Tuesday, January 14, 2014
An Ounce of Prevention: '25 Signs You Are Not over Your Ex ...'
In this particular case, the title speaks for itself. Read below and take heed:
Learning all of the signs you are not over your ex is hard. Breaking up is never easy and learning to get over someone that you love is even harder. If you think that you aren't over your ex, you might want to take a look at my top 25 signs you are not over your ex completely. Remember, learning the signs you are not over your ex is the first step to admitting you aren't over him!
1. You Dwell on His Every Facebook Status
Do you constantly stalk his Facebook page just hoping for a status update about you? This is absolutely one of the first signs you are not over your ex. With all of the social media tools out there, it's easy to see where your ex has been and is headed. It's also easy to see what he is feeling, especially if he is the type to put it all over Facebook.
2. You Stalk His Twitter
Maybe your ex is trying to take a step back from Facebook and moves over to Twitter. Do you constantly find yourself stalking his Twitter account? This is another sign you are not over your ex. Put the mouse down, ladies, and let him live his life!
3. You Show Up Wherever He Checks In
FourSquare is definitely one of my favorite apps, but it's also pretty dangerous – especially if your ex is the type to check in everywhere. Do you watch where he checks in and then just show up? That's one of the top signs you are not over your ex and that you're trying to just win him back!
4. You Still Have Pictures of You Two Up
Do you still have pictures all over your Facebook and all over your apartment of the two of you? This is absolutely one of the signs you are not over your ex, ladies. When you break up with someone, you shouldn't have pictures of them all over still. After all, why would you want those memories?
5. You're Still Sleeping with Him
This happens sometimes, doesn't it? Where you are still having sex with your ex. This is one surefire sign that you aren't over him yet. You need to cut some ties, ladies, to let yourself heal.
6. You Talk about Him Constantly
Are your girlfriends sick of hearing you talk about your ex? Do they constantly tell you that you need to shut up about him? This is definitely one of the signs you are not over your ex yet. You need to cut the talk about him and pick up some new topics, ladies!
7. You Keep Every Present He Gave You in View
While it is customary to keep most of the gifts that he gives you, do you keep every single gift he gave you right out in the open? Do you constantly find yourself wishing for more gifts from him? That's definitely a sign you are not over your ex yet.
8. You Can't Change Your Status on Facebook to Single
I know it's hard to switch your status from 'in a relationship' to 'single,' but if you just refuse to do it, on the belief that you two will get back together, it's definitely a sign you are not over your ex. Girls, you've got to be able to switch your status or at least take it off and make it non-visible. It's all about the closure, ladies!
9. Every Single Thing Reminds You of Him
While it is normal for old places that you two went to together and old things that you used to do together to remind you of him and the relationship that you had, if everything in the world constantly reminds you of him, that's a problem, ladies! It's also one of the classic signs you are not over your ex yet!
10. You Overcompensate
Do you dress all the way up just to go the grocery store because you think that you might see him? Do you go all out with not just your outfits but your makeup all of the time just because you think you might run into him? That's a sign you are not over your ex, ladies!
11. You Compare Every Potential Boyfriend to Him
One of the worst things in the world that you can do with a current boyfriend or even a current date is compare him to your ex. Do you constantly find yourself doing that? That's a sign, ladies, that you might not be completely over your ex.
12. Seeing Him Still Makes You Weak in The Knees
What happens when you actually see your ex? Do you get the butterflies in your stomach? Does he make you relive every single memory that you had together? Does he make you weak in the knees? That's not a good sign, girls; it means you really aren't over him yet!
13. You Still Believe You Are Going to Be Together
Do you hold out hope that you two are going to be able to get together again? Do you believe that you two are really made for each other? It's a sign you are not over your ex completely yet. You can't hold out hope for you two to get back together, otherwise, why did you break up?
(Side note: I'll add to this. Some people break up because it wasn't the right time to be together and later in life, they do end up reuniting. However, if when you two were together, you made one another worse rather than better, especially spiritually and also, *if he was the one to end it*, be careful before getting back with him. For one thing, the time apart should reveal to you that he needs to be spiritually mature enough to share your intimate space *and*, if he broke up with you, one way to know that he's in a different place is if *he's looking for you; not if you're looking for him*. Just sayin'.)
