Those of you who've been following this blog since the Facebook days...
May recall a light bulb moment that I shared when I was praying to God about single men. The Spirit (John 4:24) said to me "You would be uncomfortable too if you were walking around without a rib."
The context of that is a rib is what God took out of Adam in order to make the Woman, his wife. And by very definition of the word, what a rib is designed to do is provide strength and support. That's why it's so important to be a woman of virtue even during the dating/courtship process. As I oftentimes say "Women are made to help. Whether we help a man to heaven or to hell solely depends on us."
Well, this morning, as I was praying for the "On Fire" women, another "ah ha" came from the Lord. First, he reminded me of a Scripture that a spiritual sistah by the name of Jennifer brought to my attention several years ago:
"Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!"---Jude 1:2(Message)
How many single women over 25 (who desire to be married) do you know who, when it comes to the subject of relationships, know how to RELAX? Who know how not to be so tense? Who know how to release anxiety (Philippians 4:6-7)? Who know how to *chill out* when it comes to the particulars of when they will be brought to the one God has for them?
And here's the thing: If more of us knew how to *relax*, we could better embrace one part of Adam and the Woman's love story that far too many of us seem to overlook:
"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.'
From the ground God formed every wild animal and every bird in the sky, and he brought them to the man so the man could name them. Whatever the man called each living thing, that became its name. The man gave names to all the tame animals, to the birds in the sky, and to all the wild animals. But Adam did not find a helper that was right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to sleep very deeply, and while he was asleep, God removed one of the man’s ribs. Then God closed up the man’s skin at the place where he took the rib. The Lord God used the rib from the man to make a woman, and then he brought the woman to the man.
And the man said, 'Now, this is someone whose bones came from my bones, whose body came from my body. I will call her "woman," because she was taken out of man.'
So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body. The man and his wife were naked, but they were not ashamed."---Genesis 2:18-25(NCV)
It kind of deserves its own blog; "it" being the fact that a lot of us need to remember that a husband and marriage are not something that God *owes us*. James 1:17 tells us that every good and perfect gift comes from God. Adam was given the divine gift of a wife because God said (GOD SAID) that it was not good for man to be alone. God started the entire love journey between Adam and the Woman without help from either one of them.
So, to be so arrogant as to say "I'm tired on waiting for God to bring me my husband" is...disrespectful for one, and a bit presumptuous too. Let's not forget the Message translation of what Christ said about marriage:
"But Jesus said, 'Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.'"---Matthew 19:11-12(Message)
A lot of us can stand to ask God 1) "Am I called to marriage?" and 2) "Am a mature enough right now to live a married life?" Again, God doesn't *owe* us a husband just because we want one. God blesses us with one when and how and *if* he sees fit.
OK, but it's the part in bold that I really want to hone in on.
During the process of making Adam's beloved, God put Adam to sleep.
Adam didn't "fall asleep". *God put him to sleep*.
One definition of sleep is unconscious. By very definitions of the word, when someone is unconscious, they are "unaware". When someone is unconscious, they are "not consciously planning or intending". When someone is unconscious, they are "not aware of one's actions, behavior, etc."
One of the main reasons why I'm sharing all of this is because there are a lot of us out here trying to get a man's attention or to ultimatum him into marriage (which is a threat...who wants to get married because they are *threatened*?!?) and yet, I'm not sure how many of us are seek God for divine wisdom (James 1:5) on two points:
"God, did you bring me to this man or I did I approach him on my own?"
"God, is he choosing not to see me or is he spiritually unconscious because it's not time for him to?"
You see, I'm very at peace with recommending to *anyone* to follow the Garden-of-Eden blueprint for courtship because that's the only time that we've seen courtship in its perfected state. So, with that said, if God brought you to someone and he's currently not making plans or treating you with a state of awareness that speaks to marriage preparation, that is not something to take up with the guy; that is something to discuss with God.
WHEN GOD PUTS A MAN "TO SLEEP",
GOD IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN AWAKEN HIM.
On the other hand, if you are approaching the guy on your own and as a result, you're overextending yourself in order to get or keep his attention (sexual immorality would qualify in this case-I Corinthians 6:16-20-Message), then that's something that you did all on your own. Repentance (I John 1:9-10), more than anything else, is what's required to correct the issue.
And here's another point. There are some clear indications of when a man has been "awakened" by God so that he can clearly see and receive his beloved. For one thing, *without her having to tell him*, he will do something similar to what Adam did. He will acknowledge her as being the one God has made just for him. And secondly, he will do the definition of awake. He won't just "wake up". He will "rouse to action; become active".
In Song of Solomon, when the Shulamite woman so responsibly (Galatians 6:5-NCV) said to her friends "Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right" (what are your friends saying? What are you saying to them?-Song of Solomon 2:7-NLT), one way to look at this is that she was asking them to not encourage *action* until the right time. The right time is when the guy is ready to embrace (James 1:17) the gift God has for him in the form of the woman who is meant to be his bride. His wife. His covenant companion until death. And when he is awakened, he too will act.
*Not because a woman nagged or manipulated or threatened or seduced or any of that*.
*It will be because the same God who put him into a state of spiritual unconsciousness is the same God who will awaken him to act. To do what it takes to put things into position to make "his Woman" his wife.*
So in taking all of this in "On Fire" women...
Yes honey chiles...RELAX.
God is still in the process of making you suitable (Genesis 2:18-AMP) for "him".
And God will awaken him to realize that...in his time. Not yours.
(Acts 1:7-Message, Ecclesiastes 3:11)
Amen. So be it.