Saturday, August 2, 2014



Some of y'all might think that quote up top is a bit...let's say extreme. Oh, but if you could sit in some of my counseling sessions! I actually have a happily married spiritual sistah who used to say all of the time "The loneliest night in a bed alone beats being in a bad marriage."


That said, as I was doing some praying for the self-esteem level of the "On Fire" women, the story of the female eagle and her mate selection process came to mind (Luke 12:12). I tried to find it captured online. I'm still looking. In the meantime, here's the gist:

(As told by the Wintu Tribal Elders of California)

When it comes time for the female Eagle to choose her mate, she prepares herself for many suitors. And many come before her. She looks them over quite well and then picks one to fly with for awhile.

If she likes the way he flies she finds a small stick, picks it up and flies high with it. At some point she will drop the stick to see if the male can catch it. If he does, then she finds a larger stick and flies with it much higher this time. 

Each time the male catches the sticks, she continues to pick up larger and larger sticks. When she finds the largest, heaviest stick that she herself can carry, the stick is at this point almost the size of a small log! But she can still fly very high with this large stick.

At any time in this process, if the male fails to catch the stick, she flies away from him as her signal that the test is now over. She begins her search all over again. And when she again finds a male she is interested in, she starts testing him in the exact same way. And she will continue this "testing" until she finds the male Eagle who can catch all the sticks. And when she does, she chooses him, and will mate with him for life.

One of the reasons for this test is that at some point they will build a nest together high up and will then have their Eaglettes. When the babies begin to learn to fly, they sometimes fall instead. It is then that the male must catch his young. And he does.

The female Eagle and their Eaglettes have depended on him to be strong for them. Just as we Native women and children need to depend upon our Native men.

So what I would like to offer to you my friends is this. Sisters, how well do you "test" your suitors before you allow them into your life? And my Brothers, how well have you caught the "sticks" for your women and your children?

Whatever our past has been like, if we need to change, let's do so now together.

Our children are counting on us to make these good choices for them and for their children.

Remember when I posted the tale of the male bowerbird? How he does not move into a female bird's home? *She comes into his*? That made me look for some other examples. Such as the ones mentioned in the article "Love in the Animal Kingdom: How Do Animals Choose a Mate?". Whew! These birds!

Why is this bird dancing? Do you know? Here's a clue - the dancing bird is a male and the other bird is female. That's right, the male bird is trying to impress the female. The birds are superb birds of paradise. Dancing is the male's way of attracting a female. This is called a courtship display - a special set of behaviours that animals perform to win a mate.

That's not the only unusual courtship display in the animal kingdom. We've picked our top five. Which one is your favorite?

It's not just birds that dance. Check out this video of a male jumping spider dancing to impress a female. He sounds like a motorbike!

Male frigate birds dress up to attract a female. They inflate a huge red sac on their chest, like a balloon! Males wave their wings and heads, wobbling their chest and clacking their bills to make a loud noise.

Even insects have strange courtship behaviours. Some male insects give the female presents. Male dance flies catch prey and wrap it in silk - a tasty present for the female dance fly!

Lots of male frogs sing to attract a female. Male frogs sing by taking a deep breath, then closing their nostrils and mouth. Air flows over the vocal chords causing the vocal sacs to inflate. In some species, the vocal sacs can be almost as big as the frog! Listen to this noisy western chorus frog:

Why do animals have these strange behaviours to attract a mate? Dancing and bright feathers show females that the male animal is healthy and strong. Gift giving shows the female animal that the male is good at getting food and will provide for their young.

So, all these courtship behaviours are just for show! They're all about convincing the female that the male will be the best father for her offspring.

Next time you hear birds in your garden, stop and think about why they're singing. Could they be trying to impress a female?

I've actually been told that most of the dead possums that we see in the road are male. They are risking *everything* to get to answer the female's mating call and sometimes the light from cars blinds them and they end up getting ran over. Not *her*. HIM.

It really is brilliant how nature works. When it comes to all of the bird stories, how male birds must prove they can care for a female bird and how the female birds are willing to wait (TO WAIT) as long as it takes to find the male bird who truly can.

Why? Well, for one thing, I believe they were made by God to be that way. I also believe it's because they are to remind us (REMIND US) that we are to be equally as discerning.

Sometimes we're so caught up in "getting in a relationship" that we "forget" to look for the qualifications of what makes a relationship work: A MAN and A WOMAN. We need to be what God requires of a woman *and* the man needs to be what God requires of a man.

Until that the female eagle...we need to chill out (CHILL OUT) and well, "drop more sticks".

Hmm...that will probably be a new phrase of mine when y'all write me.

Have you dropped enough sticks?


Has he caught the right stick?

Just something to think about, ladies.

God has his best in mind for you.

You also have free will during the selection process.

*Please*. Choose wisely.



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