14. You Constantly Write Love Letters to Him
What about love letters? Do you still write all sorts of love letters to your ex? That absolutely means that you aren't over him! You should be writing love letters to your current boyfriend or the guy you are dating and not your ex.
15. You Hang Out with All of His Friends Still
When a relationship is over, you really do find out who your friends are, but if you are constantly forcing yourself into his circle of friends, just to find out more information about him, that's not necessarily being over your ex.
16. You Purposely Try to Run into Him
While hanging out with his friends might guarantee that you will run into your ex, do you find yourself constantly trying to run into him? Do you find yourself at the grocery store or the mall or even old restaurants you used to go to just so you can hopefully see him? Ladies, that's a sign you are not over your ex yet!
17. You Text Him Constantly
It's really easy to shoot off a text and not even really think about it, but do you constantly text your ex? Don't, ladies! It's time to cut the communication a bit, that way it's easier for you to get over your ex!
18. You Refuse to Delete His Number
I actually did this with an ex of mine, I refused to delete the phone number! It's hard to really get over an ex, but deleting their phone number out of your phone is the very first step. Trust me, it's hard, but worth it!
19. You Plan Dates Just to Make Him Jealous
Do you use Facebook and Twitter to detail out all of your dates, just in hopes that your ex will be jealous? While it might be difficult to admit, but your ex is probably not looking at your wall and doesn't exactly care about what dates you have.
20. You Still Sleep in His Clothes
Do you constantly still sleep in his clothes? That's one telltale sign you are not over your ex! After all, you are supposed to give those back in the breakup, right?
21. You Keep Going over What Went Wrong
You just can't let your relationship go and keep thinking about what went wrong. Was it something you did, were you not enough for him, what can you do to fix it? If you are always re-thinking everything that happened in your relationship, then it's a good sign you're not over your ex. Try to step back from it and think about all the reasons why you need to just be you and be without him. You broke up and now it's time to move on.
22. Love Or Breakup Songs
Is Taylor Swift or Adele on constant re-play on your iPod? Well it's time to listen to something new, something inspiring with a fast beat like Katy Perry's new song "Roar." Get up off the couch, throw the tissues away, and get back on track with your life and move on from him. Everything happens for a reason. Learn the lesson and look towards the future.
23. Everything Is a Sign
You accidentally butt called him on your phone, you saw his sister at the grocery store, and "your" song came on the radio twice today! Although it's been months since you broke up, you still take everything as a sign that you will probably get back together. However, these things happen and they may happen again, but they probably don't mean that the stars are aligned and you are destined to be together forever. Your relationship ended and it's time for you to move on.
24. You Still Say "We" Or "Our"
It's not your favorite restaurant that you're going to tonight with your girlfriends, it's "our" favorite and you keep telling them how much "we" love this place. If you find yourself still saying "we" or "our" weeks after you broke up, signs are you're not over your ex! It's okay to say, "we" loved this place, or this was "our" place, using the past tense. If you're not living in the reality of your breakup then you will never be able to move on.
25. You're Keeping Track
Have you been counting the number of days, weeks, and months it's been since your break up? Keeping track of the amount of time it's been is not healthy and won't help you move on. Instead of dwelling on how long it's been since you've been together, look forward to the future and to a new relationship with someone better.
There you have it, ladies, all of my signs you are not over your ex yet. Have you experienced any of these? Do you know of any more signs you are not over your ex to watch out for?
Bonus: You don't respect his next relationship. Some people can break up and remain friends although when that happens, I tend to cosign on the saying "If two past lovers can remain friends, it's either they are still in love or they never were." If you never were and his current girlfriend is uncomfortable with you being around, it shouldn't be a big deal to respect their relational boundaries. And if you are still in love with him (or she doesn't know the truth about your past interaction) and it's not been addressed, the "friendship" is based upon denial, a lie or both. Either way, at the very least, you need some time a part. After all, you're not a good friend if you're not being considerate of his current relationship. No matter how much you might tell yourself otherwise (hence, the denial).
Oh and by the way, if you an relate to more than two of these things, that's a red flag.
Pay attention and act/heal accordingly...