Tuesday, January 14, 2014
An Ounce of Prevention: '7 Ways to Let Your Guard Down While Avoiding Getting Hurt'
I've been there. Hurt to the point that I've wanted to take a vacation from all things human. Yet it's during those times when I keep a promise in Scripture extremely close to me: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3-NKJV) If you look closely, you'll see that it says "HEALS". To me, it's an indication of just how sensitive God is; that he knows that healing from a broken heart takes time; that it's a process.
That's why I like this article. It's a straight copy and paste and also hopefully a sign to someone today that when you refuse to trust and love again after being hurt...SATAN WINS. Don't let him win. He's so not worth it. And your (future) husband shouldn't have to tear down walls that he played no part in you putting up in the first place:
There are several ways to let your guard down but none of them will completely shelter you from hurt and pain unless you learn how to adapt without closing off. Over the course of a couple of years I have stumbled upon several people who don’t seem to let anyone in. They socialize and have friends, but they don’t completely open themselves up and let other people truly connect to them. Yes, they might have been repeatedly let down by people but not everyone is there to disappoint them, therefore it is important to open up at some point. So if you are in a familiar situation, here are some ways to let your guard down.
1. Find The Right People to Trust
It is easy to lose hope in all of humanity if you have been disappointed and let down by some of the most important people in your life. However not everyone is like that and there are other great people you can rely on if you let them get to know you. Don’t be afraid to connect with people because once you find someone who you can trust and rely on, you won't feel the need to keep to yourself. One of the ways to let your guard down is to surround yourself with good people.
2. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
If you are used to keeping to yourself, it is time you experiment by taking risks. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, but you could slowly begin doing things you haven’t done before. For example, admit your feelings to someone, socialize with a new group of people and try to loose your fear of getting hurt by slowly exposing yourself and communicating.
3. Let Your Feelings Show
Don’t be afraid of sharing your feelings with your friends and family. Letting them know what you are feeling and thinking can be cathartic and they can give you valuable advice. Don't worry, you can still keep some things to yourself without completely shutting yourself off from others.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Vulnerable
Some people feel the need to build a façade of a strong and independent person. Although there is nothing wrong with it, there is also nothing wrong with showing vulnerability. You don’t always have to be on your toes. Don’t be afraid of appearing weak and helpless because there is also strength in showing vulnerability.
5. Be Straightforward
There is no better way to let your guard down than by just being straightforward with people about your feelings and intentions. Believe it or not, this can feel quite liberating! After spending so much time in emotional seclusion, being straightforward with yourself and others is just what you need!
6. Avoid Being Cynical
One of the main reasons why many people put up walls is because they are afraid of getting hurt and used by people. Over time they automatically start forming false perceptions of people who might be honest and sincere. So avoid believing that everyone has his or her own selfish reason for connecting with you. People are different and many just truly want to get to know you on a deeper level.
7. Give People a Chance
The bottom line is that you should try to take risks and give people a chance. It might be hard to do and you might get hurt at some point, but you can also reassure yourself that completely exposing yourself to others is worth it. Hurt and pain is just something that you are bound to experience, but it is nothing that should scare you from experiencing some of the best feelings in the world.
So whether it is a romantic relationship or friendship, try to let your guard down. Once you get over your fear, you will understand how beneficial it can be! What are some of your tips on letting your guard down?
Real talk? People are human. That means they're flawed. That means you're going to get hurt sometimes. But if you trust God with your heart (Proverbs 4:23), he'll help you to know how much to share with whom. And how to forgive when they mess up. So that you can be forgiven *when you mess up too* (Matthew 6:14-15).