Earlier this week...
A sistah friend of mine sent me the video below. In just a few weeks, it's already received over 5,000,000 hits and so I'm pretty sure that some of y'all have already seen it. Personally, while the dancing is certainly entertaining, what I enjoy most about clips like this is that there appears to be so much JOY in the room. Among everyone in the room!
Not only that but, the bride and groom appear to be quite RELAXED in their LOVE...
God does not OWE you or me a husband.
Quite the quantum leap, right? Eh, not really. As I was reading this morning about nagging wives, it helped to inspire the thought. Proverbs 21:9(AMP) says "It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman." In other words, you'd be better off being anywhere but inside of your home when you have a nagging woman inside of it! Then I read an article entitled "The Gracious Wife versus The Nagging Wife" that helped to further drive the point home:
"If you nag at your husband… if you annoy and torment him by finding fault, being disagreeable, scolding, complaining, or urging him to do a particular thing, you are not being the wife that God has called you to be! God wants us to encourage each other, to lift each other up, not tear down. He wants us to respect our husband, and willingly submit to his authority, without grumbling and complaining."
Now here's the thing. Man is made in the image of God in order to reflect his likeness (Genesis 1:26-28), right? Not only that, but 2 Timothy 3:16-17 tells us that ALL SCRIPTURE is divinely-inspired and serves a purpose. This means that God basically cosigns on what King Solomon said. And since I Peter 3:4(NKJV) speaks of *godly wives* having an "incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God", I can't help but to think that God likes quiet---*to not be nagged*---as well. Especially when I read verses in Scripture like this one:
"The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”---Zephaniah 3:17(NKJV)
When you're quiet, you're "not noisy".
When you're quiet, you're "saying little". (Let your words be few.--Ecclesiastes 5:2)
When you're quiet, you're "free from disturbance or tumult; tranquil; peaceful".
When you're quiet, you're "refraining or free from activity, especially busy or vigorous activity".
When you're quiet, you're "at rest"
Another definition of quiet? SILENT.
All of this goes really well with "Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10-NKJV)
You know what else complements it? This:
"Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."---Philippians 4:6-7(AMP)
Anxiety is nothing close to quiet.
When someone is anxious, they are "full of mental distress or uneasiness".
When someone is anxious, they are "greatly worried".
When someone is anxious, they are "earnestly desirous; eager".
Do you know how many women I know who are ANXIOUS for a HUSBAND?
And here's the thing: When we choose (because it is a choice) to be anxious, we are *choosing* to be disobedient. God tells us what to do instead of being anxious---and that is to pray. And the praying should not only be about petitioning him *but thanking him* for who he is and what he's already done in our lives (a lot of people miss that part when it comes to that Scripture!).
I'm going to take it a step further, though...
I discern that it also means not to be a nag.
If you've ever been around a nagging person before, don't they seem pretty darn anxious (and controlling)? Shoot, I'd venture to say that it's actually pretty hard to nag *unless* you're anxious---something that God's Word tells us *not* to be.
Does that mean that we shouldn't pray for what we desire? *Of course not*. James 4:2-3(NKJV) tells us "Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures." If you break this down, it basically means that if you want something from God *ask* (not demand but ask) for it. *And* after you ask, you have to trust him if he tells you to revisit your motives (Proverbs 21:2&8-Message), that it's not the right/best time (Ecclesiastes 3:11) or *even* that he has something else in mind for you (Luke 11:11-13), he knows what he's doing. He knows what he's talking about. Because he does. The Word tells us that God's understanding is infinite (Psalm 147:15). Ours...isn't.
Which is why I started out this message by saying that God doesn't owe us a husband. Because he doesn't. Marriage is a *gift*; it is an automatic *given*. You can revisit the Israelites demanding a king (I Samuel 8) or them demanding quail (Psalm 106:15) and see where it got them. It wasn't anywhere good!
So take a moment and be really honest---with God and with yourself.
ARE YOU NAGGING GOD ABOUT MARRIAGE?
If so, *why should he entrust you with a husband being that men don't like to be nagged?* Just ask one. If you can't allow God's love (GOD'S LOVE) to quiet you down, if you can't be still and know that he's got everything under control, if you can't do what the picture quote up top says and RELAX, knowing that God is on the way (because God is love---I John 4:8&16) and that he will make your way perfect, *however and whenever he decides to do it* (Psalm 18:30-32), why should be entrust you with *the gift* of a husband? Or marriage? So you can be somewhere nagging your husband to death because you didn't use the time of being single to practice not being anxious? Remember, God does things in a decent order (I Corinthians 14:40).
Learn how to pray---first.
Develop a quiet spirit---first.
*Then see*...what comes along the way.
I like the word "relax" for a lot of reasons.
A relaxed person is "not tense".
A relaxed person is able "to release or bring relief from the effects of tension, anxiety, etc."
A relaxed person is even "less severe" about rules.
That last one is really cool because it's a reminder that Adam and Eve, Rebekah and Isaac, Boaz and Ruth, Joseph and Mary...shoot, even Hosea and Gomer all had different love stories (including courtships) yet they all played an intricate role in God's overall plan. A *relaxed woman* is not going to be so determined that a man should come in a certain way that she ends up, well, *missing him*. MISSING OUT. A relaxed woman trusts that love is on the way---however God chooses to manifest it is totally up to him.
That's why this message has the title that it does...
God loves us regardless (Jeremiah 31:3).
However, the love experience is far more attracted to folks who can *relax*...
Over people who are *anxious*.
Learning not to nag now...
Is good practice for not making your husband wish he was anywhere *but* around you later.
And trust that love is truly on the way!
Not because you demanded it...
But because God, in his sovereignty (Psalm 18), choose to *gift you* with it!
"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."---Lamentations 3:25-26(ESV)