Friday, January 24, 2014
"On Fire": Be IRREPLACEABLE (Oh, and Be in an IRREPLACEABLE Relationship Too!)
Most of us are quite familiar with this song (and video):
It's catchy. No doubt. But then again, so is (the beat of) "Drunk in Love" and yet...I'll just put it this way: I want to be the sexiest thing *ever* for my husband. Not for the masses. And I don't want him making *any* Ike Turner references to our relationship or being graphic about what we do together. *sigh* When Hebrews 13:4 says that the marriage bed is undefiled, it would help if all of us remembered that undefiled means "pure". It is not a license to say or do whatever just because you have a marriage license.
In other words, some things are inappropriate whether you're married or single.
It reminds me of something my mother once said "Saved or not, *no man* wants his woman naked [for people to gawk at]." Men don't. MEN. DON'T.
OK...but let me stay focused on the task at hand.
I just heard this song and I stopped and *really thought* about what Beyonce' was saying:
"Don't you ever for a second get to thinking, you're irreplaceable."
And then I thought about how many people have the tendency to go from one person to another person. Dating this guy (or girl) and then the next guy (or girl) basically with the "Oh well" attitude when it looks like it's not going to work out. I mean, is that not basically saying the same thing as she's singing? That people can be easily replaced? And in conveying that point, how happy is God with that? I mean, he doesn't treat *us* as if we're replaceable. Well, not all of the definitions of the word, anyway:
Replaceable: to assume the former role, position, or function of; substitute for (a person or thing); to provide a substitute or equivalent in the place of; to restore; return; make good; to restore to a former or the proper place
Yeah. Don't get me started on some divorced folks (who have single exes) who need to *honor* their former spouse as being replaceable in the sense of restoring the relationship (I Corinthians 7:10-11, Joel 2:23-25).
Yet for the single women checking this out, it's the definitions in bold that I encourage you to really ponder (Proverbs 4:26). Being that God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed life into him (Genesis 1:7), being that the Word (John 1:1) says that he fashions our hearts individually (INDIVIDUALLY-Psalm 33:15) and also being that he said that his children are called to be *special people* (and you wouldn't settle for less than a believer and/or disciple, right?-John 17, I Peter 2:9-10) when you really stop to think about it, are we not totally irreplaceable to the Father? Every single one of us?
Irreplaceable: incapable of being replaced; unique
Special: pertaining or peculiar to a particular person, thing, instance, etc.; distinctive; unique
Unique: existing as the only one or as the sole example; single; solitary in type or characteristics; having no like or equal; unparalleled; incomparable; limited in occurrence to a given class, situation, or area; limited to a single outcome or result; without alternative possibilities; not typical; unusual
First up. Being that one definition of individual is "a single human being" (SINGLE human being), can you not see why it is *so important* to be whole in your singleness (James 1:4) *before* marriage? That you need to see (and embrace) the full picture of who you are before adding other pieces to the "puzzle".
Secondly, when you think of the fact that every single one of us is a unique individual, not only does it mean that we are created to be incomparable and unusual but we should also see others in the same fashion. So, rather than looking at a guy and being like "There's a lot more where you came from" or that "There's plenty of fish in the sea" crap (um, stuff-LOL), we actually should revere each one as being a unique entity.
And so, if we feel like we're going to treat them as no more than another pair of shoes, why start anything with them at all? To treat one of God's unique creations as something that can be substituted at any given time...that is a disrespectful to God himself. He didn't make us or anyone else to be seen as nothing short of...incapable of being replaced. One way or another.
That brings me to the final point...
So since we were made in the image of the Godhead to reflect their image (Genesis 1:26-28) and also being that God is love (I John 4:8&16), this means that we are unique beings who are to love in a unique kind of way. Not in the way that the world loves (which isn't really love at all-I John 2:16). We are to strive to see each person as "having no like or equal" (a unique experience) and we are to strive for our covenant relationship to be the most unique kind of love of all.
I mean, why should our future husbands feel like they are irreplaceable when several guys have gotten our heart, our affection, our intimate time, our secrets...our body?
How can a guy who is desirous of taking things to the next level with us going to be able to really trust doing so if he's not "limited to a single outcome" because we thrown out "I love you" like "Hellos" and we have treated multiple dudes like they are all candidates for one of the most unique relationships that there could ever be: *marital covenant*?
Why should we get into anything serious if the goal is not for it to be truly irreplaceable?
And it simply can't be that if we're giving each guy the same thing...
So, what if you've already found yourself guilty of giving up some of the "irreplaceable" stuff? Remember that one definition of replaceable *is* restore. Instead of looking for a guy to "fill the voids" in your life, ask God to *heal your heart and bind your wounds* (Psalm 147:3) instead.
And then, when you find yourself feeling whole again (and trust me, as someone who just celebrated seven years of abstinence earlier this month, he can make you whole or whole again!), instead of having the Beyonce' hook in your head, adapt to God's mentality by saying to guys:
"Look, I'm irreplaceable and you're irreplaceable. We both deserve to be with the person we are going to treat that way, so before getting into anything deep, let's pray about it and see what God says, if we have his blessing to move forward. That way, we don't end up using one another's time; time that could be put to better use elsewhere."
A guy who's not going to pray is already a red flag.
A MAN is going to find it hot that you see you and him in this fashion.
So thanks Beyonce' for the reminder this morning. Oh, and I hope you remember that we all tend to be a lot of what we attracted. If you treat a person like they are replaceable, chances are they see you in the exact same way. And we're all created to be so much more than that.