Wednesday, October 1, 2014
"On Fire": The Right Man Includes the RIGHT TIME (and the Right Time Is God's Business!)
"To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven... He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men’s hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end."---Ecclesiastes 3:1&11(AMP)
"He told them, 'You don’t get to know the time. Timing is the Father’s business. What you’ll get is the Holy Spirit.'"---Acts 1:7(Message)
Ecclesiastes 3. When it comes to timing, there is a lot of wisdom in there. And yet, interestingly enough, so many of us totally overlook it. The Message Version of it is entitled "There Is a Right Time" for everything and it starts off like this: "There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth." That doesn't say that there is an opportune and right time for everything *but a spouse*. It says that there is an opportune and right time---*for everything*.
Opportune: appropriate, favorable, or suitable; occurring or coming at an appropriate time; well-timed
Right: in accordance with what is good, proper, or just; in conformity with fact, reason, truth, or some standard or principle; correct; correct in judgment, opinion, or action; most convenient, desirable, or favorable; in a satisfactory state; in good order
Yeah. I'm pretty sure that most of us have heard the saying "The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing." Yet, based on how impatient a lot of us tend to be (love is patient, not impatient, by the way-I Corinthians 13:4), *especially in the area of being brought to our customized "him"* (Genesis 2:22), how many of us really believe that?
What are you going to do with the right man if it's not the right time for him to become a permanent fixture in your world? (And being that only God knows the future, how can you possibly discern when that time will be without God's wisdom and guidance?-James 1:5, Proverbs 3:4-6)
In order to be with the man who is good and just, a man who conforms to biblical truth, standards and principles, a man who is correct in his judgments, a man who will come (catch it) at the *most* convenient time, the most desirable time and the most favorable time and a man who is in a satisfactory state when his life *and your life* are in good order so that the two of you can start the "becoming one process" (because God does things decently and in order, after all-I Corinthians 14:40)---whew---in order to truly be with the right man, first, we must be the right woman for that right man (which is a part of what this time of singleness is all about-James 1:4) AND we must trust in God that all of this will happen when the timing is appropriate *and* favorable *and* suitable...when it is well-timed.
What made me really think about all of this was while reading an interview that Mario Lopez recently did on the key to remaining faithful on E! Here's the part that caught my attention:
"The timing in your life as an individual, the timing in the other person's, it's really gotta make sense. And I was so blessed to meet my wife when I did. I wasn't necessarily looking to get married, but I was looking for a companion or maybe to just kinda chill."
Mario continues, "There is no 'right one.' You can meet an amazing girl but if she comes when you're not ready, you're just gonna mess it up…It's all about the right time."
While I do personally believe that you can be married to several people on this planet and live a good life, I will say that I don't totally agree that there is no "right" one. God is into the details and since he knows the numbers of hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30), he certainly knows which man is best for you. And "best" means better than all of the rest!
That said, Mario's perspective did make me think of a few things...
First of all, a part of what he said sounds a lot like this:
Yep. Some women are breaking their necks (and quite frankly, *their own hearts*) because while they're so busy trying to show a man who "good they are for him", they have failed to ask God if it's time for the guy to see it. Just like Adam, I truly believe that in the spirit realm, all men have a time when they "unconscious"; when they are not able to see you, hear you, feel where you coming from no matter how hard you try. And you know what? ONLY GOD CAN AWAKEN THEM (Genesis 2:18-25).
Secondly, it makes me understand more and more that while there are some folks whose relationships don't last because (eh hem) *they never had any business being in them in the first place*, there's also a considerable amount of them that end because people are thinking someone is not the right one when really, it's simply not the right time. And again, that is not totally up to the two people involved. Good timing, as Acts 1:7 tells us, is the Father's business. What he provides us with in the meantime, is the Holy Spirit to serve in all kinds of ways: Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby). The Amplified Version of John 14:26 breaks all of his roles down.
Uh-huh. So you know what all of this means, right?
When it comes to knowing if a particular guy is right for you, seek wisdom, discern fruit (Matthew 12:33) *and* get some wise counsel (Proverbs 24:6).
Oh, but if you want to know if it's *the right time* to be in a long-term relationship, don't spend a lot of precious hours and days that you won't get back asking/nagging/pressuring the guy! That is something to go to God about! Remember, when we pray on any kind of matter that we are anxious about, when we go to God in the spirit of thanksgiving, this is what happens:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."---Philippians 4:6-7(NKJV)
Peace comes. Peace that surpasses all that you're trying to figure out on your own---yes, even about the timing of being joined to your future beloved. Not only that, but God makes sure to *guard your heart and mind* (Proverbs 4:23) too!
In order to be in a healthy covenant, YOU BEING THE RIGHT WOMAN for the right man is paramount. Yet you know what? So is embracing what Mario had to say: You've got to want *the timing* in "his" life and *the timing* in your life to make sense. Spiritual sense. Common sense. Good sense as well.
Love is patient. That is saying a mouth full, "On Fire" sistahs!
Love your future husband enough...
To not just want "him"...
But to want him to be in your life and remain there...*at just the right time*!