Sunday, May 18, 2014
An Ounce of Prevention: 'Men to Marry vs. Men Who Aren't Really Worth Your Time'
This morning, I saw an article entitled "Men You Marry vs. Men You Bang". At first, I was going to ignore it because I definitely don't endorse "banging" on here. (Have you ever noticed that references to fornication seem to be so violent? Maybe it's just me. Moving on...)
Yet I decided to read it anyway and I actually agree with a lot of it's points. Only, I tweaked the title a bit. Nothing on the "bang list" is worth your time or your body so stick to the "pros" on the marriage list and proceed with extreme caution to go beyond "Excuse me while I get on the elevator" conversations from the qualities (?!?) in the bang section. By the way, I called that the "Don't Marry" list.
How do you tell the difference between a man who would be great marriage material and a man who would suck as a husband? Let's face it... nobody wants to spend the rest of their lives with someone who is a big disappointment. Here are a few things to look for in men, and what makes a man "good marriage" material versus what makes a man "bad marriage material".
Marry: A man who has a stable job. Jobs are key. Let’s face it, we all should marry a man with a good job and a good head on his shoulders. Money isn’t everything, but having a great job says a lot about how hard he works and his dedication to supporting a family.
Don't Marry (which where they said "bang"): A man who will never stay at a job for more than 2 months. Men who can’t keep a solid job are commitment phobes. Steer clear of these men for long term relationships. However, these men are probably adventurous and [that's basically it].
Marry: A man who knows his way around a kitchen and grill. This type of man shows that he is a grown up and domestic. Sure, you don’t need a professional chef, but you do want a man who can share cooking duties with you.
Don't Marry: A man who only knows how to order take out. He was probably a momma’s boy and never learned the right way to cook. You can’t rely on takeout every single day, that’s way too expensive. Also, you don’t want to do the cooking every day, do you?
Marry: A man who acts like a real man. You want a man who can take accountability for his actions and be responsible for getting things done. A man who steps up to the plate and doesn't act like a child is definitely marriage material.
Don't Marry: A man who will always act like a kid. Men who play video games and eat cereal for every meal cannot be taken seriously. If he’s still acting like a kid when he is in his late 20’s, he will never grow out of that phase. (I actually don't totally agree with the "never" part. But I will say that a man who has not "put away childish things" in his late 20s-early 30s is a sign of arrested development and you should let him get those things straight. You need to be *a wife*. Not *his mother*.)
Marry: A man who loves children. This one is a no brainer, if you want kids. You need a man who loves children and who would love to have children with you. There is nothing sexier than a man playing with kids.
Don't Marry: A man who cannot stand kids. Really though, who doesn’t like kids? This is like a man who doesn’t like puppies. This man is no good for marriage!
Marry: A man who reads Forbes. This man is interested in learning and bettering himself in the business world. He is definitely a keeper for many different reasons.
Don't Marry: A man who reads Playboy (or likes watching porn). This man is stuck in a fantasy world. He will constantly compare you and your body to the women he sees in the magazine. Not only that, but he will also set unrealistic expectations for your sexual relationship.
Marry: A man who lets you fart around him. This one sounds silly but it’s true! At the end of the day, we are all human and bodily functions happen. You don’t have to be comfortable farting on his lap, but you need a guy who is OK with you letting one slip from time to time.
Don't Marry: A man who is grossed out by female functions. This man is no good. Girls have a lot of stuff going on at different times. If you can’t fart in front of him, can you imagine him wanting to be in the room with you when you have kids? No way!
Marry: A man who dresses like this (at least some of the time):
Don't Marry: A man who dresses like this (basically all of the time):
Marry: A man who [deeply adores you and shows it]. A man who tells you he loves you every day, and does the little things for you is marriage material. This is a man who will love you for the rest of your life.
Don't Marry: A man you have to chase. The thrill of the chase can only last so long. Do you really want to spend your life with a man who never seems fully pleased with you?
Marry: A man who makes you laugh. Laughter is the key to a great relationship. You want to marry a man who can make you laugh and joke around with you. It’d be amazing to spend your life with your best friend.
Don't Marry: A man who could make you cry. We all know a guy who can say the things that just make you want to cry uncontrollably. Do you want to spend your life with a guy who makes you feel like crap?
Marry: A man who can express his feelings. The guy doesn’t need to pour his heart out to you each and every day, but he needs to be open and honest with you. You want the guy who can tell you when he’s upset or excited, this is normal.
Don't Marry: A man who can’t open up. You don’t want a guy who bottles up his emotions. One day, he will just explode and go nuts. You can't have a man who lacks emotions. Trust me, don’t spend your life with this guy.
It's a good list to ponder (Proverbs 4:26) and you know what grandma used to say "If you can't see getting pregnant by him, don't have sex with him." If we were to tweak that, "If he's not marriage material...move on."