism to make you a better man? Better yet, does she make you strive to be a better man? If there is a shred of doubt in your mind, read on for some key traits to look out for in a mate.
1- She's Fiercely Loyal
You can give your all to a woman and inspire zero devotion in return. In a dispute with a mutual acquaintance or even a family member, her allegiance is suspect. Why must she find reason to side with someone else? Good question.
A supportive partner is on your side no matter what, ready to go to war with you and take on whatever obstacle life presents. She is a fighter and a faithful sidekick, through thick and thin.
Trust and mutual respect are fantastic and intrinsic in a solid relationship but at the end of the day, give me a loyal woman. Not just from a monogamy standpoint (this is a non-negotiable) but also from a broad perspective that encompasses small everyday occurrences and major events. A woman to stand by your side for life.
She gives you a run for your honey...
2- She Challenges You
My fellow AskMen.com contributor, Doc Love, has his own spin on the concept of Challenge, which, overall, I agree with. This type of challenge is not quite the same, however. My point here is to find a partner who challenges you to progress all the time. Couples who have many years behind them and a slew of experiences tend to become complacent.
As a result, they get lazy and neglect to develop. But everyone must develop in order to improve. Since I have yet to encounter a perfect human being, I assume you fall into that category. I know I do, and because of that I want a woman who is not afraid to push me: to stay fit, to eat well, to work hard at my job, and in general, go out there and get what I deserve out of life.
Now by push, I do not mean nag. I mean challenge. Of course, if you have no ongoing inclination to change for the better, you may not be able to tell the difference. But what other trait better demonstrates real love?
3- She Inspires You
Now, if your woman serves as an inspiration to you, then you have a great partner by your side. She can inspire by her example or by her word, but overall, she motivates you to get better.
Hand in hand with her capacity to challenge you, her inspiration factor is essential to sustain and develop your love. When all else fails, this will bail you out of bad times and relationship stagnation.
Physical attraction is what gets us at first, but over time, you need a woman who can make you think and reflect on a deeper level. This is what inspiration is all about. When you have it, you change for the better and develop wisdom you thought you never had.
She'll give up travel for you...
4- She Grounds You
Every man needs to keep his ego in check. Pride gone awry, or hubris, can lead to a precipitous downfall. You may have a humble nature or the inner character to stay modest, but a strong partner is a great support mechanism to ground you in reality when the situation calls for it.
The ideal is that she props you up when you least expect and takes you down a peg when your head swells to the size of a watermelon. You know she loves and admires you but at the same time, you never want to rest on your laurels.
5- She Sacrifices for You
A powerful indicator of whether she can be that great women by your side, is her zeal to sacrifice for you and the relationship. What has she put aside to advance the two of you as a couple and a team?
Without your interference, has she made a move on her own to forego an opportunity for her career or to travel in order to be by your side? Never expect her to do so but keep tabs of when she has put you first. This is an important component of commitment. When she drops her obligations and rushes to be with you in your hour of need (or not), be grateful.
6- She Loves & Cares for You
Love is not a descriptive word. Think about it. What does love entail? For me, real love encompasses every point in this article. So I include it with "cares for you" out of common convention, since we tend to equate the two terms.
The basic point of my message here is to partner with a woman who demonstrates affection on a regular basis with abandon and ease. Men need love too and we become better when we have a woman in our life who loves us at the end of a hard day or when we feel lousy. There is no elegant way to phrase it: life can suck real bad. When it does, there is no remedy like the tender touch of a good woman. Strike that. A great woman.
So if you have a great woman by your side, congratulations and have a sweet life. If the opposite is the case, go out and get whom you deserve. And remember that in order for the relationship equation to balance, you have to execute every condition laid out above for her as well. Sorry men, but love is a two-way street. Best of luck to you.
If you're in a relationship, don't *assume* that you're this chick. Ask your guy.
If you're not in a relationship, this is a good list to keep close-by.
A woman didn't write it.
A MAN DID.