Saturday, March 1, 2014
BOOK RECOMMENDATION: 'The Sacred Search: What If It's Not About Who You Marry, But Why?'
So, I didn't announce this as a giveaway in the title of the post BUT if you are someone who is in a relationship, you love "him" yet something feels a bit...off, hit me up (at firstname.lastname@example.org). I discern that this book could provide you with the wisdom/answers/clarity that you seek:
I'm a big fan of Gary Thomas. He's the author of Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting, which are also great reads. Anyway, here's an excerpt teaser from The Sacred Search:
A SPIRITUAL SOLE MATE
Let's assume the best right at the start, shall we? A spiritual sole mate is someone who is passionately committed to getting married for the glory of God first and foremost. Such people want to build a family that will model God's ministry of reconciliation to the world. They want to raise kids who will follow and serve God. They want to create a home that is a fortress for God's work on this earth. They want to partner with someone who will help them grow to become ever more like Christ.
Seeking a spiritual sole mate above all else doesn't mean you don't have other motivations and additional marital styles, however. There is nothing wrong, or contradictory, with wanting to marry a spiritual sole mate first but also wanting to enjoy an out-of-doors lifestyle or a companion who enjoys foreign travel. I'm hoping that the spiritual sole mate model will rule every Christian's heart, and that these other styles will be subsets, but I'm also realistic that spiritual maturity is something we grow into and that maturity brings in evolving motivations. If you're already in a serious relationship, try to be honest and ask if your partner will would truly pursue a "spiritual sole mate" marriage with someone else if you weren't a part of the picture. In other words, does your partner really want this kind of spiritually intimate marriage, or do they just want to be married to you and know you wouldn't have it any other way? And then ask yourself, is the spiritual sole mate model of marriage something you're willing to compromise on, something you feel only mildly interested in, or something you are passionately committed to?
I can't tell you how many women have come to me with discouragement clouding their souls because they compromised on this and married spiritually anemic men. They thought everything else going well in the relationship would make up for a lack of spiritual fervor. To a woman, every one I've talked with regretted making that compromise. If you want a spiritually rich marriage, women, you must marry a spiritually alive (and growing) man.---pg.95-96, "What's Your Style?", The Sacred Search: What If It's Not About Who You Marry, But Why?
There's a lot of ways to commit idolatry (Exodus 20:3) and one of them is wanting a man *so badly* that you'll compromise your spiritual stability and progress just to be with "him".
When it comes to the purpose/focus of this blog, Gary's book is a must-have investment for each and every one of us. *Before* marriage. Shoot, before engagement too.