Wednesday, October 8, 2014

An Ounce of Prevention: 'Advice from a Bride-Wife...10 Years In'

Last week...

I got some *bangin'* pictures from a spiritual sistah of mine in commemoration of her 10-year wedding anniversary. Aside from the fact that I totally dug the photographer's eye, when Melody told me that she was in *her original wedding dress* and that taking pics in her wedding dress every decade as her marriage and family grows was going to be a traditional of theirs (so cool!), I knew I had to share a couple of them on here *and* that I wanted some of her pearls of wisdom.

Let's do a couple of the pics first, shall we?

And her advice? It's as follows:

"...if I had to come up with one big reason our marriage works for us, it would probably be the fact that quitting was never, and never will be, an option.

When you know that you are in this together for keeps, it absolutely changes your perception of what's worth keeping a priority and what's worth letting go. It makes me see how everything I do or say is an investment in my/our future, and both of us are going to get whatever we invest into it, good or bad.  Divorce is not a word that's mentioned, and we've even discussed different awful scenarios in marriage in order to know how we'd handle it, at least hypothetically, and to know that there are no deal-breakers.

That said, praise God I am married to a man who doesn't see this permanency as a get-out-of-jail-free card to do whatever he likes because he knows I won't divorce him. He's not perfect, just like his wife, but he knows he answers to the Lord for how he treats me as do I. So, while we certainly have our tough seasons, that humility on both our sides is seriously vital.

Other little things like how sarcasm, name-calling, yelling, and walking away aren't allowed in regards to our arguments or fights make for a HUGE difference in being able to communicate and work things out. We don't always follow those rules, but I'd say that 90% of the time they apply.

The fact remains that even if either or both if us were storming out of the room, yelling at the top of our lungs over an affair that was just admitted, and everything crumbling right in front of us, despite the difficulty in that which I can't even fathom, at the depths of our hearts, we would still know that we were still in this for the long haul. I know it, and he does too. And because of it, it's worth every part of my being to give my all to this thing we started 10 years and 8 days ago."

Well said, Ms. Melody. Well said.



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