Sunday, September 7, 2014
"On Fire": The Evidence of True SOUL MATES...
"I had gone but a little way past them when I found him whom my soul loves."---Song of Solomon 3:4(AMP)
There's a place that I go every weekend (that I'm in town)...
It's my "divine assignment spot". Yesterday, my one of my girlfriends met me there. As she was laughing at all of the conversations I was holding with various folks, especially as it relates to sex/relationships/marriage, there was an older couple (60s) that I noticed approaching the double doors that we were sitting outside of.
As they walked hand-in-hand, they could looked---calm, peaceful and really relishing being in one another's presence.
So, in true Shellie (buck-LOL) fashion, I stopped them and asked them how long they had been married.
"40 years his coming Christmas night," the husband replied.
Then I asked them what I tend to ask all married couples who intrigue me...
"So how did you know that was your wife? How did you know he was your husband?"
They laughed and the husband said "Do you want the version we tell everyone else or the whole story?" I like to read. And write. And engage. I wanted the whole shebang.
And that's just what we got.
Over the course of about 15-20 minutes, they shared how they were best friends, he was engaged to someone else, God had told both of them that they were supposed to be together (yes, while he was engaged to someone else), both of them fought against it, she also got engaged to someone else (after hearing that her now husband was the one)...it went on and on. There was even a part of the story that was hilarious to me because after already receiving confirmations to marry (eh hem) *his best friend*, the husband was still looking for more signs. He said he opened up his bible it immediately went to the first chapter of Hosea when God told Hosea to marry the prostitute Gomer. The husband said when he walked outside, someone was teasing his now wife and said "Hey Gomer!"
"No one has called me that before or since" said the wife smiling.
As they continued to share that they both *finally accepted* that this was God moving on December 5 and got married 20 days later (remember, they knew each other for much longer than that---they were best friends for many years) and how their marriage has had its ups and downs over the years but they remained committed (as married folks should be-Matthew 19:1-12, Ecclesiastes 5:1-7) and now they are closer than ever, I found myself saying this:
"So, can I ask you a favor? Would you pray for my friend?"
They both said "Sure" and kind of just stood there...assuming I meant later.
"No, I mean would you pray for her now?"
The smiled as they took each other's hands and then each took one of my friend's hands to create a circle. I placed my hand on my friend's back and the wife and then the husband prayed for my friend and her marriage. It was *nothing but the Holy Spirit* (John 14:26-AMP) as they hit so many issues that they, in their natural minds, knew nothing about. Oh, but the Spirit revealed it. It was awesome. My friend's tears showed it.
As the prayer ended and we all hugged and affirmed one another, I watched them walk away and I woke up knowing I needed to pen something about this for the "On Fire" gals.
So many of you are looking for your husband and if you're super romantic/mushy, you probably like to refer to "him" as your "soul mate". I have absolutely no problem with that because if we're going to do marriage responsibly, *you should be desiring to be with someone* who will connect with the "spiritual part of you" (one definition of "soul") in such a way that it touches "the principle part of your life" (another definition of soul). Yep. When the Shulamite woman declared in Song of Solomon 3 that she found the one whom her soul loved, that's essentially what she was saying.
It wasn't merely a physical connection...
It was a lot deeper than that...
She had made a *soul connection*.
Yet bringing up the couple is a "marriage preparation PSA" on a few levels...
One, I definitely provided you with the edited version of how the couple got together. However, I'm sure you see that it was nowhere near typical. My point? Don't look for your love story to be how *you* think it should be. Let God do what God wants to do. Next point: One thing that both the husband and wife did was spend a lot of time seeking God for confirmation and clarity if they were meant to be with one another. In other words, it's a good sign if both you and "he" are praying about and for one another. It's a huge red flag if only you are, if you're always asking "him" to or if he rarely ever does. Especially as it relates to getting insight from God about if the two of you should really and truly be together. Or not.
And then here's the bigger point...
Matthew 12:33 tells us that a tree is known by its fruit. I don't discern that this is *only* referring to someone's individual character (Colossians 3:12-17). I sense that it also applies to *the character of a relationship* as well. Most of you have probably heard that "marriage is a ministry". One definition of ministry is "service". Galatians 5:13(NKJV) tells us "For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."
When you're dating (which is prayerfully more like courting), it's not about making an opportunity for your flesh to do things that should be reserved for marriage (Hebrews 13:4, I Corinthians 6:16-20-Message). It's about serving one another in the sense of helping one another grow more spiritually (mutually so)---not missionary dating but both people inspiring and encouraging one another to thrive in their personal relationship with God and also in their individual (Psalm 33:15) purpose (Psalm 20:4). Yes y'all, the right one is going to want you to fulfill your purpose. And if you're the right one for them, you will want them to do the same.
Yet there's one more thing that the married couple, *the true soul mates*, showed me:
As we stood in front of a movie theater entrance and they prayed on the spot, it showed me just how ministry driven they were. There was evidence of their soul mate connection because of the fruit of their willingness to "stop, drop and intercede" for my friend. That's just how spiritually in tune and connected they truly were.
My point? Evidence of a soul mate connection is when two people are spiritually connected not just for the sake of making one another's lives abundant but those around them as well. Therefore, even in a dating/courting situation, both people should be very *service driven*. You should be willing at all times to use your purpose, calling (Romans 11:29) and spiritual gifts (I Corinthians 12) to benefit others. So should "he". And you what? When the two of you are together, so should the both of you! When you're together, one way or another, people should see evidence that you are a godly couple---not just two people who are dating.
So, whether you're praying for your soul mate to come or for wisdom (James 1:5) about if the one you are with is the one that truly is for you, my prayer is that you'll keep H & D (the initials of the couple I've been talking about) in mind and as a standard for your own relationship.
Real evidence of a soul mate connection is that there is a true spiritual one.
We tend to make it more complicated than that but it really is...just that simple.