"There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, 'The two become one.' Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never 'become one.' There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for 'becoming one' with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body."---I Corinthians 6:16-20(Message)
Now here's what's a trip...
I John 2:16 tells us that the world is filled with nothing but lust and pride and so I really
shouldn't be surprised that (The Bachelor's) Sean and Catherine waiting to have sex until after marriage got so much media attention; that it's so much of an anomaly these days. However, I am glad that there are still people who follow God's "recipe" when it comes to sexuality. "Dishes" tend to turn out better (A LOT BETTER) that way.
Not too long ago, someone was asking me if a) I would marry an ex (that I've had sex with...which is honestly all of my exes) and b) would I have sex before marriage. It kind of fascinates me that I continue to get asked that but the answer is this: I like newness and spontaneity and surprises. And I'm not the biggest regifter. Therefore, I want my wedding night to be like "WOW!" not like a rerun (no matter how great the "movie" might be-LOL). So the answer is "no" to both. A book entitled Sacred Sex is a big part of the reason why I've come to that conclusion and I've shared an excerpt of it following 1) a portion of the interview between Sean and Catherine about waiting until marriage and 2) the test results about if they were actually telling the truth.
And regardless of the whole reality TV thing, I will still give them "kudos" because when my time comes, I want to be able to proudly represent the same thing...
That I did it God's way.
That I respected my future husband enough to not dishonor his body.
And that if a took a lie detector test (whether it was about sex, oral sex, nudity, whatever) that I too could pass. With flying covers!
"Seeing sexuality in such a compartmentalized fashion has caused us to discuss sex more as an activity that can be brought under submission. But our sexuality is much more than just a part of us. We are, to our core, sexual beings. Our sexuality affects everything we do, and everything we do affects our sexuality. We may deny this truth, but we can't escape it...
[However] You can't fully and adequately understand God's gift of sex apart from God's gift of marriage. The attempt is similar to taking the main hard drive out of a computer and then expecting it to do the work of the whole computer itself...Likewise, when we remove sex from the context of marriage---even more, when we remove sex from the realm of the holy---we have unplugged the hard drive from the human relationship...
In the separation of sex from the marital relationship, we've taken the hard drive out, set it on the table, shown it to everyone, explained how it works, and asked people to enjoy it. Even more devastating is that we haven't completely embraced our sexuality (that part of us that enjoys sex and sexual things) as a healthy part of our sexuality (that part of us that longs to know God). As such, people keep trying to get the hard drive to work all by itself, but it never does. A hard drive that is unplugged from its computer will never fully do what it is designed to do. Sex, unplugged from marriage and our spiritual selves, will never do what it was designed to do...
The separation of our sexuality from our spirituality causes the sexual pain and evil that pervade our world. When engaged in without God by people without an understanding of the holy, sex becomes an object whose only purpose is a biological sensation or procreation. As a biological urge, all sex sooner or later falls victim to the law of diminishing returns---something that gives us a certain level of pleasure today will produce a lower level of pleasure tomorrow. God didn't design sex to be merely an urge or impulse. And He didn't intend that the excitement would wear off after only a few years.
Prayerfully consider this fact of creation: God created you as a spiritual and sexual person. Spirituality enriches our sexuality. And sexuality doesn't exist in a vacuum, insolated from the rest of our being. A sexually spiritual person is not an oxymoron."---Sacred Sex, "Holy Sex", Tim Alan Gardner, pg.20-22
RINSE AND REPEAT: A SEXUALLY SPIRITUAL PERSON IS NOT AN OXYMORON.
And it's not (don't let modern-day Pharisees or plan ole ignorant folks tell you otherwise). Oh but "making love" to someone you're not married to is. God is love (I John 4:8&16) and light and there is no darkness in him (I John 1:5) and Christ said that if you love him, you will keep his commands (John 15:10) and Deuteronomy 11:1(NKJV) says this: "Therefore you shall love the Lord your God, and keep His charge, His statutes, His judgments, and His commandments always." And being that Hebrews 13:4 tells us that fornicators and adulterers will be judged, for me, that brings these verses to mind:
"But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren."---James 1:14-15(NKJV)
Can you "make love" to your boyfriend (OR FIANCE'). Nope.
You can *make death* though.
Both of you deserve better.
Let this be just one more PSA to please choose wisely.