Thursday, January 16, 2014
An Ounce of Prevention: 'Are You Marrying the Right Person? Healthy Signs and Red Flags'
After rewatching an episode of Girlfriends...
I felt that it was important to post it. Some of you might remember it. It's right at 15:30 that I encourage you to check out:
I'll tell you what. What Yvonne said was good enough to transcribe:
"I let you walk all over me about setting a date, about the house. I let you humiliate me about this whole thing about your mother. I gave up my life's dream of being a cop. That's not something I would do. That's not me. That's E-vonne [the name that William had been calling her rather than Yvonne].
Something kept gnawing at me, you know? And I kept thinking that it was you. But it's not. It's me. I just gave up too much of myself to be with you. You know, we women want to be married so bad. And sometimes we just lose ourselves in the process and that's exactly what I've done. I just don't know who I am anymore...
I love you too. And I am not trying to hurt you. I just don't like who I am with you."
If only *more people had the courage* (in real life) to do that. If only more people reverenced marriage enough to not treat it like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that you can simply end when you want out. Good for Yvonne. To do it on the front end. Even if it was while she was in her wedding gown.
It makes me think of a couple I know who went through premarital counseling at their church, *passed* and broke up anyway. When I inquired why, they said that it was in counseling that they saw how truly not compatible for one another they were. Again, kudos. After all, getting married should not be the main goal; true and lasting spiritual oneness should.
On the heels of that...
I "happened upon" (Proverbs 16:33-AMP) a really good article on how to know if you're marrying the right person. You can check it out by click here. I really like this part:
In the model, Van Epp has determined that there are five major steps that should be taken before the relationship reaches more serious levels. The steps include:
Following these logical steps to relationship development can provide some sure signs that our relationships are developing in healthy ways. Take a minute to evaluate your friendship by asking yourself the following questions:
Is my relationship progressing in a positive way?
Have we skipped any of the steps in our relationship progression?
If so, and to make sure our friendship is healthy, have we gone back and spent more time on the step (knowing, trusting, relying, committing, touching) we either skipped or didn’t spend enough time developing?
The 25 red flags are pretty good too.
I don't know what's going on in the heavens but can you feel the *urgency* to get out of what's not good, figure out what's best for you and then wait to be brought to your partner (Genesis 2:22)? Yeah. Me too.