Saturday, April 5, 2014


Not too long ago...

I was having a conversation with someone about their marriage. Their *new* marriage.

They were talking about how much financial struggling that they were going through and how hard everything was. It took me back to a conversation that I had with them *before* getting married when they said their fiance' was not financially stable. I said that if he could not provide, they were rushing into marriage.

Indeed, there are some things that we consider to be "suffering for righteousness' sake" when at the end of the day, due to our impatience, it's simply...suffering.

As I was doing some praying for the "On Fire" women last night, the Spirit (John 4:24) brought the topic of provision back to me and you know what? Off top, I can't think of one (NOT ONE) man who became a husband in the Word who was not able to provider for their wife.*Before marrying her*.

Not Adam.
Not Noah.
Not Abraham.
Not Isaac.
Not Jacob.
Not Esau.
Not Joseph.
Not Boaz.
Not King Xerses.
Not David.
Not Solomon.
Not Job.
Not Joseph.

And that's just off the top of my head. That's because in God's order of doing things---in his decent order of doing things (I Corinthians 14:40)---a man needs to have purpose and be able to provide *before* he marries someone. Indeed, the definitions of provide are not just "to make available; furnish" and "to supply or equip". It also means "to prepare or procure beforehand".

As someone who, contrary to the odd (and totally non-biblical) tradition of a lot of Christians, does not treat the Old Testament as having any less value or relevance than the New Testament (I just pray to keep everything in its proper context-2 Timothy 3:16-17), I smiled when the Spirit brought this verse back to me to confirm that provision is not to be an afterthought; in order to have a stable marriage, *from the very start*, it is paramount:

 “When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken."---Deuteronomy 24:5(NKJV)

Here's how another version puts it:

"When a man takes a new wife, he is not to go out with the army or be given any business or work duties. He gets one year off simply to be at home making his wife happy."---Deuteronomy 24:5(Message)

Now some people may challenge that it would be impossible for a husband to do this in this day and time. Eh. I discern that it all depends on how much *preparing* he did for marriage *ahead of time*. Yet, even if he can't afford to take off any entire year, what this verse does confirm is that a man spending the first year of his marriage in "hustle mode" to the point that he is not giving his wife the love, care and nurturing that she is deserving of is not God's intention for how a marriage should start.

In other words...

If making money is more of a priority than solidifying his marriage...

If his wife has needs that he can't meet due to this work schedule....

If he's consumed with "making a life" that he can't establish his love life...

He's not ready for the awesome responsibility of marriage. Yet.

So, if you're in a serious relationship and you're contemplating marriage, this is something that you and your significant other need to discuss *before* getting married. A man is not supposed to be figuring out his financial plan during marriage. That is something that is already supposed to be in place before marrying you.

So that during the first year, the focus is not so much on "making money"...

But making a marriage. Work. And last.



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