Tuesday, June 3, 2014
An Ounce of Prevention: 'A Few Red Flags Men Should Never Ignore..."
What we need to be open to seeing is that our relationships are not working because there are some things that *we need to work on*. That's what I appreciate about the article entitled "A Few Red Flags Every MAN Should Never Ignore". It's a S-C-A-P:
Women are just as capable of hurting a good man as a man is a good woman, but it’s rarely discussed. In this article, I will discuss basic red flags men need to consider when getting to know a woman.
(1) Fresh out of a relationship: Avoid dating a woman who is fresh out of a relationship. Allow her to close one door before opening another. Learn more by reading The Shocking Truth About Rebound Relationships.
(2) Jumps from one relationship to the next: This type of woman moves from one lustful and emotional experience to the next. She is motivated by fantasy and the next “emotional high” she can experience from a man. Once the “in love” phase has ended, she believes the relationship has gone bad. She is not willing to face the reality that we are all flawed and no relationship is perfect.
(3) Clingy: Women who are clingy are simply insecure. Also, they are trying to gain control through being clingy. When dating this type of woman you have to establish clear boundaries with her. If you don’t, she will try to wreck your world in an attempt to make you feel the pain she perceives you have caused her.
(4) Looking for perfection: This type of woman goes from man to man because she is demanding perfection. You often hear this type of woman saying things like, “I need a man worthy of me,” “There are no good men,” etc… This is the type of woman who is likely to leave a man instead of standing by his side when he hits hard times. She lacks the ability to allow a man to be human.
(5) Gold-digger: Simply put, this woman is looking for a free ride. She is not seeking to contribute to the life of a man unless she is benefiting financially. Her love will be conditional and based completely on the financial standing or power of the man she is with. This woman will be high maintenance and require expensive gifts along with financial assistance.
(6) Nothing in common: Contrary to popular belief, opposites do not attract. Of course, two people can be different and have a beautiful relationship. However, the relationship is usually safer when you have a lot in common.
(7) Seeks to find happiness through you: If she feels you are the reason she is happy, when things go wrong she will blame you for her unhappiness. This is called “codependency,” but I will address this in a future article.
(8) Blames all relationship failures on her exes: This type of woman never takes responsibility or accountability for the role she has played in her relationship failures.
(9) Expects her needs/desires to trump everything: This type of woman believes nothing is more important than her… no matter what your responsibilities may be. She will lack understanding of your goals, dreams, etc… and force you to sacrifice everything while she sacrifices very little.
(10) Emotionally or physically abusive: Yes, women can be physically or verbally abusive towards a man.
(11) Emotionally unstable and leans toward being in constant high conflict over the minor things: Remember there is nothing wrong with emotions. God gave us emotions to balance us. However, emotions are not for decision making or framing our life around. Living this way can be dangerous and will always foster relationship problems.
(12) Stalks you on social media: She will make a fake account to stalk you and follow every woman who follows you. She will also just check your posts and comments in an attempt to check on you. Of course this behavior is rooted in insecurities.
(13) Selfishness and Pride: Selfishness is the opposite of love and is anti-Christ. Although we are all born selfish because of the original sin of man we have to work daily to die to self so our spirit of Christ can live within us. If this is something you struggle with it starts with a renewed heart in Christ Jesus and a desire to share your life with others. Today make a decision to receive Jesus Christ in your heart and turn back from what is keeping you from having the love God has for you.
These red flags don’t mean the woman is hopeless or that she can’t heal and overcome these issues. This is just a basic guide to look out for certain behaviors that will hinder building a healthy relationship with a woman. Remember, these women are all loved by God and many of them just need love, healing, and a healthy focus on God. This is not a list of elimination, but a list of being mindful of starting a relationship with a woman who is simply not ready.
Yep. Some men are not "commitment phobes"...they simply see red flags.