Tuesday, April 15, 2014

An Ounce of Prevention: '12 Signs Your Husband Is Happily Married'


"The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."---Proverbs 14:1(NKJV)

A husband-friend called me last night...

To share with me something going on within his marriage. Let's just say that his wife is really disrespectful when it comes to how she handles finances. I've talked to her several times and so I haven't come to that conclusion just by hearing his side of the story. And what was a trip was as he was venting (and also asking for prayer) I said to him "All that's coming to my mind is 'a foolish woman tears down her house with own hands'." In response, he said "I just read that this morning, actually." Confirmation comes all kinds of ways.

That said, I read an article just now about the signs that a husband is happy within his marriage. It's something to keep in mind...as some of you are getting closer (AND CLOSER) to your "one":

1. He feels that you notice and appreciate him and do not take him for granted. In survey, men consistently identify feeling appreciated as a prime measure of how happily married they are.

2. He knows he can be himself and confide in you without being judged or criticized. This kind of self-disclosing communication is crucially important because it builds trust and commitment.

3. He sees that you desire him and express it sexually. No matter how much a man enjoys sex, it's a turnoff to feel like he's the only one interested.

4. He likes how he feels about himself when he is with you. Your affectionate attention outside of the bedroom, (compliments, praise, hugs, warm touches, saying "I love you") makes him feel good about himself and endears you to him. 

5. He knows you love and accept him for who he is, but he also knows you will not tolerate bad behavior on his part. He knows your love is real and respects it because he sees it's not based on submissive compliance.

6. He likes that you need him but that you aren't 'needy'. Relying on one another is a part of a healthy relationship, but being "needy" (overly dependent) creates control and the desire to flee from it.

7. He likes that you care about looking attractive in your own personal way. He doesn't expect you to look like a Hollywood starlet, but seeing that you care about your appearance makes him feel you value yourself and the relationship.

 8. He feels respected and admired by you. There can't be love without respect. Feeling admired by the one you love enhances self-esteem; it renews both sexual and emotional passion between you two.

9. He never feels belittled or humiliated when you are angry at him. When you are angry and don't resort to personal attacks, you make it safe for him not to be defensive and rather more open to hearing your reasons for being upset.

10. He sees that you can let go of the past. You do not hold grudges, keep score or consistently feel victimized by life. This makes your marriage flexible rather than rigid, exciting rather than dull and open for a future of growing together.

11. He knows that for you, he is a top priority. He is comfortable taking a backseat to all you do and he's confident that when he seriously needs you, you'll be there for him 100%. Why Marriage Doesn't Always Equal Happily Ever After

12. He appreciates that you are kind and welcoming to his family. No one gets to choose their family and many have problems. When you make a genuine effort to accept his, he feels respected and valued by you.

That's some good stuff right there, y'all.

Pass it on to some of your married friends, actually. ;-)



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