Sunday, April 13, 2014
"On Fire": If You're Trying to CHANGE Him, Then You're Not COMPLEMENTING Him.
"Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him."---Genesis 2:18(AMP)
Boy oh boy...
I continued to be amazed by just how much Genesis 1-2 reveals when it comes to how we should live out our daily lives. Take today, for instance. I heard a man say to a woman he was engaged to "You're not supposed to change me. You're supposed to complement me." And for some reason, although I am familiar with that resolve, the word "complement" continued to ring in my ear. All day long.
There are so many couples I have spoken with or counseled who may love one another but honestly, they did not spend a lot of time seeking God about if they truly *complemented* one another. And while there are a lot of people who are familiar with complement being defined as "something that completes or makes perfect", it's actually this one that I'm referring to: "either of two parts or things needed to complete the whole; counterpart".
Counterpart: a person or thing closely resembling another, especially in function; one of two parts that fit, complete, or complement one another
When we allow God to do the matchmaking, he puts two people together who fit one another. Who are "adapted or suited; appropriate; proper or becoming; qualified or competent, as for an office or function; prepared or ready; in good physical condition; in good health" (yes, some of us can stand to use this time to get into better health. Helping is a lot of work!)
However, it's actually that "resembling one another, especially in function" that I really feel led to hone in on.
Function: the kind of action or activity proper to a person, thing, or institution; the purpose for which something is designed or exists; role
The man that God has in mind for you is someone who will be a complement to your purpose and vice versa. And yes, unfortunately, there are a lot of *dysfunctional relationships* out in the world because people are not praying about if they fit the reason for why a person exists. Shoot, a lot of times purpose doesn't even factor into premarital sessions or marriage counseling. That is until someone finds their partner's schedule or ministry or demands or finances or travel (etc., etc.) to be a challenge for them *and then* they find themselves trying to either change the person or alter their lifestyle.
AND THAT'S NOT FUNCTIONAL. IT'S ACTUALLY VERY DYSFUNCTIONAL...
Now am I saying that healthy relationships do not consist of compromise? *Of course not*. When you marry a man, he is signing up to make you his top priority under his Heavenly Father (Ephesians 5:25-33, I Peter 3:7). HOWEVER, if you are a good fit---no, if you are *the right fit*, if you are who is called to help him to function better within his purpose, then you are going to be naturally inclined to support him in thriving (THRIVING) within his calling, not hinder him from it.
So, if you are currently in a relationship with someone, think about if you are assisting and supporting the man in your life to grow and develop within his purpose. If you're spending more time complaining about and competing with his calling, it sounds more like you may be changing him...to me.
And if you're not in a relationship yet, this is the time to ask God (Matthew 7:7-8, James 1:5) to not just reveal to you who "he" is but what his purpose is as well. Pray about both now (NOW) so that when you are brought to your beloved (Genesis 2:22)...you'll be clear that you are the right complement. His fit. What will help him to function better...when it comes to the reason why he exists here on this earth.
After all, that's what being a divine helper is all about.